Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

    ... over dreams.

    Dreams of somehow 'bypassing' the effects of Antabuse.. of weaseling my way out of my own commitment and waking up feeling like a fraud, anxious, and disappointed.

    I suppose it should be a relief... realizing it was only a dream. But.. is that what my demon mind is scheming? Am I to ignore this or take some sort of action? Heck if I know. Do you?
    Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

    Winning since October 24th, 2013
    Tags: None
    #2
    Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

    Ah dear Sunni...only you know the answer to that.:l
    I think I have an evil twin sister that comes out once in awhile.

    Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


    St. Francis of Assisi

    Comment

      #3
      Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

      I don't know the answer, Sunni, but just think about how good you feel - especially waking up in the morning. How you are a wonderful grandmother and can be there for your grandson 24/7 without drinking. If you get a call in the middle of the night..you know you can drive. Those thoughts helped me in my struggle...my granddaughter has kept me AF. I want to be available to her and my daughter whenever they need me.

      I've been wanting to ask you how you are feeling after your surgery? How long has it been? You're not riding yet, are you?
      Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

      Comment

        #4
        Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

        Thanks ladies I'm really not sure WHAT this dream means.. but it may have been brought to life because of me forgetting the little pill one day. Perhaps I just needed a jolt to not start slacking off.

        No, grateful.. no riding (or other fun activities ) for 6-8 weeks Which means sometime in January. I'm feeling fine, except very tired... definitely low on the energy scale.
        Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

        Winning since October 24th, 2013

        Comment

          #5
          Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

          You're beautiful, smart, and atlhletic. I don't see alcohol fitting in that picture anymore. Do what you need to do and stand strong. Get serious about taking those meds they may be the catalyst that free's you from the poison forever. Love John xx

          P.S. And don't disappear again. You belong here and we need you too!!!
          Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

          Comment

            #6
            Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

            What techie said.
            I had all the same thoughts. It's vital that you don't give into them and allow yourself some real space and time in which to settle into your sober lifestyle.
            Stay strong and please.....
            keep taking the tablets.

            Comment

              #7
              Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

              I had these kind of dreams for AGES!!! Hell, i'd wake up feeling drunk and think S**T did i do something in my sleep. I don't think you can control dreams but it's great that in reality you're not drinking!

              Comment

                #8
                Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

                I think we have an inner saboteur.
                It doesn't work exclusively with alcohol, but other goals that we set ourselves as well.
                Maybe it's just a normal part of the human psyche, like a balancing effect [dark and light side, yin and yang]
                Maybe self esteem that's taken a bit of a battering over the years ?
                But I have noticed this phenomenon in myself and others before.
                I've also noticed that it raises it's ugly head when we are starting to succeed.
                Could it be as simple as our sub conscious mind fighting for the old status quo and resisting change ?
                Maybe I'm just full of shite and need to go to bed :H
                If your 8 year old self met you, would they be proud?
                Rejoined life 20/5/19

                Comment

                  #9
                  Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

                  byebyebridgetjones;1018695 wrote: I think we have an inner saboteur.
                  It doesn't work exclusively with alcohol, but other goals that we set ourselves as well.
                  Maybe it's just a normal part of the human psyche, like a balancing effect [dark and light side, yin and yang]
                  Maybe self esteem that's taken a bit of a battering over the years ?
                  But I have noticed this phenomenon in myself and others before.
                  I've also noticed that it raises it's ugly head when we are starting to succeed.
                  Could it be as simple as our sub conscious mind fighting for the old status quo and resisting change ?
                  Maybe I'm just full of shite and need to go to bed :H
                  Hi Sunni!

                  I'm sure those dreams will pass. I've found it to be vital that we stay the course, and get through the first few AF month's etc, no matter what, and as the other guy's said, give ourselves a good and fair chance to get used to the sober life.

                  Bridget. Your above quote is spot on, and has been my experience too, particularly in the earlier AF day's. But now that i've got a taste of successful and happy sober living, well that just breeds more successful and happy sober living. Bravo i say!

                  Best wishes Sunni, and get well soon! x

                  'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                  Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

                    Must be in the air, I had a drinking AND smoking dream last night, woke up feeling lower than a worms dick...

                    Kinda affects me all day, funny thing is, I rarely think of drinking or smoking and have no cravings (am enjoying being sober so much more and don't miss it in the LEAST) but I guess my sub conscious is trying to remind me how shit it would be if I did drink...and maybe it's the season we are in too where vices are so much more to the fore of everyones mind.
                    "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

                    AF 10th May 2010
                    NF 12th May 2010

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

                      one2many;1018723 wrote: woke up feeling lower than a worms dick...
                      :H:H:H

                      You are too funny, Oney.
                      Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

                        Worm's dick...ah the visual is enough to NEVER take another drink...lol

                        I had a drinking dream a few nights ago and I also felt like crap mentally the whole day. And I didn't even drink!

                        And about your subconscious doing a number on you when you are succeeding - I totally believe that. It's like deep in your soul part of you wants to sabotage the good. Like you are not worthy of succeeding. I have a problem with that that stems from abuse as a kid - my father constantly saying I was not worth a shit...he was a horrible alkie drug abuser, so as an adult I have to consider the source, but still. The bastard's been dead for 25 years and his words still ring in my cranium!

                        GG - you are a good woman, STRONG and beautiful! You are a ray of sunshine - don't let this crap get to you. You are loved.

                        Kat
                        February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

                        When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

                          I hear ya Wagonhead xxxx
                          "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

                          AF 10th May 2010
                          NF 12th May 2010

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Feeling guilty and uncomfortable

                            I agree with you Bridget on self-defeating behavior. I think we subconsciously try to give ourselves what we think we deserve, or at what we're used to, and frequently that's a shit sandwich.

                            http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/23/health/23mind.html
                            Secrets of Defeating Self-Defeating Behavior
                            AF since July 15, 2010. :applouse:
                            "People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." —Ann Landers

                            Comment

                            Previous template Next
                            Working...
                            X