how do we deal with trauma without alcohol?

[medic]

Sounds like a dumb question right? I suspect for a lot of people this is the conundrum. I am asking this not for a mystery answer but to get us talking about how we deal with bad circumstances/events in our lives without resorting to the alcoholic escapism we may have fell back on in the past. Please contribute your thoughts...

[mario]

how do we deal with trauma without alcohol?

It certainly is not a dumb question but the facts with me anyway was that i was never dealing with anything when i was drinking,i was just clouding my brain and body and hoping the pain/trauma/problem would melt away, it never did,When you stop drinking you will find you can deal with all aspects of life in a clear and concrete way......... give your self a chance :-)

[Wagoneer]

how do we deal with trauma without alcohol?

I found it very surprising that I deal wth trauma, upset etc. much more calmly and rational without the haze of alcohol. It is never easy, but it is sooooo much easier when you are not drinking.

[mylife]

how do we deal with trauma without alcohol?

Hi Medic, I used AL to deal with trauma, and pretty soon I used it to deal with everything else, too. I find now that dealing with EVERYTHING is better without AL. Give it a try once or twice and you'll probably be surprised.

Have a great AF Sunday.

[Guest]

how do we deal with trauma without alcohol?

I find dealing with any problem WITHOUT AL is a lot easier. Ok at first seems an attractive diversion but AL only ever made me feel worse, or at least exaggerate whatever was going on for me.

[Pride before Fall]

how do we deal with trauma without alcohol?

Thanks for this post, Medic. Definitely worth exploring.

A combination of therapy, antidepressants, and the support of good people (plus cutting lose relationships that were bad for me) got me through the PTSD flood that was my late 20s. I didn't take care of the supportive relationships in my 30s, when my kids were small and I was working; AL was readily available pain relief. It was stupid and self-destructive, but felt weirdly safer; the fewer important relationships in your life, the less pain of losing them. The less joy of having them too, but that didn't weigh as much at the time. I monitor that now. "I'm scared!" "Take the risk" plays in my head a lot around relationships.

I also have pretty strong negative feelings about self-pity, which can morph too easily into a lack of compassion for myself and push self-care to the bottom of the list. I monitor that now, too. I'm mostly grateful for it, though. Wallowing in a childhood of abuse and neglect no amount of "if onlys" will change doesn't foster the life I want for myself or my kids. I couldn't choose how I was parented, but I can choose how to parent. Not being their "drunk mom" is my hugest motivator.

Certain lines have played in my head over and over through the years: "haven't got time for the pain," "living well is the best revenge," "the only way out is through." I honestly think they saved me; that and reading as my initial escape valve.

I'm grateful to be putting some thought into this today, thanks again for posting. : )

Pride

[Sunnyvalenting]

how do we deal with trauma without alcohol?

It is good to have a mutual support system. I have 3 sisters and several friends who would walk through hell with me. In the past I have allowed my "pride" to dissuade me from asking for help. I am learning to ask. I also am trying to "be there" for them (which I can't be when/if I drink).
When you think about it most people in the world figure out ways to survive trauma without using stress as an excuse to start drinking to excess. It will feel awkward at first. It SHOULD. Awkward means we are actually trying NEW ways. In time those new ways can become our default response (I hope). We are actually training our brains to respond differently. We are making neural connections which reflect our values and our decisions to remain AF.
Good Topic
Sunny

[Choochie]

how do we deal with trauma without alcohol?

Good thread, Medic. Sun - something you said hit home for me. I think I've always been too proud to reach out for help too. It's part of the perfectionist part of me - perfect people don't need help. Well, I'm really having to rethink that because I do need help. And, for the first time, I'm admitting it and asking for it. It's too lonely and difficult to do alone.

[Sunnyvalenting]

how do we deal with trauma without alcohol?

Coochie,
Indeed. That is where a lot of us stumble. But there are people who can help and are only too willing to if we do our part as well. I see that you are testing out AA. A social support system seems to be one of the determinants of ultimate success.
Good luck
Sunny

[brittzak]

how do we deal with trauma without alcohol?

You're not dealing with trauma if you are drunk. You are hiding from it. The sad thing is, when you sober up....the sadness is still there, all you did was actually prolong your grief.

[sapphire1]

how do we deal with trauma without alcohol?

Great thread MEDIC thanks,

I drank to feel less pain and I woke up wounded
I drank to stop the hurt and fell down hurting
I drank to get me through and I got all tangled
I drank to feel o.k. and I just felt rotten
I drank to feel less fear and I just freaked out
I drank to make me laugh and it made me cry
I drank to have some fun and was made fun of
I drank to help me cope and I just copped out

Now I dont drink and after many months of intensive nutritional support for my mind and my poor alcohol ravaged body, I find that my attitude to trauma is much more rational and not fraught with fear. Repairing biochemical imbalances in the body have helped me so much more than talk therapy...my brain simply knows how to cope now.