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    #31
    I'm drinking...

    AFM-
    Sending you love, hugs, and strength. You're in my thoughts :l

    :h:h:h
    K9
    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

    Comment

      #32
      I'm drinking...

      Accountable for Me;1023039 wrote: Do you believe in the after life??? I so want to. I have lost faith. I really want him to be with me forever. I am feeling so alone.
      I certainly don't have the answers. But this I will share. My grandpa H. was very special to me. He always made me believe that anything was possible in my life. He always said to dream big. He died of cancer way before his time and that was my first experience with the death of someone close to me.

      There have been a number of moments in my life where I achieved something I never thought possible. And I swear I have felt him with me. Like he knew all along what was possible.

      I have no idea what makes it feel that way. But I cherish it. I believe if we open our hearts that our loved ones will always be there - a little piece of their spirit inside of us always. I hope you believe that too.

      DG
      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

      One day at a time.

      Comment

        #33
        I'm drinking...

        AFM,
        I so feel your pain. I have walked in your shoes and I can tell you, the alcohol just prolongs the grief. You won't fully grieve until you let yourself grieve sober. I love you and I am here if you need me. You have been my rock many times.
        Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

        Comment

          #34
          I'm drinking...

          HI AFM
          I am a part of the family of humanity. Not one person on this earth is a stranger to me. Rev. Ted Noffs

          Comment

            #35
            I'm drinking...

            Accountable, *hugs* let the emotions come. Post here and let us support you.

            I believe in angels, after life, spirit guides...all of it. I follow no faith, but I have had a few things happen in my life that have confirmed my belief. One story I will share..my dear mother passed three years ago..I went to her grave site on her birthday to plant a chrysanthemum ..it was a cold, windy, rainy day, I really didn't want to get out of the car, but I did. As I was digging the earth where she is resting I felt intense warmth, enough to make me look up at the sky...the clouds had parted and the sun was shining right where I was, it was dark and gloomy all around me except for the one sunny spot where I was...all I could do was smile.
            Nov 1 2006 avg 100 - 120 drinks/week
            April 29 2011 TSM avg 70 - 80/wk
            wks* 1- 6: 256/1AF (avg 42.6/wk)
            wks* 7-12: 229/3AF (avg 38.1/wk)
            wks 13-18: 192/5AF (avg 32.0/wk)
            wks 19-24: 176/1AF (avg 29.3/wk)
            wks 25-30: 154/10AF (avg 25.6/wk)
            wks 31-36: 30/37AF (avg 5/wk )

            I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.
            http://www.thesinclairmethod.net/community/

            Comment

              #36
              I'm drinking...

              AFM,

              Keep asking for support through this extremely rough time. I too believe that our spirit goes on to light and love. Six years ago my mother passed, from cancer, in hospice. My brother told me that a few days before she passed, she opened her eyes, looked at a point above him, and said, "Is that really you?" We believe that loved ones were coming for her, family who had passed, or Jesus. It was a great consolation to us.

              Sending you love and strength.
              Formerly known as redhibiscus

              Comment

                #37
                I'm drinking...

                I will share this as well. My mom passed away in December 2004. Mom and dad both had health problems, and were diagnosed with cancer. In July of 2005, my dad started his final journey, and during his last moments I asked him to give mom a big hug when he saw her. I swear to God, the moment he passed he let go our our hands and put his arms out wide like he was doing just that. :l

                So, yes, I do believe.:h
                _______________
                NF since June 1, 2008
                AF since September 28, 2008
                DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                _____________
                :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                _______________
                The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                Comment

                  #38
                  I'm drinking...

                  ((((AFM))))) I remember the pain of losing my Mother and my uncle who was like a second father to me. I don't have any words that will help, except I'm thinking of you and hoping you father finds some peace soon.

                  Comment

                    #39
                    I'm drinking...

                    Thank you all for your kind words.

                    I am really sorry for being such a bummer on the boards lately. It has been tough, and lonely these days.

                    Still no change with him. We aren't bringing him home either. He will remain in Palliative Care, it was a decision that his wife and the Dr. had made.

                    xoxo

                    Comment

                      #40
                      I'm drinking...

                      hugs and strength AFM
                      I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                      Live in the Solution....not the problem

                      Comment

                        #41
                        I'm drinking...

                        AFM, I know first hand how very difficult end of life issues can be. I have dealt with it with both parents, and my youngest sister. The first two losses, my mother and sister I dealt with whist still drinking, but with my father two years ago, I was sober. Staying sober really did make it so much easier to handle. I will not say it was easy, but, I dealt with everything so much better. I encourage you to be kind to yourself during this time. I am sending you peace and comfort.

                        xxx Kate
                        A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                        AF 12/6/2007

                        Comment

                          #42
                          I'm drinking...

                          I am going to stay sober through this. I blew it twice since dad became terminally ill 6 months ago. But, drinking exasperates the situation. I am pretty hyper-sensitive as it is and when I drink, it really brings out the horrible sadness in me.

                          There is absolutely no excuse for my drinking. I know. I am mad at myself, as I let myself down.

                          I am really, really, really, trying to get more coping skills without turning to the bottle.

                          I truly appreciate all of your thoughts, sending me peace and comfort, and prayers. xoxo

                          Comment

                            #43
                            I'm drinking...

                            So sorry for what you are going through. It is a natural life transition we just hate to face! We are never prepared. My heartfelt prayers go out to you and I'm sure you know, as tempting as it is to try and drown the sorrow, it isn't the answer. I know, I tried. Would not advise it!
                            Lost my father when he was 68, and he fought to the very end to live! Broke my heart completely to see him lose the fight. He had so many things he wanted to accomplish yet! I felt at the time, so undeserving to be living, when I had given up on life and wanted to die (divorce/drinking) and he wanted life so badly. How could I still be alive and he gone! Took me years to get over feeling I had somehow robbed fate. I would have gladly given my life for him to live.

                            We get through it somehow and their memory always lives with us. We get on with it and we stumble and fall at times, but our life does go on.

                            Give yourself the permission to grieve.

                            Comment

                              #44
                              I'm drinking...

                              Thinking of you today Accountable *hug*
                              Nov 1 2006 avg 100 - 120 drinks/week
                              April 29 2011 TSM avg 70 - 80/wk
                              wks* 1- 6: 256/1AF (avg 42.6/wk)
                              wks* 7-12: 229/3AF (avg 38.1/wk)
                              wks 13-18: 192/5AF (avg 32.0/wk)
                              wks 19-24: 176/1AF (avg 29.3/wk)
                              wks 25-30: 154/10AF (avg 25.6/wk)
                              wks 31-36: 30/37AF (avg 5/wk )

                              I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.
                              http://www.thesinclairmethod.net/community/

                              Comment

                                #45
                                I'm drinking...

                                saving grace, my dad just turned 62. I know exactly what you are saying. Exactly. I think I could write that exact post one day in the future once my dad does pass. My God.

                                I truly appreciate all of your kind words and sharing your experiences with me. It actually gives me a sense of peace. It really does.

                                I love you all so much. Thank you for being there for me. xoxo

                                Comment

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