Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

'Dreaded' Family Dinner

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    'Dreaded' Family Dinner

    Hi All,

    I have a family dinner this Sunday, as for various reasons we can't all get together on Christmas itself.

    I've tried all of their patience now for roughly 3 years with my dips in and out of drinking, crying on the phone, begging for help, sneaking alcohol when they weren't looking etc.

    I'm dreading going this weekend and knowing they will all be watching to see that I don't drink. Not because I think (at the moment) I'll want to, but that I have made myself a liar and a sneak.

    I've also got to turn up without any presents for anyone as I have spent my money on....drink....a horrific thing to know that I have been so selfish - AGAIN.

    I'm unemployed as I have not been able to find/hold down a job since my heyday where I was a respected senior manager. Yet whenever I find a few bucks here or there....TO THE STORE WE GO!

    This is the problem with my own cycle....I get clean...realise I have no money and thousands in debt (I have only just started opening the bills again after a 2 week 'bender') and then it panics me and what is the only thing that makes me (think...) I feel better? A drink.

    And so it goes on....and on...

    I have now managed a week sober which isn't much but a start but I fear this dreaded dinner will kick me off again.

    Any ideas?

    Thanks all!
    If you can't have one drink, don't have any - My Nan
    Tags: None
    #2
    'Dreaded' Family Dinner

    :welcome: English,
    Firstly well done on your week AF and now onto the family dinner.
    May 2009 I went to my godfather's 90th birthday dinner and made a complete arse of myself, enough so that I had one or two relatives ring me with their 'concern' for me. Fast forward to May 2010 at his 91st birthday dinner. I had been AF 10 months and have to say I was absolutely dreading it. I got through it nobody said anything about my behaviour the previous year and I woke up the following morning guilt free and hangover free,.

    It is a difficult time for all of us financially so perhaps promise your time instead of presents. A bit corny I know but it may work.

    My favourite as always is the arrive late leave early strategy, and of course there's always the medication excuse, I have to be up early tomorrow, I've got a bit of a dodgy tummy (no-one asks for too much detail with that one).

    Remember it's one dinner and if all those excuse fail just don't go.

    J x
    :l
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

    Comment

      #3
      'Dreaded' Family Dinner

      Thanks for taking the time to reply Jackie and Hello!

      Unfortunately I have made a fool of myself at a couple of events now too which still make me cringe...

      I can't bear not to go as my family have all been hit by some hard times and drifted apart, so this is like a 'one big gathering' to bring us back together. My Mum would be heartbroken for example.

      The presents I know no-one will really mind about, but it's the shame of them knowing why I can't do it this year....being selfish.

      They know I am working on it though so it's good I have obviously finally shown them that much, as before I think they despaired. I just find it sad I can't be 'normal' and toast Merry Christmas without getting silly!

      Thanks again and I'm going to be strong!
      If you can't have one drink, don't have any - My Nan

      Comment

        #4
        'Dreaded' Family Dinner

        You know what sucks? When you're sober for the first time in years and nobody in your family notices. They all think you must have some beers hidden in the bathroom or something, and you don't have the opportunity to correct them on the matter, because nobody mentions it.

        Ultimately, the world doesn't care whether you drink yourself to death or not. Selfishness comes into it again. You need to sort yourself out for your own sake, and no one else's. Good luck with the unopened bills. I have contemplated installing a paper shredder inside my letter box on many occasions...

        Comment

          #5
          'Dreaded' Family Dinner

          EW -
          kudos for being here. That is your first step.
          I, too, have no presents for family b/c of unemployment. I plan on hugging them, thanking them for being there for my family and leave it at that. I am telling myself this Christmas is just another day, and next year will ROCK.
          Just being there matters the most to your Mom. Pull her to the side and tell her how important she is to you. That would sure work for me!!
          Best of luck, and please stick around
          I love my family more than alcohol.:h
          Live in the Solution....not the problem

          Comment

            #6
            'Dreaded' Family Dinner

            love the paper shredder idea....i need one too:H:H
            I love my family more than alcohol.:h
            Live in the Solution....not the problem

            Comment

            Previous template Next
            Working...
            X