Starting again

[Chillgirl]

Starting again

ThisWayOut;1024787 wrote: Thanks Chill. Taking U-turn now. I hope to feel better soon. xxoxox TWO

you know how i love my quotes......"if your on the wrong path, God allows u-turns"
p.s. where's your avatar??

[ThisWayOut]

Starting again

Hi Chill. Such a nice quote - thank you. And thank you for new avatar - i love it. TWO by TWO

ps. I am sweating alot today. body is reacting now.

[Chillgirl]

Starting again

awww I LOVE IT!!! Looks so cool

you know the answer TWO..... its one of your fav subjects....... WATER! :H

[ThisWayOut]

Starting again

Water

[KateH1]

Starting again

I love the new avatar Two!! Did Chill designe this?
Yes, Yes, Water with lemon, orange, cucumber or just plain water and lots of it!! We do love our water!! We will get you back in top AF shape in no time!!
K

[ThisWayOut]

Starting again

Thanks Kate. Water w/ Lemon, orange, cucumber. Sounds delicious. First day so have been feeling sick. More water....

[ThisWayOut]

Starting again

Just woke up. Day 1 is over and on to Day 2. Oh man yesterday was so so so long. Like a mega-hangover - withdrawals. Not much sleep last night. So many thoughts running threw my head - too many thoughts. Can't really sort them out yet. So many feelings of guilt, embarrassment, regret, etc. And feelings of hope for better days. Thoughts swirling around in my head. How did I get back to this point. How do I recover from it. Why did this happen. How can prevent it from happening again. How was it possible for me to forget that I cant drink - not possible. how am I going to get Xmas shopping done in time. do I go to work early and pretend that I have not been late every day and irresponsible for months. do I stay at work late and make up for it. Is it too late, will they be firing me soon. Family, friends what do I say or not say to them does it matter. do they even care at this point. does it matter. how did I go 6 months AF last year - when I felt on top of world and confident, only to be tricked by my own mind - mind says to me yes i can have an occasional beer or beers and be fine. I deserve a beer, I have turned around my life and accomplished so much in such a short period of time - forgetting all the destruction before this - despite the fact that i already knew about how tricky the mind can be - the monster inside just waiting for a time when you think you have it all together and are fine and then the monster says ok, you proved you can do it, so whats one drink a month or week? how could that harm me or anyone? slippery slope as i found out - to a point that i was then drinking every night and thinking i can get away with it. just get to work somehow, try to recover from hangover and get through the day so i can go home and drink to escape the pain of life and loneliness only to make it so so much worse. drinking to get rid of hangover - just keep drinking because it is the easiest way to escape everything but not really escape it. i was taking to someone yesterday about how life is hard and it occurred to me that it is and that is just the way it is - so cant escape it - must deal with it - learn again how to without drinking. how do i repair the damage i caused myself and get back on track - one day at a time - now on day 2 - need to go xmas shopping - hope i still have time - i let everything important just slip by and not deal with it - easier to just drink and forget all - no one will catch on - who would care anyway - now reality is in my mind - everything coming back - cant drink anymore - life is hard - deal with it - dont drink - take this one day at a time and never forget the pain and destruction Al causes. don't get over confident again - accept i can't drink - but i really do want to escape tonight - drink to kill this pain - if only for a few hours of relief - but i can not any more - i know this is not the answer - actually i already knew it - so why did i drink? - now reached bottom - climbing back up - if I only just stuck with this i would be in so much a better position to deal with holidays - which i just wish would go away. all these thoughts going through my head - not knowing if i can do this - but i know i can. i wish i could stop all these thoughts - just want to be able to feel good about myself again and be responsible and give to other people and do the right things - even though i know it will be hard but life is hard so why not accept it and deal with it and just take it step by step and be thankful that i am alive. Get out my books, lists, toolbox. Maybe i should take meds or supplements - or not - ok Day 2 ahead. maybe i can go to a store and buy xmas presents - or call friends and appoligise or do nothing and just not drink. Too many thoughts. need to quiet my mind - meditation - hope i remember how - too many things to do now - but only one thing i can control and that is not drinking - maybe i just start there - heart is racing - worried but feel hopeful that i will be feeling better and be responsible and everything. Rambling - ok, day 2 on deck - not sure what to do, except what i can't do any longer - drink - but want to drink - just can't anymore - it makes no sense to anyway - i have had enough already...

[mistysmoma]

Starting again

Get yourself some L-Glutamine powder and mix with juice..it helped me alot early on, and still use it when I get cravings,and B vitamins as well. Check the meds thread, there is good info there that may help.

[ThisWayOut]

Starting again

No words - failed tonight - drunk - had anxiety build up to overwhelming level - no excuse but it is - back to day 0 - gonna get local help here in my town. I need someone here to stay with me 24/7 or I move in with relatives / family - can't do this alone. Too lonely here. Sorry for even posting anything... Tomorrow I work smarter and harder...never quit trying. Peace to all.

[Pride before Fall]

Starting again

Get all the help it takes, TWO. Self-hypnosis tapes (good ones) help tremendously with anxiety and racing thoughts, IMO. Give them a try if you haven't yet. You sound really flooded there. Keep breathing, it'll be okay.

Pride

[ThisWayOut]

Starting again

Yeah, i was thinking too much. Now I am calming down and making a good plan. All good. I'll be fine. one step at a time.

[Frequent Traveler]

Starting again

Never give up!!! I have been fighting the same fight as you and now going on day 8 since having that last drink and love the feeling of a clear head in the morning. I started my journey in Jan of 2009 and it has not been an easy trip but worth the effort, I will succeed.
FT

[Chillgirl]

Starting again

ThisWayOut;1025772 wrote: Yeah, i was thinking too much. Now I am calming down and making a good plan. All good. I'll be fine. one step at a time.

TWO - ODAT is a good start and so is a plan.
That "monkey mind" is a product of AL and remember that you are in charge of that volume switch so turn the voice down and think good calming thoughts, maybe listen to some chill music.....

[sidney]

Starting again

This is a very difficult time for you TWO. Try to take small steps to get through the initial days. The bigger picture will get clearer after you have some AF time behind yoiu.

You did this before you can do it again. Use your strongest asset your wonderful sense of humour and talk to us. We all are pulling for you and would do anything to help you.

[ThisWayOut]

Starting again

Chillgirl;1025817 wrote: TWO - ODAT is a good start and so is a plan.
That "monkey mind" is a product of AL and remember that you are in charge of that volume switch so turn the voice down and think good calming thoughts, maybe listen to some chill music.....

most excellent idea Chill!