I`d like to thank those in Chat yesterday, who were there for me on Christmas Day of all days, when people are themselves very busy.........I was very distressed and needed to talk to someone and you were there for me, so thank you.
After an almost relentless 48 hrs. of panic attacks, I awoke this morning only to feel the first stirrings of panic yet again and I was aware that I was allowing it to take hold again today until........I acknowledged that it all but ruined Christmas here and I cannot and hopefully, I will not allow it to ruin today.
I am not looking for pity when I say that I do feel very ill with the level of anxiety I have now been enduring for months, but I now acknowledge that I am not helping my illness any by being a cry-baby and wishing it all away.
I am never again taking any meds for anxiety, simply because they just don`t have an anti-anxiety drug that either doesn`t come with possible side effects or risk of addiction and I am too nervous a person to run any of those risks........to take meds actually causes me additional panic attacks.
So, I have decided to try my hardest to help myself. I know that I, myself, am making myself sick in this way and only I, myself, can make myself better.
I am trying to reassure myself that I can recover from an illness that is all in my head without taking meds as I managed to get off and stay off the drink, where my problem was `real`, without meds.
I have very much been waiting to be rescued and accept that I must now take responsibility for my own mental health.
I have decided to look into natural aids for anxiety that some of you very kindly recommended to me recently. I was too distressed earlier in the week to look into any of them properly.
I am committed, as of today, to recovering from this breakdown, through relaxation, meditation and natural remedies.......all virgin territory to me, but I truly believe that therein lies my future good health and equilibrium.
I thank God that I have not been in the least tempted to drink my way through any of this.......it has simply lost its allure for me. However, banishing alcohol from my life should have been a catalyst for many changes in my life, and.........I was too lazy to change a single thing and.........that is undoubtedly where I went wrong.
I used to term myself a `recovered` alcoholic, in that I am no longer in the least tempted to drink. I now know different. I will only ever be truly recovered when I am living a simple, happy, and fulfilled life........when I truly learn how to give and receive love.
I remain very afraid.......panic and agoraphobia can make me feel powerless. I now choose to believe that I can reclaim that power. I expect it will take time, but that`s alright, just as long as I get there in my own time and under my own steam. I hope you will be here for me throughout.
I apologise for the lengthy post........not over-dramatic, I hope........I just posted what`s in my head/heart right now.
Thank you,
Star x
After an almost relentless 48 hrs. of panic attacks, I awoke this morning only to feel the first stirrings of panic yet again and I was aware that I was allowing it to take hold again today until........I acknowledged that it all but ruined Christmas here and I cannot and hopefully, I will not allow it to ruin today.
I am not looking for pity when I say that I do feel very ill with the level of anxiety I have now been enduring for months, but I now acknowledge that I am not helping my illness any by being a cry-baby and wishing it all away.
I am never again taking any meds for anxiety, simply because they just don`t have an anti-anxiety drug that either doesn`t come with possible side effects or risk of addiction and I am too nervous a person to run any of those risks........to take meds actually causes me additional panic attacks.
So, I have decided to try my hardest to help myself. I know that I, myself, am making myself sick in this way and only I, myself, can make myself better.
I am trying to reassure myself that I can recover from an illness that is all in my head without taking meds as I managed to get off and stay off the drink, where my problem was `real`, without meds.
I have very much been waiting to be rescued and accept that I must now take responsibility for my own mental health.
I have decided to look into natural aids for anxiety that some of you very kindly recommended to me recently. I was too distressed earlier in the week to look into any of them properly.
I am committed, as of today, to recovering from this breakdown, through relaxation, meditation and natural remedies.......all virgin territory to me, but I truly believe that therein lies my future good health and equilibrium.
I thank God that I have not been in the least tempted to drink my way through any of this.......it has simply lost its allure for me. However, banishing alcohol from my life should have been a catalyst for many changes in my life, and.........I was too lazy to change a single thing and.........that is undoubtedly where I went wrong.
I used to term myself a `recovered` alcoholic, in that I am no longer in the least tempted to drink. I now know different. I will only ever be truly recovered when I am living a simple, happy, and fulfilled life........when I truly learn how to give and receive love.
I remain very afraid.......panic and agoraphobia can make me feel powerless. I now choose to believe that I can reclaim that power. I expect it will take time, but that`s alright, just as long as I get there in my own time and under my own steam. I hope you will be here for me throughout.
I apologise for the lengthy post........not over-dramatic, I hope........I just posted what`s in my head/heart right now.
Thank you,
Star x
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