Going to commit suicide

[dixon]

Going to commit suicide

My friends,
How are you all !

I have been badly hated today though I am sober 4 days from Xmas.
My wife also stood against me supporting other people living with us.
The issue was the matter of the meter of boiler for central heating.I don't now who put the boiler switch in danger point because of that whole house was heated badly and there could be chances of fire at home.Everybody blamed me because of Xmas incident but I am sure that I am innocent.My wife also supported others and gave me ultimatum saying it is your last chance with me .Actually she is in my dependant visa and I am sending passport f tomorrow for visa stamp.I think I must send her passport as well whatever happens in future.If we get separated my kids will live with her.I am really worried about kids and love her as well but she comes against me heavily.

I went job today but got back cause I cant stop my tear in eyes.She does not know this and I am also not willing to share !!
I cant sleep as well ,but committed yet not to drink.....
I cant go to public as well for this case..What to do..............
Dixon

[rubywillow]

Going to commit suicide

I have been away since the weekend, with a terrible virus, but I have read this through. So glad you're here, and getting such WONDERFUL advice from these wonderful people.
Since pride seems important in your society, remember this - suicide brings lifelong shame to those closest to you. It is a curse to them to live with. I know this because there have been those tragedies in my family and close friends, 1 this year. It is NEVER the right option, because as long as there is tomorrow there is a chance. And unfortunately, it is easier and seems a good solution when we are very intoxicated, so there is danger there. I hope you stay here, make friends, and you CAN regain your life. I've done things so bad when I drank I couldn't imagine facing people again, ever. But today, life is good, though still not without daily problems. Hang in there, hon.

[dixon]

Going to commit suicide

Rubby,
Yea I have got so many favours from the community.
But still I could not tolerate the tragedy as I will live at one corner and by little kids and wife in another...If she dies I can it could be tolerable after a bit of time .In this case it is forever until I live ...O my god what to do..
Though I believe if there are 100 difficulties today could turn to 1000 opportunities ,how to define opportuniies in future accepting 15 years relationships ???
Sorry to bother you all.
Dixon

[rubywillow]

Going to commit suicide

This is the place to talk. You can say things here you can't tell anyone else. We've all been in bad places at one time or another, and only by finding 'my way out' personally (and with a lot of hard work!) can we make our future better than you could imagine right now.
Rember too, hitting someone physically is NEVER alright. If you've done that when drinking, she wants apologies from you, because it hurts more than bodies, it hurts the soul.
Good work staying here, continuing to talk. Read all the other threads and if you see one you like, post some there too. You will be welcomed.

[dixon]

Going to commit suicide

Rubby you are great experienced !

I think my big problem is her smiling talking to other males although they are not acquittance.
She is frank to everyone but does not have general knowledge and education.I feel everyone can exploit her behaviours and enjoy sexual desire because she does not who is who ? so I am jealous... When I say her not to be too frank other than our relatives and families because they perceive you differently ,it hurts her.Likewise if she cant change her behaviour it hurts me and she never agree with me but ready to leave me ,but I cant leave her ... indecisive...That 's making me alcohol dependence ..Any ideas and tips from all please !:welcome:
Dixon

[KateH1]

Going to commit suicide

Hi Dixon, First of all, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and Yes, everything is temporary! With that being said, your wife's flirtations and frankness is NOT making you drink. You drink because that is how you deal with life. Or at least, that is how you have dealt with life up until now. Many of us here, including myself finally realized that drinking did not make our problems or heartbrakes go away, in fact, they made everything far worse! The best course you can take is to stop drinking. Can you go to AA? Can you make a plan and stick to it? Truly, The Choice is Yours! If you love this person and your children, truly love them, you will get your life under control and then perhaps you will be able to work on everything else in a rational manner.

Best Wishes to You,
Kate

[dixon]

Going to commit suicide

Thanks Kate,
Because of her flirtation I cant enjoy with her and we become wider each other.I am now AF for 4 days and committed for a long but sleeping in different rooms.If I get a bit of drink I can go with her otherwise I hate her .Either I could leave he or stick with her ??
Please all share your views!!
Dixon

[dixon]

Going to commit suicide

suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and Yes, everything is temporary!


Dont you think the permanent is good ? Kidding now !!!

[janka]

Going to commit suicide

Hi Dixon -- Is it possible for you to accept her "as is" in your heart? Has she ever in reality betrayed you? My ex-husband unjustly accused me of being unfaithful when I never was simply because I was friendlier and more outgoing than I. His accusations made me feel dirty, I only resented him more and more ... I kept my distance to keep peace in the house. Just some thoughts, j

[janka]

Going to commit suicide

Ooops above ... I was friendlier and more outgoing than he (not I).

[dixon]

Going to commit suicide

Janka,

You could be my best help as I want to know the heart of the woman !
-Does woman really hate her long partner in such a case still she knows that he wants her but with some changes in behaviour.
-Does woman want physical sex to other person or any kind of sex like talking ,watching etc. in lifetime as she may wants new taste of sex in lifetime to time as a male likes ?
-I think it is more different here from Asian countries but what happens if someone her husband keep special care at her and wants not to be others at any cost ?
Your PM or sharing in forum is welcome.
Any other members are also welcome for their views.
It seems that I am too complicated man ? isn't it ?
Thanks
Dixon

[janka]

Going to commit suicide

Hi there Dixon -- hope you are feeling better. In response to the above, I'll give a try even though I do not understand some things.
I suspect most women want to stay with their long-term partner as long as they feel safe. loved and nurtured. Positive changes are probably most welcomed.
I doubt that most women (men too) in a satisfying relationship would want to venture out into new (sexual) relationships simply for a "new taste." It should be the case that the husband (wife too) "wants not to be with other at any cost." That's what one would expect in marriage.
You sound more frightened than complicated to me. Make some consistent. positive changes yourself (get sober), be kind and humble. You need to rebuild trust. You will feel better as a better future slowly evolves. Peace, j

[rubywillow]

Going to commit suicide

Dixon, I was only here a few minutes last night, so late to reply.
I have been married 40 years, and during that time, as I am natuarally outgoing, friendly, my husband, and even my father, warned me that some men looked at my friendliness differently than I did. But I am also strong-willed, and recongized quickly when the conversation had strayed out of the normal range, and removed MYSELF from it. It was a problem when we were younger, but it will pass. For a while I blamed my husband's personality, actions, for my drinking. But is a conscious decision to do, and it complicates things even further. I am sober for me, and thank God, my family has benefitted from my decision.
You are from a different society than me I know, but the relationship in private, between a man and a woman, is only wonderful when there is trust, and belief that the one we're with wants absolutely for us to be happy and fulfilled. It has to be a partnership. And it's VERY complicated when we are young!

[dixon]

Going to commit suicide

Janka and Rubby,

Its wonderful to know from you ladies about the relationship of mutual life.Janka , your emphasis to be sober in any condition is really my desire.If I am weak everybody will exploit me and I feel exploited even they don't .Definitely we should not be influenced by any either from alcohol or from any substance abuse to make a rational decision.
I am trying to do so and maintaining 5 days sober that's cause of all of yours inspiration.
Rubby, I am now feeling better and my relationship is going to be united.
The major problem , I shared her everything I don't like her behaviour that's are undigested to her but she doesn't. I am trying to made her felt without saying directly ...so do you have any ideas on this please??
Many thanks,
Dixon

[janka]

Going to commit suicide

Hi again Dixon ... I don't understand your question ... can you please clarify???