a promise to myself

[medic]

a promise to myself

Yeah, eating regularly Janka. I must say, I think there is a depressive element because, my spirits have been low despite abstaining. I do feel physically better in that not feeling hungover way but have not mustered the energy to do things I would normally do even under the influence of alcohol.

Oh well, hopefully it will clear up soon. Thanks for your feedback.

med+c

[MrsB]

a promise to myself

Hi Medic, I found I was absoutely exhausted to begin with. I have now been AF since the 23rd of Nov and my energy levels have got so much better. Stick with it, you're doing great.

[medic]

a promise to myself

Well day three and promise is broken. I can't justify what happened. Somebody gave me some beers for nothing. I told him I didn't want them. He phoned me and told me to remember and taek them. I was so lethargic that I put my brain on the burner and thought that a beer would perk me up.

It did and now I'm three beers in. Sorry MrsB. I never heeded your advice. I guess exhaustion/lethargy has messed with my willpower and logic.

I think I'm going to stop posting for awhile because I feel like a complete phoney attention seeker. I'll pop back on now and then to see how people are doing but I think, personally, MWO is not working for me in the way I hoped it would.

Take care all. I hope you beat your problems quick.

med+c

[medic]

a promise to myself

Sheri,

I appreciate your well wishes. It was perhaps wrong for me to say that MWO hasn't worked for me in your context of having not followed the complete "programme" in terms of my actions. I have always used the message boards as a source of information more than anything and that has been helpful at times.

Having suffered various stages of alcohol abuse since I was 17 I do have a good degree of self-knowledge though and enough to know that certain things prescribed by the "programme" don't work for me personally.

Sheri and anybody reading; I am not saying MWO doesn't work - I am saying it is not working for me right now.

As for many of us there are underlying reasons which MWO will never address in terms of our alcohol abuse. Sometimes it takes a lot more complexity to tackle a subject than a rigid prescription from a website.

I hope I don't come across mean. Guess I'm a bit more f*cked up than some others.

[Brigitte Bardot]

a promise to myself

Hi Medic,

Some people utilize MWO as part of an overall way to help, either incorporate it with AA or SMART or whatever they happen to use. It took a long while for me just being on MWO to become AF and somedays are much harder then others, it's definetely not an overnight fix as you already know. I think any progress is good progress, and you're no more fucked up then anyone else.

I wish you all the best,

[medic]

a promise to myself

Sheri,

I'm not throwing any baby out of any bath water (I did say I wasn't trying to come across mean). I wish well wishers would sometimes use words wisely! Look, don't respond to this. I obviously need to get away from here for awhile.

[Marshy]

a promise to myself

Hi medic,

1. It's a very powerful addiction.
2. It's a time of year when even people who don't drink seem to be drinking, booze is all around, and people even give you the stuff for nothing.

That's a difficult combination. That said, MWO has helped me but in no way was it enough by itself to break my addiction. I tried a whole host of other things, some of which worked, some didn't, including exercise, meditation, AA, counselling, Antabuse, hypnotherapy etc. I'm still doing the things that work for me today.

I'd suggest throwing some other things into the mix to see what helps you and what doesn't - and stick with what helps and drop what doesn't help.

[medic]

a promise to myself

re: I'm not throwing any baby out of any bath water (I did say I wasn't trying to come across mean). I wish well wishers would sometimes use words wisely! Look, don't respond to this. I obviously need to get away from here for awhile.

Sheri,

I do apologise. I misunderstood what you were trying to say. And when I said to not respond to this, I was meaning don't feel obligated as opposed to taking that right away from you.

I think this whole latter part of the thread has been crossed wires and I am truly sorry for any distress caused.

Best regards and luck,
med+c

[mama bear]

a promise to myself

hang in there friend....we are all here for you

[medic]

a promise to myself

Thank you to everybody who read this post. Last night I relapsed yet again and drank a bottle of red wine then 9 beers. I found three beers today and was going to drink them but instead I poured them down the sink.

Always learning and trying again.

AF from 0330 on 04/01/11

[Kimberley]

a promise to myself

Medic well done for trying again - that's what its all about, not giving up on giving up. Hope you don't feel too crappy. Maybe you should go to your GP and get some liver tests done or something?

Anyway I am going to hijack your promise post to make my own. I made this promise to my parents on New years day after a horrendous week of binging. The last time I went sober for a long time I did it because I actually rarely make promises, but I promised them I wouldn't drink for a year and that kept me going. I nearly managed a year then relapsed. Well today its both for me and them:
"I promise I will NEVER drink again NO MATTER WHAT." I am making this promise because I hate breaking promises and I am READY to keep this one. When you are really ready, you will succeed in the end.

K x

[medic]

a promise to myself

Hopefully we can both keep our promises, eh? I agree when you are ready you will succeed.

re: liver tests.

Kimberley, trying to keep the NHS out of my life as much as possible. As far as I'm concerned their a bunch of accountants for the insurance companies and if I really need them I'll go to the A & E. Thanks for your concern though.

[Kimberley]

a promise to myself

To be honest, Medic, I think its a postcode lottery what your NHS services are like - my local hospital is shite and I've had to have friends beg and plead with them in A&E for librium when I'm in withdrawal because they know nothing about it. But my local alcohol service, where I got my liver tests done and got meds prescribed, are pretty good to be fair. I would say if you're worried then use whichever service you think it best - it may be your local alcohol service, who'll just give you a blood test bag and you go to the hosp to get blood drawn then walk out and your GP isn't involved.

Sounds like you already know you've got a few problems going on there anyway, but do go if you get concerned yourself. When I first had my liver checked years ago (when I was worse believe it or not), my levels were through the roof. Now they're not too bad as I'm an on-and-off drinker. Wish I was more off than on though.

And yes, I am keeping my promise. I never break promises to my dear old ma anymore

[medic]

a promise to myself

Kimberley,

I knew we had non-disclosure STD services in the UK but I didn't know there was such a thing as an local anonomous alcohol service. This is interesting.

Should I get a liver test form them? If so what is the point? I mean if I'm screwed there's maybe not much I can do about it. I would really like to know more about what happened when you went to them for a test. I understand you might not want to write about that on this thread and would prefer to maybe PM. Whatever you decide is good.

Thanks for helping me with this new information.

[Kimberley]

a promise to myself

Like i said Medic its a bit of a postcode lottery but you should be able to do a bit of googling for where you live for walk-in services and self-referral services. There should be a list of all the alcohol and drug services in your area that you can refer to for that info. Round my area we have Foundation 66 which is walk-in and there's also 2 other services which are self-referral which are borough specific. So I would think you would have something there, even if not for liver tests, then just for help or support and advice.

With the liver tests, you would just get an idea or where you are with your liver, how bad or ok it is. There isnt much you can do to help your liver except take milk thistle - oh, and stop drinking obviously. But I doubt its totally screwed as the liver does regenerate up until a certain point. I have been an alkie for ten years and at my worst I was drinking a litre and a half of gin a day - and mine still receovered. Mind you I wouldn't recommend testing out that theory! I have hurt my body in other ways - I only have a third of my pancreas left for example. Definitely not worth testing it out - but a liver test might be an incentive to really sort out the drinking if the enzyme levels are bad.