How to let go of the past?

[lil.michelle]

Hi all,
New years eve always makes me sad and depressed. It always brings back the emtions i had when i was younger and went out and socialised at nights. I really miss that but only really ever think about it near new years eve. I don't miss AL just the fun times i used to have. We've all grown up now and have families and jobs ect ect APART from this one friend of mine who goes out whenever he pleases and only around this time of year, i feel ever so jealous...
Is it me being silly?
Does anyone else miss being young and free?
Don't get me wrong, i'd never change what i've got or ever go back to drinking AL, i just, i don't know, feel lonely, boring...

[Doggygirl]

How to let go of the past?

For me, a good antidote to that sort of thinking is to make a gratitude list, and realize how very good I have it. There are blessings all around me in my life. I just need to stop to be grateful for them.

DG

[caysea]

How to let go of the past?

Hi All
We tend to remember and long for what we remember were the good times. When i think of New Years past al was involved. {I never needed New Years like maybe others did. I was having the New Year experience all the time. Getting drunk all the time.}
Now when I think of New Years I see that for all that I thought [at the time] were good times also brought the problems of getting drunk. Arguments with my wife, risking getting a DUI feeling like crap the next day. I don't miss al and what comes along with it. I just enjoyed my third Christmas without al. When I first went AF I thought it would be a drag. I laughed just as much had just as much fun if not more remembered it all and felt great the next day enjoying breakfast with my brother and his family. When you get over the aspect of needing al to socialize which you must to live a sober life you don't have the thoughts that you do now. I look forward to New Years to see friends not drinking buddies and enjoy their company. Not the same as I used to but thats is not what I want to do anymore. I also don't miss it or feel jealous that others can drink and party it is not what I am about now.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[janka]

How to let go of the past?

I agree with DG ... plus I really don't allow myself to think heavily about the past, conjures up bad emotions in me. Instead, I force myself to think of positive things, hopes, wishes, gratitude, etc. Best, j

[lil.michelle]

How to let go of the past?

thanx. I sat here and listed a huge list, my little 8 month is asleep next to me and i keep looking at him, i'm a great mum now.
It's not the missing of AL tho. I don't know, i can't explain. Just hate new years eve.

[janka]

How to let go of the past?

I don't like New Year's Eve either ... it's dangerous! Better for me to be safe at home really. Snuggling and playing with your baby is WAY better than the superficial other celebrations one can get involved with. Take good care of yourself and your precious baby, j

[mylife]

How to let go of the past?

Hi Lil,

I think for a lot of us giving up AL is like giving up a life-long friend. Even if we know it wasn't good for us, we'll still miss it in some ways. But really, like Caysea said, if we clearly remember "the good times" they probably weren't that good or we wouldn't be here, right? One of my problems is I have TOO good of a memory and unfortunately, the bad things I remember so outweigh the good that if I really let myself think about it, there's nothing there to miss.

I'm also starting anew and working to focus as DG said on Gratitude. I actually try to make a list of at least 5 things I'm grateful for each night before bed. It really does help.

Good luck and enjoy your little 8 month! There's a big dose of gratitude right there!

[Lavande]

How to let go of the past?

Here is where I learned the importance of gratitude many years ago. You don't need a membership to do some free reading:

The ToDo Institute: Mindfulness, Procrastination, and Gratitude using Morita and Naikan Therapies

[sunshine_gg]

How to let go of the past?

LilMichele.. I get like that, too. Ever since I moved to North America, anyways.. there's something about friends and family back 'home' celebrating the new year 6 hours ahead of me that always gets me somehow. Where I just feel like I'm missing out.. and long to be there.

However.. as DG said.. there are SO many things HERE that I would never even want to consider giving up and that give me tremendous pleasure and fulfillment all year long... I guess feeling left out this one day isn't so bad

:l Hang in there, honey... you've had a lot on your plate lately but you also have an awful lot to be thankful for :l

[medic]

How to let go of the past?

Hi Lilmich.

re: Is it me being silly? Does anyone else miss being young and free?

I don't think you're being silly unless you think you're missing something by not drinking on this day. I miss being younger of course. I don't have kids so I suppose I feel like I have more time to myself. I think it would be more helpful to think about what you want out of life? Being young and free is about being stupid to a degree and nobody can keep that up.

New Years eve has always been pretty silly (not in a serious way) to me. Why, for instance, should hope be attributed to one particular day a year? Surely life, or aspiring to enjoying our lives better, is an ongoing endeavour in daily life. Personally I like being indoors this time of year, avoiding insincere drunkards and bad weather.

If I was to stay up and see the new year in again it would be much better to have some friends round to watch some of the shows without alcohol and have a good laugh. I've done that enough times. Even if you do want to celebrate, just go out and celebrate. Just try and avoid stinky breath drunk men trying to kiss you (laughs).

If you want to be carefree and silly my advice is join an amateur dramatics class. You can have so much fun in those and act the fool all you want. One of my friend's actually is involved in a comedy group who put on live sketches in clubs and she's not even a professional actor!

[Frequent Traveler]

How to let go of the past?

Wonderful thoughts to ponder, my view is I am grateful for waking up on the green side of the grass. I view the past as a learning issue and try use that for today, today is the only day that I can actually be in control of my actions and tomorrow is not here yet, and the only thing that I can do about tomorrow is be wise and crafty today.
Sure there are things in my past that I wish I could do over, I am not happy that I am getting older and my body has the aging muscles and bone quirks, but I can try and control that by taking care of myself.
I have one child and to him I try and become a role model that he can be proud of.
Hope everyone has a great day today.
FT

[allswell]

How to let go of the past?

Hi Lil,

We all feel what you are thinking at some point or another. The past is what it is, today and the future are all that matter. Those drinking days hopefully will at some point be a distant memory since brighter days are in the future.

Hey Lavande - thanks for mentioning the To Do Institute, it looks like just what I need to balance my plan which is abstinence, fitness, and positive attitude. I just signed up and look forward to alot of reading!

[hillsidetime]

How to let go of the past?

Hi Lilm, for sure I miss those days of being young and going out. I have to be honest, I also miss drinking with my drinking buddies, and I miss going to parties and getting loaded.

The interesting thing I am finding as I log more and more sober time, is that I am starting to have another option to wager against those memories. Going to events and being sober is still fun, but different. Not being hungover is such a blessing, that that in and of itself takes some of the sting out of what "I am missing". I am slowly seeing those days as the old days, another chapter of my life, but I miss them. I miss University, and those friends and fun wild days.

You are not alone with these feelings, it feels good to discuss them,
Hill

[AGUYFROMNC]

How to let go of the past?

Good Post
I sometimes wonder how to let go of the past and it usually ended up me using AL to forget the past. Ive done some stupid things and said stupid things while drunk , but who hasnt right. Just reading old posts and when those cravings call , its always good that I have support on this board. Thanks!

[Unwasted]

How to let go of the past?

Michelle, I think about my "fun" drunken times as pretty phony in the big picture. Yes, there was a yeehaw to them, but they weren't genuine happiness. That comes from a deeper place. Alcohol is a facade that brings out something in us that isn't real.......that "love ya man" thing........where everyone feels like your best friend. Then, the next day, reality sets in. Be thankful for the abundance in your life. You are missing out on nothing genuine, just an inaccurate, unreliable memory........