Just want to extend my thanks to all of you for your courage to fight our disease and for standing up for a better life, for being vulnerable and sharing your life, and especially for your support. I posted that a little back before but those are my notes on alcohol from my personal diary and also from all of you. I hope it will help you as it has helped me. Day 4 for me today and I really intend to continue to enjoy my alcohol free life. Happy New Year. Sincerely, Patrick.
Blast through your denial. See your drinking for the crutch that it really is. Honestly see how it controls you and dominates you, even though you “enjoy” it. Measure your time spent being “happy” while drinking, and notice that you are almost always miserable, but hanging on to happy memories of drinking.
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.*
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do - just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
URGES
Urge surfing is an important and very helpful way to deal with cravings. Every urge, impulse, or craving has a natural progression. It starts at zero, and then suddenly we become aware that the wish, desire, craving, or impulse has arisen in our minds. It can continue to get stronger, once it has arisen. Eventually, it will fade away (so long as we do not give in to it). This is ALWAYS true for any and every craving or impulse.
Sometimes we have the (very false) impression that cravings are SO strong and powerful, that they will never go away and we MUST give in to them. One way to deal with that is to make a conscious effort to step back (mentally) and observe the craving, as if from a slight distance. Ask yourself: what am I thinking, what are the words running through my mind? Where am I feeling this craving in my body? Observe how the sensations and thoughts become uncomfortable; observe what the messages are that you might be telling yourself; and observe how you will soon become distracted, and find that you are thinking about something else... because the craving has faded away.
Once you have done that several times, you will have a different perspective on cravings, and you will be much better able to resist them. And you can always use this method, any time you find yourself struggling, or getting into a mental argument about whether or not you should or could have a drink.
Probably my simplest technique, and one of the most effective: when I realize that I have some thoughts or urges about drinking, I just quietly say to myself: I don't drink.
RANDOM QUOTES
-I see myself waking up the next morning full of pep instead of hungover*
-I see myself growing internally instead of staying stuck in old patterns.
- What I found was that I was becoming stupid with drinking. I wasn't reading, keeping up on what's going on in the world, forgetting things, not taking care of things. I was missing out on things I LOVED TO DO. Now that I'm not drinking, I have time and space for these things.
- Above all read and learn, you will find in no time at all that your mind will have come ALIVE and you will thrive on that feeling. Once the "grey mist" lifts, the sky is the limit.
• Why dont you try focusing on the positives of sobriety? Like all the things you will be able to do when you are not drinking? The reduction of depression symptoms, the stabilization of any mood swings. Try not to focus on what you can't have but what you are getting.*
• Like you I wanted to be able to moderate, I didn't want to think that I could never have a drink again on special occasions, but I had to be honest with myself, deep down I knew that I wasn't able to moderate my drinking and once I accepted this I felt a great sense of release and freedom. Each day without alcohol is a real gift, no hangovers, no feelings of remorse and guilt....
•So, don't let fear of the drudgery keep you from trying - I think you will be pleasantly surprised that after a few days, you find that you enjoy the conversations more....that you are not as bored as you thought you would be.
. I sometimes find myself thinking about having a drink, and whether or not its a good idea. Then I remember what I have gained since giving up:
No more depression
No more dehydration
No more passing out at 8pm
No more weight gain and bloated stomach
No more fat face syndrome
No more hidding from people
No more feeling guilty
No more wasting money on alcohol
You live it without fear that you are slowly killing yourself
You live it without ever having to worry that you might kill someone else by driving drunk
You live it without wondering what you said or did during your blackouts
You live it without drunk dialing, texting, emailing
You live it well
You live it with joy
You live it with self respect.
*I can't count how many times I have made the suggestion to new folks here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of alcohol abuse.*
SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one?
The MWO book, and what we call the MWO program, discuss and recommend a number of elements that have proven very helpful to many, many people who have used them. They include (and I have added a few, based on my own experience and that of many MWO members):
Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful)
Hypnotherapy (you can buy the recordings on the MWO site in the "store")
Meditation (many of us practice meditation)
Dietary supplements (see the MWO book, the "store" here onsite, and the threads here on "Holistic Healing")
A healthy diet, and regular meals
Medication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)
Spending a significant amount of time here at MWO, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your struggles
Going to AA meetings
Changing our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"
Most people do not use ALL elements in this list; but those who are successful tend to use a LOT of them. And we tend to adjust and tweak the elements, as we see what works for us (and for others).
Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.*
Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; we certainly will benefit from coming here and talking about it.*
Making a plan, and following it, is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.*
Merlot, my favorite wine-y friend (ha ha)....*
SO WHAT comes into play when:
- You say it's one bottle, but gradually it goes from 750 ml to 1liter, to (2) 750 ml...
- When you drink your bottle, you drive under the influence
- When you drink, you don't remember what happened the next morning.
- When you drink, you get mean.
- When you drink, you get cry-baby emotional and over-react to every emotion (this one is me )
- When you drink, you want sex, but cannot get it to happen.*
- When you drink, your teeth turn purple (me again!)...*
- When drinking is more important than the person you love.
- When drinking a bottle is more important than the person that loves you.*
IF it's a problem in your relationship, and you are trying to justify its existence, then you should look closely at it.... what if your girlfriend hated seafood and could not stand the smell, but you loved it? Would you still eat it? I'm not trying to trivialize your question, and I'm not picking on you.
But, if your girlfriend doesn't like your drinking, she has a choice too~ she can try to make you stop, but when that doesn't work, she'll either give up, accept it, or leave you.
*
1. Don’t underestimate your disease. Every single person does at first.
2. Take care of yourself spiritually. Be mindful of your connection to your higher power today.
3. Ignore the dismal relapse rates. You are creating your own success.
4. Make a zero tolerance policy with yourself concerning relapse. Don’t even allow your mind to go there.*
5. Avoid fundamentalism, even in recovery. Rigid thinking and dogma can undermine your sobriety.*
6. You are creating a life of recovery and you are responsible for ALL OF IT. Yes, others can help you. Their “help” is mere advice. It is up to you to recover.
7. Don’t confuse enthusiasm for action. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober and then do it.
8. Listen to what the relapsing addicts keep preaching. Then do the opposite.*
9. Take care of your social network. Reach out to others in a meaningful way.*
10. Figure out a way to help other addicts or alcoholics.
11. If you attend 12 step meetings, find one to start chairing. Consider H&I meetings (taking meetings into jails and treatment centers).
12. Use mindfulness and a heightened awareness to overcome ego. Use meditation to overcome self.*
13. Practice forgiveness. Forgive all your past transgressors. Forgive yourself. You must do this to get long term relief from resentment.
14. Be aware of diminishing returns, and spread out your recovery efforts (i.e., don’t focus on just “spiritual” growth).*
15. Rearrange all the furniture in your house. Anything to get through the night sometimes.
16. Clean your house from top to bottom. Same as above.
17. Go for a long walk.
18. Buy a pet and care for it.
19. Eat a gourmet meal.
20. Cook a gourmet meal.
21. Practice the arts. Paint, draw, sculpt, sing, dance. Etc.
22. See a therapist.
23. Work on a puzzle.
24. Connect with someone else who is hurting.
25. Start a project that is bigger than yourself.
26. Revisit an old hobby.
27. Teach someone something. (Anything!)
28. Learn something new each day. (Anything!)
29. Write in a daily journal.
30. Stretch yourself spiritually by suspending disbelief for a day.
31. Write a letter to your addiction where you say farewell to it.
32. Join a recovery forum online.
33. Start a free blog over at blogger.com and tell the world about your progress in recovery. Figure out your own tips on staying sober.
34. Reconnect with your family and spend time with them.
35. Go back to school.
36. Learn a new skill or trade.
37. Sponsor a newcomer.
38. Make a commitment to chair a meeting each week.
39. Celebrate the recovery of a friend.
40. Spend time with your family.
41. Email the spiritual river guy and tell him your problems.
42. Celebrate your clean time with a cake.
43. Write out a gratitude list.
44. Read through your old journal entries and see how much you’ve changed.
45. Try a new form of meditation (or make up your own…there is no “wrong” here). Some of the best tips to stay sober come from within.
46. Write out a to-do list and cross each thing off as you accomplish it.
47. Always have a big goal in the back of your mind that is challenging for you, but would make your day if you met it.
48. Practice balance. Challenge your daily habits.
49. Practice humility. Always be in “learning mode.”*
50. Forgive yourself and move on with your life.*
51. Sit down and write 2 goals out for yourself: one big one and one little one. Keep the paper in your pocket.
52. Inspire someone else to grow. Challenge them to be a better person in some way. Encourage them through your own success.
53. Learn to relax. Find your quiet place of rejuvenation and return to it often.*
54. Elevate your consciousness. Watch your own mind and see how it responds to events. Repeat often. Learn.
55. Find the beauty in life. Appreciate all of it. Be grateful for beauty itself.
56. Ask yourself with each decision: “Is this the healthiest choice for me right now?”*
57. Quit smoking cigarettes already.
58. Be grateful for existence.
59. If you go to the same AA meetings all the time, switch it up and go to a completely new meeting.
60. Write a poem about how you are overcoming addiction.*
61. Turn off your television and read a book. Better: read recovery literature. Best: write your own recovery literature.
62. Use overwhelming force to conquer a goal.
63. Use the Sedona method to release emotions that are holding you back.
64. Write your bucket list. Then, act.
65. Figure out your life purpose.
66. Write out a fourth step and share it with your sponsor.
67. Take care of yourself physically. Exercise. Take a walk. No excuses.*
68. Keep your priorities straight. Physical abstinence is number one. Simple and effective.*
69. Keep a high price on your serenity. Don’t sacrifice it for just anyone and their whims.*
70. Use a sponsor for stage 2 recovery. Let them guide you through holistic living.*
71. Take care of yourself mentally. Go back to school. Get that degree.
72. Find your own path. It is your responsibility to do so.
73. Practice humility and stay teachable. Always be learning.*
74. Go to long term treatment and be done with it. Best decision I ever made.
75. Don’t pin your hopes on a short stay in rehab. It takes more than that.*
76. Call your sponsor.
77. Get a sponsor.
78. Use a zero tolerance policy when it comes to self-pity. Never allow it for yourself ever again. Ever. It is poison.*
79. Read recovery literature.
80. Join a recovery forum.
81. Use outpatient treatment if that works for you. Take it as seriously as possible and connect with the others in your group.*
82. Meditate.
83. Pray.
84. Go out for coffee with a friend in recovery.
85. Find your passion.
86. Work out.
87. Join a church.
88. Volunteer.
89. Take care of yourself emotionally. Don’t get knocked too far off your square.*
90. Stay vigilant against potential relapse. The disease can find many routes (gambling, prescription drugs, sex, etc.).
91. Go to a meeting.*
92. Don’t pin your hopes on long term treatment. It takes a lifetime of learning for alcoholics and recovering drug addicts to recover.*
93. Use long term strategic thinking. Care for yourself, network with others, and pursue conscious growth.
94. Don’t ask “why me?” Instead, ask “how can I create the life I really want now?”*
95. Call a friend in recovery.*
96. Sit down and write out a gratitude list.*
97. Don’t live in fear of relapse. I wasted 5 years on this. Embrace the creative life and know you are strong in recovery.*
98. Get extreme. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober…then double it and add ten. That’s how hard you have to push yourself.*
99. Raise the bar. Stop settling. Use your talents as a gift to the world and make a difference in some way.*
100. Live consciously. Set deliberate goals and go after them with overwhelming force.
101. Embrace the creative life in recovery and live holistically.
What's so wonderful about drinking alcohol anyway?
It destroys our livers and no wonder...
It's ethanol, a volatile, flammable, powerful psychoactive drug also found in themometers, industrial clearners, medicinal wipes and fuel.
It gives us a false sense of courage, peace and happiness.
It makes us do and say stupid, embarrassing, shameful things.
It gives us nasty hangovers.
It causes us to obsess about it until we finally cave and drink compusively, too.
It makes us nutrionally deficient, fat and bloated.
It steals our time, energy and money.
It ruins our ability to maintain positive, nuturing relationships with others.
It makes us terrible role models for our children.
It makes us unproductive employees.
It makes us accident prone and dangerous drivers.
It destroys us emotionally, spiritually and physically.
These are the things about alcohol that I choose to think about now that help to keep me centered in reality. I don't envy normal drinkers because I will never be a normal drinker and don't want to be. Normal drinkers only want 1 or 2 on occasion, I don't and never will. I don't envy the drinkers either because they struggle with all the things listed above to some degree or another and that's not how I want to live anymore. Been there, done that, and just so grateful to finally be sober.
Nope...I don't feel deprived...I feel free!*
Blast through your denial. See your drinking for the crutch that it really is. Honestly see how it controls you and dominates you, even though you “enjoy” it. Measure your time spent being “happy” while drinking, and notice that you are almost always miserable, but hanging on to happy memories of drinking.
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.*
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do - just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
URGES
Urge surfing is an important and very helpful way to deal with cravings. Every urge, impulse, or craving has a natural progression. It starts at zero, and then suddenly we become aware that the wish, desire, craving, or impulse has arisen in our minds. It can continue to get stronger, once it has arisen. Eventually, it will fade away (so long as we do not give in to it). This is ALWAYS true for any and every craving or impulse.
Sometimes we have the (very false) impression that cravings are SO strong and powerful, that they will never go away and we MUST give in to them. One way to deal with that is to make a conscious effort to step back (mentally) and observe the craving, as if from a slight distance. Ask yourself: what am I thinking, what are the words running through my mind? Where am I feeling this craving in my body? Observe how the sensations and thoughts become uncomfortable; observe what the messages are that you might be telling yourself; and observe how you will soon become distracted, and find that you are thinking about something else... because the craving has faded away.
Once you have done that several times, you will have a different perspective on cravings, and you will be much better able to resist them. And you can always use this method, any time you find yourself struggling, or getting into a mental argument about whether or not you should or could have a drink.
Probably my simplest technique, and one of the most effective: when I realize that I have some thoughts or urges about drinking, I just quietly say to myself: I don't drink.
RANDOM QUOTES
-I see myself waking up the next morning full of pep instead of hungover*
-I see myself growing internally instead of staying stuck in old patterns.
- What I found was that I was becoming stupid with drinking. I wasn't reading, keeping up on what's going on in the world, forgetting things, not taking care of things. I was missing out on things I LOVED TO DO. Now that I'm not drinking, I have time and space for these things.
- Above all read and learn, you will find in no time at all that your mind will have come ALIVE and you will thrive on that feeling. Once the "grey mist" lifts, the sky is the limit.
• Why dont you try focusing on the positives of sobriety? Like all the things you will be able to do when you are not drinking? The reduction of depression symptoms, the stabilization of any mood swings. Try not to focus on what you can't have but what you are getting.*
• Like you I wanted to be able to moderate, I didn't want to think that I could never have a drink again on special occasions, but I had to be honest with myself, deep down I knew that I wasn't able to moderate my drinking and once I accepted this I felt a great sense of release and freedom. Each day without alcohol is a real gift, no hangovers, no feelings of remorse and guilt....
•So, don't let fear of the drudgery keep you from trying - I think you will be pleasantly surprised that after a few days, you find that you enjoy the conversations more....that you are not as bored as you thought you would be.
. I sometimes find myself thinking about having a drink, and whether or not its a good idea. Then I remember what I have gained since giving up:
No more depression
No more dehydration
No more passing out at 8pm
No more weight gain and bloated stomach
No more fat face syndrome
No more hidding from people
No more feeling guilty
No more wasting money on alcohol
You live it without fear that you are slowly killing yourself
You live it without ever having to worry that you might kill someone else by driving drunk
You live it without wondering what you said or did during your blackouts
You live it without drunk dialing, texting, emailing
You live it well
You live it with joy
You live it with self respect.
*I can't count how many times I have made the suggestion to new folks here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of alcohol abuse.*
SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one?
The MWO book, and what we call the MWO program, discuss and recommend a number of elements that have proven very helpful to many, many people who have used them. They include (and I have added a few, based on my own experience and that of many MWO members):
Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful)
Hypnotherapy (you can buy the recordings on the MWO site in the "store")
Meditation (many of us practice meditation)
Dietary supplements (see the MWO book, the "store" here onsite, and the threads here on "Holistic Healing")
A healthy diet, and regular meals
Medication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)
Spending a significant amount of time here at MWO, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your struggles
Going to AA meetings
Changing our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"
Most people do not use ALL elements in this list; but those who are successful tend to use a LOT of them. And we tend to adjust and tweak the elements, as we see what works for us (and for others).
Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.*
Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; we certainly will benefit from coming here and talking about it.*
Making a plan, and following it, is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.*
Merlot, my favorite wine-y friend (ha ha)....*
SO WHAT comes into play when:
- You say it's one bottle, but gradually it goes from 750 ml to 1liter, to (2) 750 ml...
- When you drink your bottle, you drive under the influence
- When you drink, you don't remember what happened the next morning.
- When you drink, you get mean.
- When you drink, you get cry-baby emotional and over-react to every emotion (this one is me )
- When you drink, you want sex, but cannot get it to happen.*
- When you drink, your teeth turn purple (me again!)...*
- When drinking is more important than the person you love.
- When drinking a bottle is more important than the person that loves you.*
IF it's a problem in your relationship, and you are trying to justify its existence, then you should look closely at it.... what if your girlfriend hated seafood and could not stand the smell, but you loved it? Would you still eat it? I'm not trying to trivialize your question, and I'm not picking on you.
But, if your girlfriend doesn't like your drinking, she has a choice too~ she can try to make you stop, but when that doesn't work, she'll either give up, accept it, or leave you.
*
1. Don’t underestimate your disease. Every single person does at first.
2. Take care of yourself spiritually. Be mindful of your connection to your higher power today.
3. Ignore the dismal relapse rates. You are creating your own success.
4. Make a zero tolerance policy with yourself concerning relapse. Don’t even allow your mind to go there.*
5. Avoid fundamentalism, even in recovery. Rigid thinking and dogma can undermine your sobriety.*
6. You are creating a life of recovery and you are responsible for ALL OF IT. Yes, others can help you. Their “help” is mere advice. It is up to you to recover.
7. Don’t confuse enthusiasm for action. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober and then do it.
8. Listen to what the relapsing addicts keep preaching. Then do the opposite.*
9. Take care of your social network. Reach out to others in a meaningful way.*
10. Figure out a way to help other addicts or alcoholics.
11. If you attend 12 step meetings, find one to start chairing. Consider H&I meetings (taking meetings into jails and treatment centers).
12. Use mindfulness and a heightened awareness to overcome ego. Use meditation to overcome self.*
13. Practice forgiveness. Forgive all your past transgressors. Forgive yourself. You must do this to get long term relief from resentment.
14. Be aware of diminishing returns, and spread out your recovery efforts (i.e., don’t focus on just “spiritual” growth).*
15. Rearrange all the furniture in your house. Anything to get through the night sometimes.
16. Clean your house from top to bottom. Same as above.
17. Go for a long walk.
18. Buy a pet and care for it.
19. Eat a gourmet meal.
20. Cook a gourmet meal.
21. Practice the arts. Paint, draw, sculpt, sing, dance. Etc.
22. See a therapist.
23. Work on a puzzle.
24. Connect with someone else who is hurting.
25. Start a project that is bigger than yourself.
26. Revisit an old hobby.
27. Teach someone something. (Anything!)
28. Learn something new each day. (Anything!)
29. Write in a daily journal.
30. Stretch yourself spiritually by suspending disbelief for a day.
31. Write a letter to your addiction where you say farewell to it.
32. Join a recovery forum online.
33. Start a free blog over at blogger.com and tell the world about your progress in recovery. Figure out your own tips on staying sober.
34. Reconnect with your family and spend time with them.
35. Go back to school.
36. Learn a new skill or trade.
37. Sponsor a newcomer.
38. Make a commitment to chair a meeting each week.
39. Celebrate the recovery of a friend.
40. Spend time with your family.
41. Email the spiritual river guy and tell him your problems.
42. Celebrate your clean time with a cake.
43. Write out a gratitude list.
44. Read through your old journal entries and see how much you’ve changed.
45. Try a new form of meditation (or make up your own…there is no “wrong” here). Some of the best tips to stay sober come from within.
46. Write out a to-do list and cross each thing off as you accomplish it.
47. Always have a big goal in the back of your mind that is challenging for you, but would make your day if you met it.
48. Practice balance. Challenge your daily habits.
49. Practice humility. Always be in “learning mode.”*
50. Forgive yourself and move on with your life.*
51. Sit down and write 2 goals out for yourself: one big one and one little one. Keep the paper in your pocket.
52. Inspire someone else to grow. Challenge them to be a better person in some way. Encourage them through your own success.
53. Learn to relax. Find your quiet place of rejuvenation and return to it often.*
54. Elevate your consciousness. Watch your own mind and see how it responds to events. Repeat often. Learn.
55. Find the beauty in life. Appreciate all of it. Be grateful for beauty itself.
56. Ask yourself with each decision: “Is this the healthiest choice for me right now?”*
57. Quit smoking cigarettes already.
58. Be grateful for existence.
59. If you go to the same AA meetings all the time, switch it up and go to a completely new meeting.
60. Write a poem about how you are overcoming addiction.*
61. Turn off your television and read a book. Better: read recovery literature. Best: write your own recovery literature.
62. Use overwhelming force to conquer a goal.
63. Use the Sedona method to release emotions that are holding you back.
64. Write your bucket list. Then, act.
65. Figure out your life purpose.
66. Write out a fourth step and share it with your sponsor.
67. Take care of yourself physically. Exercise. Take a walk. No excuses.*
68. Keep your priorities straight. Physical abstinence is number one. Simple and effective.*
69. Keep a high price on your serenity. Don’t sacrifice it for just anyone and their whims.*
70. Use a sponsor for stage 2 recovery. Let them guide you through holistic living.*
71. Take care of yourself mentally. Go back to school. Get that degree.
72. Find your own path. It is your responsibility to do so.
73. Practice humility and stay teachable. Always be learning.*
74. Go to long term treatment and be done with it. Best decision I ever made.
75. Don’t pin your hopes on a short stay in rehab. It takes more than that.*
76. Call your sponsor.
77. Get a sponsor.
78. Use a zero tolerance policy when it comes to self-pity. Never allow it for yourself ever again. Ever. It is poison.*
79. Read recovery literature.
80. Join a recovery forum.
81. Use outpatient treatment if that works for you. Take it as seriously as possible and connect with the others in your group.*
82. Meditate.
83. Pray.
84. Go out for coffee with a friend in recovery.
85. Find your passion.
86. Work out.
87. Join a church.
88. Volunteer.
89. Take care of yourself emotionally. Don’t get knocked too far off your square.*
90. Stay vigilant against potential relapse. The disease can find many routes (gambling, prescription drugs, sex, etc.).
91. Go to a meeting.*
92. Don’t pin your hopes on long term treatment. It takes a lifetime of learning for alcoholics and recovering drug addicts to recover.*
93. Use long term strategic thinking. Care for yourself, network with others, and pursue conscious growth.
94. Don’t ask “why me?” Instead, ask “how can I create the life I really want now?”*
95. Call a friend in recovery.*
96. Sit down and write out a gratitude list.*
97. Don’t live in fear of relapse. I wasted 5 years on this. Embrace the creative life and know you are strong in recovery.*
98. Get extreme. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober…then double it and add ten. That’s how hard you have to push yourself.*
99. Raise the bar. Stop settling. Use your talents as a gift to the world and make a difference in some way.*
100. Live consciously. Set deliberate goals and go after them with overwhelming force.
101. Embrace the creative life in recovery and live holistically.
What's so wonderful about drinking alcohol anyway?
It destroys our livers and no wonder...
It's ethanol, a volatile, flammable, powerful psychoactive drug also found in themometers, industrial clearners, medicinal wipes and fuel.
It gives us a false sense of courage, peace and happiness.
It makes us do and say stupid, embarrassing, shameful things.
It gives us nasty hangovers.
It causes us to obsess about it until we finally cave and drink compusively, too.
It makes us nutrionally deficient, fat and bloated.
It steals our time, energy and money.
It ruins our ability to maintain positive, nuturing relationships with others.
It makes us terrible role models for our children.
It makes us unproductive employees.
It makes us accident prone and dangerous drivers.
It destroys us emotionally, spiritually and physically.
These are the things about alcohol that I choose to think about now that help to keep me centered in reality. I don't envy normal drinkers because I will never be a normal drinker and don't want to be. Normal drinkers only want 1 or 2 on occasion, I don't and never will. I don't envy the drinkers either because they struggle with all the things listed above to some degree or another and that's not how I want to live anymore. Been there, done that, and just so grateful to finally be sober.
Nope...I don't feel deprived...I feel free!*
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