I need new friends to survive 2011...

[Scandinavian]

Sorry for the ranting, I've written some stupid drunk posts here in the past.

Ok now its the start of 2011 and I am drunk as a fish as we say in my country. 500ml Bacardi and Coke, and about 7 beers.



My problem is this:

I have Antabuse, and I want to take it, but when I do, weekends are so extremely boring and gray. All my friends drink and have fun, and being sober in that company is worthless.

I really, really want to eat healthy, go to the gym, feel good and not be hung over between binges. Now I look slightly fat, I feel like crap sometimes etc etc.

Problem is I have no friends that don't drink. I went a self defence class to try to meet sober people, but I could not make any friends as people in my country stick to their cluster when it comes to who you hang with.

I'm so drunk I don't really remember what I am trying to write, but I just really, really want to start a big dose of Antabuse and stick with that for a longer period of time, but I have nothing to do being sober during weekends...

Here is a list:

Drunk:
* Bad conciousness waking up
* Feeling the occational urge to throw up
* Getting fat, loosing muscle
* Feeling good being drunk
* Having good connection with friends
* The occational "feel good" high
* No boredom
* No social anxiety
* Sleep instantly

Sober:
* Waking up feeling really good
* Good workouts
* Gaining muscle, looking better, even in the face
* Sometimes feeling really good just "being alive"
* Getting lots of things done
* Lots of energy during the day
* Not feeling sleepy after work
* Feeling more confident during the day


So this was a long post. I just need some sober friends to be with to dont feel so bored being sober during weekends, but thats not so easy in the 30's when everyones got famlies and kids...

I need to stop whining and get my ass in gear

[choice]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

I like how you are making a list of your feelings about being drunk and sober. I don't like being bored myself and I agree it is hard to meet people in my 30's. I have faith that this will get easier the longer I stick with staying sober. It seams to just get better and better. Good luck to you. :l

[Mish]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

Scandinavian, are there any projects that you have been wanting to get into but AL has prevented you from doing? Since being AF I've been getting into my garden, scanning and saving all my photo albums, spending more time on the boards etc. Is there a craft or sewing project you've been thinking about? If you can find something to capture your interest it will save you from being bored. You have to become your own best friend. Do you have a pet to keep you company? I have a dear little cockateil who loves me and is the best little chum ever. You have heaps of friends here to encourage and support you. Life without Al is indescribeably wonderful if you have the right mindset. Try to change from the 'drinking thinking' to a more positive thought process.
I really wish you well on your journey.

[Zeppie2]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

hiya Scandinavian, if you are truly serious about giving up al, then welcome, it will be tough for the first few weeks, but you can overcome this, eventually you will find that being sober is wonderful, you will look at your friends who are drinking and not even want to join them but be happy being al free and still enjoy your nights out, trust me.

[Nichau]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

Howdy Scandinavian,

I'm spending my first weekend AF in ten years! I agree with the boredom problem. I'm fortunate to be able to 'soundboard' off of my very supportive husband, and most of what I heard myself saying yesterday (Day One) was "I'm SO f*king BORED!"

I, too, am on Antabuse. Have the best doctor I think, in the entire world! Strolled in there and said, "I have a request, and I don't want to hear 'no' for answer" LOL! So here I am, Day Two. This morning I'm feeling good, and calm, but nervous about having some coffee. Really should switch to decaf, but I digress.

I agree with Mishmash?there must be some things that you have been putting off due to Al. I have a TON of them myself. And not all of those are pleasant things to do, either. There is a great book that I listen to on my iPod almost every day called "Eat That Frog" by Brian Tracy. It is available through Amazon and iTunes and has really helped me. (Make sure you get the unabridged version!) Audiobooks really keep the mind off of boredom, while teaching you new coping skills and strategies. Hope you give it a try!

[dill]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

Scandinavian, I completely agree with all the advice given here already. It is important to find ways to fill your time that distract. When I first started quitting I found it helpful to do even little things that were "atypical" for me, or out of my routine, for instance, going to a store I had never been to, or stopping in a park I had always just driven past. I, like Nichau, find my iPod to be a huge benefit. Early on I liked reading or listening to books about others who were going through the struggle. I recommend Drinking: A love Story, and Clapton.

Peace and strength to you.

[brightlite]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

There must be something that interests you? Find a group or other people with similar interests that does not revolve around drinking. Take your sober time to help someone else. The best part is that you are young and can cultivate new sober friends. Yes, your current friends drink and a lot of social situations involve drinking. You will either have to decide to avoid those situations or attend them with a plan. Skip the everyday going to the bar situation. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when you are attending a Christmas Party, New Years Party, Wedding, Anniversary party.....just have a plan and really no one cares if you are drinking or not.

[Scandinavian]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

Its always fun to read stuff I have written but don't remember I must have worked quite hard on the spelling! And thanks for the support. It really really means a lot.


I see two different scenarios for today and tomorrow.

Today:
1. I drink tonight and feel like crap tomorrow at work (90% probability)
2. I take Antabuse tonight and feel great tomorrow both mentally and physically, only tired because of little sleep (10% probability)

Tomorrow:
1. I take only 50mg Antabuse so that I can drink on friday (90% probability)
2. I take 200mg Antabuse and stay sober during the weekend, and as such have great motivation to go for at least two whole weeks sober (10% probability)


The first few days not being hung over are really something special. Its like everything is a little brighter and more beautiful

[Scandinavian]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

Should I go out and buy a huge bag of potatoe chips, candy and coke to keep my mind off of the delicious Bacardi and Coke? Maybe some gourmet-icecream too :drool

[KundaliniGirl]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

Scan, just wanted to welcome you. :welcome:

Water with lots of lemon is great for quelling cravings. Also, L-glutamine if you can get it. It is sold on this website too.

KG

[Mish]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

Rather than get bored or drink as your only choices, find something you're passionate about. Reading the boards here and learning how MWO folks are getting and staying AF is not only a great time filler, but it's also educational. Only you can decide whether to moderate or abstain, but you can make a more informed decision if you look into others' experiences and what does and doesn't work for them.
I know I was in too deep to ever moderate, so I began working on a plan to get AF. It's taken plenty of research time and effort to find the tools that have worked for me.
I'm really glad you started this thread, even if you were drinking at the time. Nobody here is going to judge you. We just all want to help. It was honest and gives us an idea of where you're at. Keep posting, Scan, and we'll do whatever we can to make your journey a little easier.

[choice]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

I think the advice given to you is wonderful! I do like the lists and observations you are making about being drunk and sober. It's a very good start to figuring out what your going to do. Um no, stay away from junk food :H. That combo you mentioned will give you a tummy ache! I think you sound like a fun person who is going to have a ton of fun sober once you give it a chance.

[techie]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

Hello Scan. Looking forward to getting to know you better. I just wanted to give my welcome and support. John

[Sunbeam]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

Hi Scan,
During my initial AF time, I ate a lot of a healthy snack mix: toasted oatmeal, almonds, walnuts, dried cranberries, toasted soy beans, and DARK CHOCOLATE CHIPS!

[EnglishWriter77]

I need new friends to survive 2011...

Hi Scan,

I'm with Kundalini - Water with Lemon is my saving grace at the moment. Try it.

I totally understand where you are coming from with the scenario setting - I used to 'juggle' everything around still being able to have a drink, down to pennies to spend, how much I can 'get away with' at work, etc. Instead try and be single minded - the only scenario is

1) I DO NOT take that first drink.

Let us know how you're getting on.

EW