Feeling weak

[lil.michelle]

2 months sober and yesterday and today i have been having strong cravings and thoughts,many thoughts about drinking. I'm rather tired and feeling a bit low as the holidays are over, hubby is going back to work and i'm returning back to work soon which i am afraid of doing. This is because when i was preggies and had my fall, i was in the Delievery unit (where i work) for ages and i was treated badly by one member of staff, forgotton about and then rumors went round that was kicking off (bullsh**) I was at my lowest, my most vunerable and was treated horribly by some people and now i have to go back and face them all. I hate always being the one to fight through life, having to stand up for myself. I just want to work and come home... that's it. I'll have been off over a year by the time i return. I think i'm just over reacting as AFTER baby was born, many people i worked with visited me but it's going to be hard.I'm tearing up at the thought already. Will i ever have an easy life? I'm on 8 weeks sick due to my back operation then i have 7 weeks holiday to take but after sick i may just suck it up and go back for 2 weeks in the hope that everything will be fine then take holiday so i don't worry about going back during my holiday... does that make sence.

Sorry this is a pointless thread. I'm just feeling really weak willed, cravings and thoughts are getting on top of me. I know i will not drink tho. Ijust can't throw away all i've worked so hard for. I'm just hoping this post will help me feel slighty better.

[mama bear]

Feeling weak

This is not pointless baby. I have committed to taking the L-glut daily as it is said to be great at making cravings go away.....you need to try it.
As far as going back to work, hold your head high and march in there like you own the place. You are working to benefit your family, and I know many times I have had to tell myself that when I am having a horrible day.
You have done so well, and we are all here for you!!! Now go kiss that baby for me!!

[lil.michelle]

Feeling weak

I have 2 babies *lol* But i have done so. You make me smile*lol*

[mylife]

Feeling weak

Morning Lil,

I say you should go in and face them so you can put this fear behind you. You will probably be surprised that the majority of them (most people) are kind and will give you a warm reception. If someone does not, they don't deserve your company.

Have a wonderful day and keep strong! You are doing so well!!

[lil.michelle]

Feeling weak

I will my life. You're right. The worst that will happen is:
1- They are offish with me which frankly, they are anyway as i don't take the shit and bitching a few of the throw out. Also because i work hard when many like to just do nothing much.
2- They might bitch behind my back but again, pretty sure they already were. In the end, i work to live, to provide my family with all they need. I only work 2 days a week anyway (12 hours shifts)
3- I get given all the shity jobs which i don't really mind anyway.
4- They talk to me like Sh**. I ignore it and prove my worth all over again.

A year is a long time and in the end, apart from buzz my buzzer for ages as no one would stop my morphine pump for alarming which was alarming for HOURS (very loudly) and put a message of facebook regarding a horrible midwife which will remain nameless, i've done nothing wrong.

[Wagoneer]

Feeling weak

You are a wonderful strong woman Michelle. Go back and show them what you're made of! You can do this and you can do this SOBER!

[jennyneric]

Feeling weak

Thank you for your honesty and asking for support! That make this thread have a point. . . . we all have thoughts and cravings and maybe someone will suggest something that will make yours better. My suggestion is L-Glutamine! It has worked wonders for me, it also seems to have so anti depressant effects to boot! You can get it at the health food store and its pretty inexpensive.

[Mish]

Feeling weak

Michelle, why are you going back to work? For the society or is it as a means to an end? You are there, basically, to make the money to do the things you want to do in your life. Your work colleagues are not a part of your inner circle so who cares what they think? You know who you are (so do we) so their personal opinions don't really enter into it. Try rethinking and relanguaging your attitude to work. It is what you do to be able to do the things you want to do. Put it in a "compartment" where you can go to work, do your job and not buy into it on an emotional level. Save your energy for the people who really matter in your life and don't let them take away your energy, joy and peace.
It's the best possible revenge and it makes them crazy.