confession

[medic]

confession

I'm sorry to read that happened Spudd. I completely sympathise with you. One early morning a couple of years ago after drinking lots of wine I decided to take an overdose and swallowed a full packet of benadryl. It might as well have been paracetemol. I didn't know or care what the effects would be. I was lucky and was basically stoned for a couple of days, feeling light and sick. It's strange that I thought life was so unbearable in a sober frame of mind when I was probably more in control in that initial frame of mind than when I was drunk.

[Kimberley]

confession

Poor you Spuddle - I can kind of identify. I have attempted suicide about 8 times in my life and on only one occasion was I totally sober. (Luckily these were pretty much a long time ago).

And I have done weird stuff too - I even had one episode where I'd been doing coke and drinking all night and I was convinced that someone had appeared at my door wearing my cat on his head because he'd killed it and made it into a hat (sounds funny to me now but horrendous at the time). I called the police and then wouldn't open the door to them without a massive knife in my hand that they had to convince me to put down. I was convinced that they had come from this strange cat killer and weren't police at all. To this day I have NO IDEA what really happened except that the police definitely did come. It's a very scary thought and I never did that much coke again while drinking.

I hope you can find the right kind of mental health help to stop the bad feelings, but stopping drinking will definitely help you in any case. I used to be on anti-depressants constantly and had samaritans on speed-dial and I'm not on any meds since I stopped the daily drinking. Still working on complete sobriety, but from where I've come from after daily drinking, I can see that sobriety is a much happier place.

All the best and if you feel that way again, call the Sams or Crisis Team please, none of us want a dead duck
K x
ps I don't do mad things anymore either - ill-advised things sometimes but not utterly crazy things I promise

[Accountable for Me]

confession

Chillgirl;1034897 wrote:
Doggygirl used a phrased the other day which I thought was brilliant and that was that "we would love you until you loved yourself", that is one thing we can do for you :l

:l Spuds - I concur to the above. One of the most beautiful gifts of MWO is the kindness and understanding of the people here.

Good for you for reaching out. Be kind to yourself. xoxo

[Rags]

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Hi Spuddle,
What a wonderful, supportive husband you have.
You are playing with a very sharp double edged sword... diabetes and alcohol.
Why not tell your doctor about it. He/she will be able to help from at least the medical side to get your body and metabolism sorted out. That should make it a bit easier for you.

[KundaliniGirl]

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Spuds, just thinking of you. Sending you peace and strength.

xx,
KG

[Laurel74]

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I have so been where you were that night. I tend to cut myself when feeling sad when drinking. I don't cut deep, it's not a suicide thing just wanting to let the pain out. BIG BIG reason why I am here. On day two today and ODAT.