Hi Mads,
that reads like a tough situation. I would recommend a choice then reinforcement. If your wife is having trouble with you new you it's a matter of time before she'll have that trouble because she will start to see you as someone who consistently doesn't drink.
In many ways it can feel comfortable, despite our alcohol issues, to have our significant other be someone who resets your decision to abstain because it lets us off the hook if we want to indulge. It wouldn't be a bad idea to put anybody in their place when they can't accept a choice. I mean it's not wrong to get pissed off.
My girlfriend doesn't know I come here. She can't really relate to alcohol problems; she hardly drinks. I've told her I have problems with alcohol but when I try to explain it more she gets bewildered. Anyway, for me it's not really anything to do with her. The important thing, I think, is for you to create your new way of life without alcohol and kind of ignore anything which threatens that.
It's so important to live for your health and if that means saying to the wife, no I'm not going round to the friends for drinks because I'm an alcoholic, so be it.
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