Army thread -6th Jan

[one2many]

Army thread -6th Jan

Mia was awake at 4am telling me a story about a piece of toast with a sore leg....so she slept on.
The other two went to bed late. so slept on.
I stayed up in bed on the lappy till 2am but then again, I would sleep all day if I could!

[sunshine_gg]

Army thread -6th Jan

:H

Well, good for you. I'm kinda jealous
Ok.. gonna brave mother nature and head outside. Should only take 20 minutes to get dressed... 6 pairs of socks, longjohns, jeans, and snowpants, 2 shirts, one sweater... etc, etc.

Laterz!!!

[spuddleduck]

Army thread -6th Jan

hello army.
mario, you're looking bald n sexy today...... errr wheres me specs
feeling quite pleased with myself. 2 days back at work, no work till monday, big trigger to drink and i have no cravings (yet). only thinking about drink cos im thinking about thinking about not drinking..... that does actually make sense... maybe a bit of punctuation would help

[JackieClaire]

Army thread -6th Jan

Afternoon All.

I am going to start setting me alarm clock so I can get out of me pit in the morning. I only got up this morning cos I needed the loo and I still need a nanna nap.

[Nailz]

Army thread -6th Jan

I was hungover this morning and got out of bed at 9.30, I am meant to be working from home...

very ashamed of myself

It has at least given me the kick up the arse to try and get help today!

[JackieClaire]

Army thread -6th Jan

:yay: Nailz, you made it over here.

Don't worry that we talk a load of nonsense at times but one thing's for sure we take our sobriety deadly serious.

We'll take you into a whole new world of nanna naps, incessant chocolate avoidance and sometimes all we talk about is food.

[one2many]

Army thread -6th Jan

WELCOME to you Nailz!!!!! So glad to have you on board!

[JackieClaire]

Army thread -6th Jan

Off for me nanna nap.
Bacinabit.

[Nailz]

Army thread -6th Jan

Thanks for the welcomes guys!

Do you know I just thought about something, I stayed away in a hotel this week for a night and didnt drink. I know i was more productive etc etc the next day but as soon as I got home I had a drink - Several drinks... a third of a bottle of Jack to be exact... and blamed it on the fact that my missus stresses me out.

Its not her fault its mine I know, but what a terrible state to be in...

[one2many]

Army thread -6th Jan

Hey Nailz,

We know where you are coming from, we have all been there, it's so easy to blame others for our drinking...

There is light at the end of the tunnel and you CAN beat this...just baby steps for the moment and get yourself a plan.
Check out the toolbox thread, loads of info in there and KEEP posting and READING.

We are here too, and are with you every step of the way.

Are you planning an AF night tonight?

[sunshine_gg]

Army thread -6th Jan

Back
:upset: I'z very sad. I've been fighting off the urge to take home this one little kitten from the barn.. she was just SO much smaller and skinnier than all the rest. I promised Mr. Wonderful no more animals... so every day I pretty much had her in my pocket but put her back down. Today I found her dead :upset:

Hi Nailz - you're in excellent hands here with these gals 'n guys

[one2many]

Army thread -6th Jan

Awwhhh Jesus Eggy, ya have me crying here...

[Nailz]

Army thread -6th Jan

I have before, so I know I will again - Thank you for your support.

I am planning an AF night, because there is no time like the present to start, but when I think of doing an AF night my brain comes up with excuses as to why it will be OK to have a drink.... and usually it convinces me.

I dont know what it is, its almost like my mind wont let me commit to not having a drink like I am depriving me of something. QUite scary to think Ive reached this stage again actually...

[one2many]

Army thread -6th Jan

Hey Nailz,

You might find this useful....


I can't count how many times I have made the suggestion to new folks here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of alcohol abuse.

SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one?

The MWO book, and what we call the MWO program, discuss and recommend a number of elements that have proven very helpful to many, many people who have used them. They include (and I have added a few, based on my own experience and that of many MWO members):
Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful)
Hypnotherapy (you can buy the recordings on the MWO site in the "store")
Meditation (many of us practice meditation)
Dietary supplements (see the MWO book, the "store" here onsite, and the threads here on "Holistic Healing")
A healthy diet, and regular meals
Medication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)
Spending a significant amount of time here at MWO, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your struggles
Going to AA meetings
Changing our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"
Most people do not use ALL elements in this list; but those who are successful tend to use a LOT of them. And we tend to adjust and tweak the elements, as we see what works for us (and for others).

Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.

Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; we certainly will benefit from coming here and talking about it.

Making a plan, and following it, is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.

wip

[one2many]

Army thread -6th Jan

This post actually was instrumental in me becoming sober....



This is something I wrote and originally posted elsewhere; I thought it might fit into the "tool box" nicely:

Do You "Deserve" a Drink, Today?

I can't count the number of times I have seen someone come here and write a post in which s/he says that s/he has relapsed, or "slipped," because s/he had been doing well for a while, and decided that s/he "deserved" a drink.

And our alcoholic thinking does this to us. It totally bypasses the memory of the devastation, humiliation, and destruction that alcohol has brought into our lives, and it presents alcohol as a GOOD thing, a prize, a reward, something we want to give ourselves for a job well done.

I wrote a post a few days ago, about this way of thinking, but it was kind of buried in another thread. And I saw people talking about "deserving a drink," again today. What I wrote about was about changing our way of thinking from this self-destructive "Deprivation Mode" to a winning, successful, positive "Gratitude Mode." Here it is:

I don't think we can begin to truly grow into a successful, lifetime, AF plan until we have managed to make the shift in our thinking from the "Deprivation Mode" to the "Gratitude Mode."

In Deprivation Mode, we think alcohol is a good thing that we are being deprived of. We are sad, and grieve the loss of what had felt like a friend to us. We consider it a treat that we never get to give ourselves again. We are envious of others who "get to drink."

In Gratitude Mode, we recognize that alcohol is (for us, because of our brain structure, genetics, physiology, etc.) a toxin, a poison, something that nearly destroyed us. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. We recognize that we have the most amazing opportunity to rid ourselves of something that makes us very sick in all those ways. We recognize the craziness of voluntarily damaging our brains, minds, bodies, families, jobs, futures. We are really, really grateful for that opportunity, and we guard it and cultivate it carefully.

Most of us start a recovery program in deprivation mode. Some people stay there forever. Those people tend not to be able to create a consistently successful program, or life, of freedom from alcohol and its devastation. Some of us transition into gratitude mode.

For most of us, Gratitude Mode does not just happen all by itself. We have to make it happen. If we want to shift into gratitude mode, we learn to cultivate it. We cultivate it by being careful about our thoughts, and about what we notice. If we find ourselves thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a drink, we deliberately shift attention away from this train of thought, and we deliberately choose to think about how good it is to know we will never humiliate ourselves with alcohol again, never again have another horrible hangover, never disappoint our children again with the way we are when we get drunk. We notice alcohol advertising, pay attention to how it makes us feel, and detach from the message by noticing how distorted the message is.

That kind of thing is crucial. We literally can BUILD a new way of thinking and feeling about things. And I think that's something to be grateful for, in itself!

wip