coming clean in treatment

[chartreuse_lily]

I?ve been on anti-depressants (Cymbalta/Prozac/Abilify) since 1995 and back in November I got the brilliant idea that I should get off them. I had my reasons (sexual side-effects, I hadn?t been depressed in 2 years etc) but mainly after 15 years I was fed up with shelling out hundreds of dollars for prescriptions, dealing with clueless mental healthcare providers and uncaring insurance companies. When my physiatrist recommended Weight Watchers to deal with my bulimia I reached saturation. I ended treatment and went off my meds (I tapered, but not a lot) hoping I?d be fine.

Now, two months later, I have become painfully aware that I am not by any means fine. My depression has been snowballing since I went off my meds and has become dehabilitating. About 5 days ago I started taking one of my meds, Prozac, again. It?s helped a little but I really need to get my meds straightened out and to get back into therapy.

I live in a rural area and treatment options are limited. The local hospital won?t take me and of the two private practitioners they recommended one isn?t taking on new patients and the other has yet to return my calls. It?s beginning to look like I?m going to have to return to the Community Mental Health Clinic that I left several months ago. I?m not happy about this, I feel like they offer sub-par care but I guess that?s better than nothing.

Now, I have something to confess. When I was last in treatment I left out a certain crucial bit of information-- that I?m an alcoholic. My reason for this is that I?m afraid they?ll refuse to see me unless I got to their sister clinic for Chemical Dependencies. The problem with that is I worked for the Chemical Dependencies clinic as a secretary for five years (1998-2003) and I know exactly how they operate?they make referrals to AA.

I have tried AA and found it to be very wrong for me.

Yet I wonder, can my depression and eating problems be adequately addressed if I don?t come clean in treatment and own up to my alcoholism? Should I be honest about my drinking problem and risk being refused the mental health treatment I really need?

[caysea]

coming clean in treatment

Hi All

My opinion is the only way out is through being honest, especially with yourself.


Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[Wagoneer]

coming clean in treatment

I have to concur. You need to be completely honest on all fronts - it's the only way you can get the help you truly need.

[JackieClaire]

coming clean in treatment

Couldn't agree more with caysea and Waggers,
I got absolutely nowhere until I was honest with myself and my doctors.

[sapphire1]

coming clean in treatment

Hi there Lily,

I understand your frustraiton with the Mental Health witch doctors. Have you ever given any thought to helping your depression/bulimia with holistic medicine? If after 15 years you didnt recover with drugs, then maybe its time to look at different methods. My son battled psychosis/schizophrenia with all its attendant anxiety/depression for more than eight horrific years. Suicide attempts....medication side effects. He lived in chemical straight jacket and was suffering so much from the tranquilizing and damaging effects of drugs that I took matters into my own hands and sought help from the work of Dr. Abram Hoffer. Google it, there is a fabulous website about his successes with mental illness and alcoholism. He was a friend of Bill W. one of the founders of AA and had Bill on his mega vitamin regime. Its a crying shame that this information is not given higher priority and that doctors even have an inkling about the research. My son has been very well for over a year now and I try to get the word out that we should all take our health into our own hands. Much strength and grace Saff

[chartreuse_lily]

coming clean in treatment

Caysea, Wagoneer and JackieClaire- Thank you for your responses, you are right, I have to be forthcoming if I'm going to get anywhere in treatment. At this point alcoholism is a huge piece of the puzzle that needs to be addresses. I'm just hoping whoever I end up with will be willing to address it in therapy and not try to field me out to AA which I really think is the polar opposite of what I need.

Sapphire1- I had good results from the supplements recommended by the My Way Out program (Kudzu, L-Glutamine) so when I started getting depressed I tried to use supplements for that too. I was taking 5-THP and SAM-e but they didn't seem to have any effect and I finally caved and went back on Prozac. I would love to break the cycle of doctors and medications though.

I have heard of Dr. Hoffer and the B-vitamin treatments he was doing with Bill Wilson (I don't want to go to AA but I know a whole lot about it thanks to my job at the Chemical Dependencies Clinic, a recovering alcoholic ex-boyfriend who attended and my own research on alcoholism and AA alternatives). However I hadn't heard of his method being applied to mental health problems. I'll make a point to look into it.