Be nice to yourself?

[breaking_the_cycle]

Are you nice to yourself?

In what ways can we be nicer to ourselves?

In filling my body up with alcohol toxins relentlessly I was clearly treating myself very unpleasantly.

I also made other self-hating decisions like remaining in relationships or friendships with people who treated me with utter disdain. Even my therapist was a totally fucking weirdo passive-aggressive creature - and I chose to stay with her until recently (I've now left)

Why on earth do some of us actively make choices that we must surely know will and do hurt us???!!!

On a positive note in my own case I've always eaten very healthy - never touched junk food etc even when wasted on booze. So I am capable of making healthy eating choices - I must apply this same attitude to all areas of my life

[rubywillow]

Be nice to yourself?

Break, you're mind is pointed in the right direction. I wish I could tell you why this is so hard to shake, but it's glorified, amplified, made light of on the 'big' screen. And it's hard for us to beleive something bad will come of it when we start.
But stay around here, read the stories, and let me know if I can help.

[Bandit]

Be nice to yourself?

Hi Breaking

No I'm not great at being nice to myself at all..really hard on myself most of the time and really nice to others, most of whom I don't really even know or who don't care about me and I tend to be the meanest to those people who love me the most..my husband and kids cause i tend to take it all out on them

I have to start being nice to myself and putting me and my family first..this starts for me by giving up the booze and not letting people who don't really care about me in the first place to drive me back to it. I have just cancelled such a thing for tomorrow night so that i can go to my second AA meeting

xx

[breaking_the_cycle]

Be nice to yourself?

Bandit;1042903 wrote: Hi Breaking

No I'm not great at being nice to myself at all..really hard on myself most of the time and really nice to others, most of whom I don't really even know or who don't care about me and I tend to be the meanest to those people who love me the most..my husband and kids cause i tend to take it all out on them

I have to start being nice to myself and putting me and my family first..this starts for me by giving up the booze and not letting people who don't really care about me in the first place to drive me back to it. I have just cancelled such a thing for tomorrow night so that i can go to my second AA meeting

xx

Well done Bandit!
x

[Doggygirl]

Be nice to yourself?

Bandit, I became a really mean drunk too in the end. When my husband would say something to me the next day like "you were really mean last night about _________ " I would always find some way to blame HIM for it. It wasn't my drinking that was making me mean, it was the crap other people were "doing to me" making me mean. HA!!! I still have my occassional brain farts, but in general, alcohol made me mean. I'm not nearly so mean any more! And just like you described - the people I love the most are the ones who got the worst of it. Good for you making your sobriety a priority over other social events.

BTC, I have a little daily affirmation I do in front of the mirror every morning. Just positive things I say to myself to help get the day started right. That is something nice I do for myself - recognize my own value as a human being at the beginning of each day.

DG

[rubywillow]

Be nice to yourself?

Bandit, take care of YOURSELF first, OK, hon. We worry about what people think, then realize they don't think about us at all. Love those who love you.

[choice]

Be nice to yourself?

Hi Breaking,

I think your right it is really important to be nicer to ourselves. I feel like I'm being much nicer to myself now that I am sober. I have to catch my breath sometimes on a beautiful day because I'll remember how terrible I was treating myself and didn't care much about life. In fact I use to daydream about death. I hear you on making poor relationship choices and getting hurt. Things have really changed since I became sober. I still have a long ways to go but I feel like I'm making progress. And being nicer to myself is becoming a priority that I am working at too.

I think it's great that you've always made healthy food choices, I for the most part have been like that too. Now more then ever. It feels really good to eat healthy, and I feel like I am nice to myself when I take yoga, go to the gym, and treat myself to a smoothie. These ways of healthy living make me so thankful I'm alive now.

I'm sorry to hear about your therapist letting you down. I've experienced that myself It's really tough. Your doing your best seeking help and when it's not a good fit with the doctor it can be at the very least frusterating. Hopefully not more damaging. Ah, the hoops through recovery! Challenge after challenge. I feel like all of these challenges are hopefully making me stronger.

Take care of yourself Breaking because your worth taking care of, and protect yourself because your worth protecting. :l (Someone told me that and it really helped me) :h

[Change]

Be nice to yourself?

breaking_the_cycle;1042895 wrote: Even my therapist was a totally fucking weirdo passive-aggressive creature - and I chose to stay with her until recently (I've now left)

Lol breaking, love yr attitude!

I swear one therapist i had was actually scared of me. She used to look at me like she was intimidated by me.

I recently made contact with a new one (on the recommendation of my doctor) and due to not liking the sound of her voice, i decided not to use her. And, i think i'd had a brief conversation with her too. I just got the feeling she wasn't in it for the right reasons and i felt that she was a little condescending. She chased me a few times and i could tell she was a little outraged that i didn't just jump to her beat, or give in to her "professionalism".

Finding a therapist is a personal thing. I've ever only found one or two that have been right for me. You have every right to sack them, bugger them, why should they think you 'need' them? It is a two-way thing, and respect should be a two way thing as well.

That is awesome that you thought she was a passive aggressive weirdo. I think most therapists have their own issues...

[Kimberley]

Be nice to yourself?

Gosh Bandit - did you write your post or did I? It's exactly me. Well done on getting down to AA - I have just started too and so far it is brilliant. Good job on prioritising.

Breaking, I think most of us on here would say we haven't been nice or kind to ourselves throughout our lives. Otherwise why would we poison ourselves and put ourselves in compromising, painful and dangerous situations? And all the rest of the bad stuff that comes with it.

I think an important part of recovery is learning to be nice to ourselves. Easier said than done for me, and probably most, but if we can start out simple and little we can do it. Just one small thing every day to start with maybe. I do things like painting my nails or spending an extra 5 minutes in the bath if I want to, treating myself to a nice coffee and treating my body right by taking vitamins.

These are all teeny tiny things compared to what i should be doing. i should also be treating myself nice mentally - like not feeling guilty about things I can not help, giving myself a break when I make mistakes, not being too critical of myself and not getting angry at myself when things go wrong. I am working on that, but it's all baby steps hey.

Start out small - you'll get there,
K x

[allswell]

Be nice to yourself?

My take on therapists is they are a bunch of people that read academically their entire lives, live only in the safety of text books, and now apply the same cookie cutter mentality to each person that meets the "profile". They are outside of their confort zone if they encounter something that hasn't already been documented in some published study or dissertation. In a perfect world they should be paying the patient for having to put up with their condescending advice and superior attitude.

[Change]

Be nice to yourself?

allswell;1043056 wrote: My take on therapists is they are a bunch of people that read academically their entire lives, live only in the safety of text books, and now apply the same cookie cutter mentality to each person that meets the "profile". They are outside of their confort zone if they encounter something that hasn't already been documented in some published study or dissertation. In a perfect world they should be paying the patient for having to put up with their condescending advice and superior attitude.

Lol allswell, gold!

I have only found one person (nearly two, but he annoyed me in the end) who was confrontational enough to handle me. I need somebody who is confrontational, the "what did your parents do to you" stuff doesn't work with me.