I won?t post every time I slip but I thought I was doing so well with the last binge being at xmas time. I wasn?t even craving..or missing the buzz that much, I just got sick of being bored, which I can now identify as my first and foremost major trigger.
I posted about the boredom recently and had some very valuable feedback, most of which was about having renewed interest and quality time with family and friends. I can see the value and importance of this but you see? I have very little of either, sober or drinking. Can?t do much about the family situation but I am also a quiet person by nature who favors autonomous pursuits and wouldn?t normally seek out the company of others (only child)
Being sober has allowed me to be highly productive. I?m so damn organized that anything not nailed down becomes filed, folded or painted over! I study law full time and am one of those annoying students that has everything arranged in alphabetical and chronological order with neat little labels for the assignments finished months in advance but I digress? my point is that after I finish taking care of business in general (which I enjoy), I?m don?t know what to do with myself and the demon creeps in.
I know that in comparison to others, this sounds like small potatoes but it?s becoming my Achilles? heel. In all honesty, I think I just needed to vent because I even had an anxiety attack several days ago through sheer frustration from lack of meaningful purpose. This is not going to be as easy as just taking another hobby.
I?ve just read Olivier Ameissen's book and wonder if Baclofen might be an avenue, as he speaks about the ? complete suppression? and becoming completely indifferent to Al.
Anyways..that's my humble whinge for the day and request for a polite kick up the bum.
My support and positive vibes go out to all
P.S that binge kept me awake for 24 hours!
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