I want to divorce my entire family...

[breaking_the_cycle]

I want to divorce my entire family...

sunshinedaisies;1048405 wrote: Breaking, I think you have done an absolutely awesome job getting where you are today from where you were. Just incredible. Do you have friends now that you go out with - that accept you as you are and treat you with respect? You sound as if you have a good head on your shoulders and finding a new therapist was good too - have you talked to him/her about your family situation? I am in awe of you and what you have accomplished and want you to know that for whatever reason, your family can't see it - don't want to see it - some people just drag you down - you know when you are around someone who is in a bad mood all the time, and it just wears on you?? I second the others here and say just stay away from them - you don't need to tell them such - just don't be around them - you say they don't invite you to things anyway. you will be happier and by the sounds of it so will they. Huge hugs to you, Hang in there,

Love, Sun xx

What a lovely message! Thanks. Well I have a mix of friends. Some of them (at the moment, the minority) are absolutely wonderful, supportive, positive, fun, healthy and really care about me. Others are more like my family and very critical, unreliable and drag me down.

It's funny even as a young teen I was very interested in health food stores and complementary medicine etc. My idea of bliss was to browse or shop in health food stores My family used to laugh at me and call me an idiot and say health food is bad for you. In adult life I attracted friends and partners who'd also laugh at the concept of eating healthy food or taking supplements. I was hanging out with one of my newer, positive friends the other day and I told her in a very small embarassed voice I just had to pop into the health food store real quick (I was expecting her to laugh at me or chastise me and call me stupid or a weirdo for going there) - instead she actually loved it and said she loves how I always introduce her to "really cool places". I was so shocked and happy. I think she bought more in that health food store than I did, she was so into it lol

[rubywillow]

I want to divorce my entire family...

That's a wonderful affirmation, Cycle, that you're on the right path. Not everyone laughs at good.

[RudyB]

I want to divorce my entire family...

wow, btc,
you're impressive to have come from whom you did and emerged as a level-headed, expansive, and sober soul. just yesterday i was imagining that i had a really terrible life filled with awful people and family. i immediately thought, 'gosh, i would surely not have the resolve to stay sober under those circumstances.' i can't imagine the challenges you must have had. are having. good for you! and i'm with everybody else, get rid of them. sounds like you are, in the most important ways.
i'm always glad to read your posts. keep getting stronger~ you will!
xo rudy

[Mish]

I want to divorce my entire family...

I now fully appreciate just how deeply your usernasme "Breaking The Cycle" applies. You surely have done just that, and I admire and respect you more than ever for the way you have risen out of the mire of such a toxic background to become a truly inspiring woman. The word "inspiring" is pretty much overused these days, but as far as I'm concerned, you fit the bill perfectly.
I think everyone has covered what I had to say...leaving toxic family and friends behind and chosing relationships which build you up rather than tear you down is so obviously what you deserve.
Would you knowingly go back time and time again to drink poison? Of course not, and that's what those family members and friends have been for you. Have you read any of Harriet Lerner's books? I read "The Dance of Anger" and applied the principles in my own relationship with my mother and it has put an end to decades of issues between us. My situation is quite different in that I come from a family of very high achievers, but the principles are much the same when dealing with critical people.
Once again, my sincere congratulations on breaking such a negative cycle to become such a self aware, motivated, articulate and amazingly strong woman. I'm short of adjectives in your case, which isn't like me...

[Rags]

I want to divorce my entire family...

Geez,
If I was in your position I'd be breaking the cycle and distancing myself from them.
No -one seems to have any love, affection, or respect for you or anyone else.
Why keep going back to it?
You have the education and money to break free and rise to what you want to achieve. I don't understand why you are allowing yourself to stay with such people who have sexually, physically and mentally abused you?
Would they care if they never saw you again?
What is their hold on you that you don't break free?

[breaking_the_cycle]

I want to divorce my entire family...

Rags;1048638 wrote: Geez,
If I was in your position I'd be breaking the cycle and distancing myself from them.
No -one seems to have any love, affection, or respect for you or anyone else.
Why keep going back to it?
You have the education and money to break free and rise to what you want to achieve. I don't understand why you are allowing yourself to stay with such people who have sexually, physically and mentally abused you?
Would they care if they never saw you again?
What is their hold on you that you don't break free?

It may be logical to basically tell such awful people to fuck off and have no more to do with them. But if it were that simple to just walk away in practice, there wouldn't be so many people who remain in abusive relationships.

[Rags]

I want to divorce my entire family...

Point taken, and as you say in your last sentence of your thread opener " I'm rather enjoying my own life."__________________