I woke feeling worse than yesterday. Actually thought of having a glass of wine at 8 a.m. whichi is insane and has NEVER happened to me. wanted it to fall asleep and not wake for a while. which is why I thought of wine on an empty stomach) I hate myself and I hate my life. Thanks to all of you-- I am not going to do anything rash but I hope my psychiatrist from years back will check me into Ridgewood ( a rehab palce) for anxiety at least- I just cannot be like this with my child-- I love him too much-- I can't do it alone-- and for that, I feel liek even more of a failure. My family are achievers. I was an achiever-- top of class at a 20,000 person university (as in number one of all of the students), top 10 per cent in law school, top firm for years (until I got cancer), firm wanted me to stay and be a partner though I hated it, picked to be in a couple of photo shoots just for hanging around a Alabama football game and being seen so not bad looking, beat cancer-- and now-- laid low, ftat gross and sad, -- and I do not know why. So sorry-- I know you all have nothing invested in me but I really appreciate you all and the kind words you have said
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ATLT - i really wish you much strength for rehab and im glad you are getting this help. All these things you achieved are wonderful and that person is still in there, you just need to let go of the AL and let them re-emerge. You have so many wonderful possibilites and a son you love. Sending you special positive Chill vibes and a huge hug :l"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
AF - JAN 1st 2010
NF - May 1996 -
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Oh ATL, I wish you the very best. Depression can be a beast worse than alcohol. Please know that you are doing the right thing. And we will be here for you whenever you need us.February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h
When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!Comment
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Ditto everything that Wagon and Chill says. I think you are being very wise. Be gentle with yourself - like Chill says, all that good stuff is still there - just doesn't seem like that to you at the moment.
Sending major hugs:l:l:l, and if you want to or can, dip in and out here if you want a shoulder to cry on or whatever. We are here for you - reckon none of us are going anywhere
Mind yourself
MollyContentedly sober since 27/12/2011
contentedly NF since 8/04/14
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Take care ATLComment
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Good for you ALT for taking the necessary steps, hope it all goes well ...take care :lLearn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.Comment
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love and strength sweetieI love my family more than alcohol.:h
Live in the Solution....not the problemComment
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Good for you for asking for help....you're right...sometimes we just can't do it alone.
Hugs, sweetie.:lLive simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.Comment
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I am going to go to the facility-- they have room starting Tuesday-- anything to get working on things will be good-- I just hope my son will forgive me for not being the best I could be in the past--he is a sweet and kind little boy and I am concerned about what to say-- when is sitter had to go to the hospital for a minor illness he thought she was going to die-- I will have to ponder what to say.Comment
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ATLT - I know this is so hard for you and you son but just think how wonderful it will be when he gets his happy sober mum back! Hold that thought and think of all the great times ahead for you both."In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
AF - JAN 1st 2010
NF - May 1996Comment
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ATL, I really applaud you for have the courage to do whatever it takes to get well. A saying I really like is "we are not bad people trying to get good, we are sick people trying to get well." Seeking treatment is seeking wellness. What greater gift could you possibly seek for your children?
I hope you find the keys to your sober life at rehab. NEVER GIVE UP.
DGSobriety Date = 5/22/08
Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07
One day at a time.
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ATL, I completely ecco what Sheri has said. This is indeed a courageous act of love and courage for you and your son and the future for both of you.Sheri;1053989 wrote: Hi Alt,
I'm so sorry that you're struggling and hope that you are able to find the help you need in rehab. For whatever it's worth, I think that what you are doing and your willingness to do whatever it takes to make yourself better shows so much courage and strength and how much you love your son. There's no shame is reaching out for help. We're not meant to do this alone and we don't have to. Please try not to be so hard on yourself and view this as a wonderful new growth opporutnity that will lead you to a better place than where you are now.
Sheri
Have you thought about having a conversation in regards to how to talk to your son about this, with one of the counselors at the center where you will be going? No doubt this is something that hey have dealt with many times and could be of help to you.
Best Wishes to you!
KateA Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella
AF 12/6/2007Comment
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Atl,
Peace and strength to you! You are brave and courageous for taking this step. Your son is lucky to have a mom like you. I will keep you in my prayers!
Look forward to see you soon!'Breakfast, every hour, it could save the world.' Tori Amos
"Turn a stumbling block into a stepping stone."
AF since 23rd December 2010 - progession is paramount! :truce:
"don't be sad because it's over, smile because it happened!"Comment
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Alt,
Love all the great comments made.
You are taking positive steps for your future and showing so much love for your son by seeking help!
All the best!
SGComment
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