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**JackieClaire** · February 9, 2011, 07:44 PM

back again needing a bit of motivation

Just wanted to say :welcome: back patrice.

Haven't got any words of wisdom for you at the moment, hun, as it's way after midnight here and I'm a bit tired.

J x
:l

**Rags** · February 9, 2011, 08:01 PM

back again needing a bit of motivation

Hi there Pat,
Welcome back.
Ahhh the land of the long lost vowel.... lovely place. North or South island?

Do you think things would be better for you if you were able to get some part time work? It would get you out of the house, you'd meet new people. Could be the little boost you need. Have you thought about talking to a local doctor?
Maybe looking at all the unpacking and so on is overwhelming you. What if you set yourself to do just one task a day, but make it something you know you can manage without stressing yourself out..
When you're ready, pop into the Undies thread. We have a couple of New Zealanders there.

**RudyB** · February 9, 2011, 08:11 PM

back again needing a bit of motivation

hi patrice,
have you checked out the motivation thread? i just posted there and it felt really good. in short, my son is my big motivation. you say you have a child. do you ever regret your drinking as it affects him? i used to SOO much. now, every day is a blessing, no matter how greuling, as i experience every moment and don't stew in guilt about how much better i could be as his mother. i dont' think a negatiev focus is helpful. i recommend you focus on how much better you feel when you're not drinking. every once in a while i let my mind toy with drinking and, miraculously, the temptation is tiny, because the buzz of al doesn't hold a candle to the joy i feel again in being alive and sober. i hope the same for you. and i agree with Rags. maybe some part time work would help. something to get you involved with people and events. i have found that the busier i am, the more i get done. sounds obvious, but when i was drinking and with time on my hands, say last summer, i didn't get much done, not nearly what i do now that i'm busy busy busy (and sober).
good luck to you. you will get sober if it's what you truly desire. see it happening.
rudy

**patrice** · February 9, 2011, 09:52 PM

back again needing a bit of motivation

Thanks - yes keeping busy is good isn't it?
I think one thing a day is a good idea - its just prioritising what
thanks

**techie** · February 9, 2011, 10:53 PM

back again needing a bit of motivation

I'm so happy to see you back here Patrice. ODAT is the mindset. Get back to that good space you were in AF. Stick close here. Talk to you soon. John xx

**patrice** · February 9, 2011, 11:03 PM

back again needing a bit of motivation

Thanks John
Its good to be back in the fold - the mindset sure needs a change but I do remember how good I felt
starting tomorrow (yes all planned..)
Amazing how 6 months of oblivion can go by - day to day life must have been taken care of - but not sure how (osmosis maybe)
Pretty soon i may even be up for that scary boot camp shit
xx

**techie** · February 9, 2011, 11:33 PM

back again needing a bit of motivation

patrice;1057357 wrote: Thanks John
Its good to be back in the fold - the mindset sure needs a change but I do remember how good I felt
starting tomorrow (yes all planned..)
Amazing how 6 months of oblivion can go by - day to day life must have been taken care of - but not sure how (osmosis maybe)
Pretty soon i may even be up for that scary boot camp shit
xx

You let me know when!? Attached files [img]/converted_files/1501446=5823-attachment.jpg[/img]

**byebyebridgetjones** · February 9, 2011, 11:54 PM

back again needing a bit of motivation

Hi Patrice,
I remember seeing you around here.
I've had the same experience.
I'll give up drinking when I.....move house, change my hair colour, next Tuesday.......
Nice if it works, but it never has for me.
You just have to find the strength and plough through.
Welcome back.
Bridget.

**mauritiusdodo** · February 10, 2011, 12:55 AM

back again needing a bit of motivation

Hi Patrice, I agree use your son as motivation, get those boxes unpacked and your life will feel more organised, IMHO it is important to have your living space tidy in order to sort out what is going on in your head, do it for him first and foremost then you can get your life in order

Also, dunno if this will help you at all but I try and think of reasons to be cheerful when I feel in despair - yours could be you live in beautiful New Zealand instead of the grotty old North of England I have to put up with :H

Take care and best of luck, look forward to seeing you around the forum

**Miss Behaving** · February 10, 2011, 03:05 AM

back again needing a bit of motivation

patrice;1057276 wrote:
Oh dear back to the start line... but I just keep not starting
Any motivational wisdom would be great

Damn those movable start lines!! :H Hand cuff it to a post, nail it down, tie weights on it ......

No great motivational wisdom here, but good luck for tomorrow! We're all here if you need it, and a few Undies (see "Underoos and Associates" thread) pop on and off during the day if you need to talk to someone in your time zone.

and PS - welcome home

**patrice** · February 10, 2011, 05:30 AM

back again needing a bit of motivation

oh thank you all- I feel suitably embraced and back in a caring place
but I don't understand how I stopped for 2 months and then back to the darkness.. for 6 months.. shit a long time and that beast again snookered me in my tracks...slowly, surely and almost deadly
I'm grateful for this space
And I will be here for everyone else, thats a given
Thanks for being here with me and not judging
xx Patrice

**gyco** · February 10, 2011, 06:27 AM

back again needing a bit of motivation

hi patrice, it s a long journey,one way or the other,but isnt it nice to know you have a second home to come to any time.you could go to other places and be chastised for error in judgement,i believe talking about whats going on in one s life 1st,is the best medicine.took me years to figure that out.then the rest is in your hands.we know when we beat ourselves up,i wish you well gyco

**Doggygirl** · February 10, 2011, 07:29 PM

back again needing a bit of motivation

Hi Patrice and welcome back. I can relate to so much of what you described. You are not alone. Throughout my (long) drinking career, I made several big geographic moves thinking that my "problem" was something other than alcohol, and that by moving I would leave the "problem" behind. That never worked for me either. Wherever I went, my "problem" followed. I finally had to accept it was AL all along.

I took some degree of comfort in learning that this idea that a geographic change will stop the drinking is not a new idea. Many people have thought this for many years. We are not alone.

I too went AF with the help of the My Way Out program for 60 days, and then drank again. I realized pretty quickly what a mistake that was for me, but I REALLY struggled to get back on the wagon. It took me 8 months to finally get sober again.

So....I hope you too can make this a long term shot! It must be nice not having to get deliveries in the washing machine any more, eh?

Welcome back. Strength and hope to you,

DG

**patrice** · February 10, 2011, 10:29 PM

back again needing a bit of motivation

Hi
Thanks DG for the comments - you always were an inspiration for me -and honest.. Yes here in nz, washing machines are used for washing clothes not for booze deliveries!!

Maybe someone can explain to me why after being AF for 2 months - I went straight back on it for 6 months... I have made so many excuses to myself, for example:

Stressed because packing and leaving Asia where I had been for 3 years....
Having to settle in a country I hadnt lived in for 20 years...
Getting my son into a new school.....his first year
Being back in in a country where the wine is cheap and good quality......
Many many more excuses becoming ever more lame....
Yesterdays one was to buy a bottle of red wine to cook a lovely rich bolognaise sauce.... of course only a tablespoon went into the sauce, the other 745ml was soon down my throat... sad thing is, I didnt even get to taste the bolognaise because I can never eat after I have been drinking

Yes of course, I knew in my heart that by moving back to be closer to family and friends would not stop my drinking issues... but I pretended it would ( although it IS good to be back amonst close people and I think it will be helpful, however most of my friends and family have no idea about the extent of my drinking because I have been overseas for so long... therefore, easy to hide it)

I'm not sure but I think this time around I am not going to dream of moderating... I think it has to be ODAT and keeping busy and nutrition.. unlike some people - I have the opposite effect when I am drinking heavily, the weight just flows off because I don't really eat... but that is just as unhealthy as piling on weight because I feel thin and weak ( after 40, that thin scrawny saggy look is very aging!!)

So any further ideas would be so welcome....

This site and the people on it were so so important to me during my pre AF and AF time and I found that after a while I could be of help and support to others as well... which i never thought i could..but it is great to find emapthy and be able to be sling it right back..and know that it makes a difference..

So, i am willing myself strength and to everyone here as well.

Take care
Patrice

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