once a week

[spuddleduck]

most people will think this is a ridiculous idea but im putting it out here just to let you know what im doing and why.
ive not been doing very well at sobriety lately, sometimes drinking once a week and slipped into drinking twice a week.... always to excess/binging. im now giving myself 'permission' to drink once a week on a set day. i have a few rules with this. no spirits, no more than 3 drinks out in public (to save the shame and embaressment of what i may do) and always with mr spuds.
im very aware of the pitfalls of this route. im not allowing myself to think of it as a reward for not drinking for a week. more as an evil that i need to do at the moment. the positive is that that im finding is that im learning to surf the urges rather than give in to them. if i want a drink on a different day i will not give in. its not the day that i drink. ive been doing it for 3 weeks and so far its working and giving me small positives in the resisting on days other than the specified day. i still drink too fast and too much. i dont feel im white knuckling the sober days, i actually feel a little bit in control which is a start.
this isnt intended to be a long term thing as its still very damaging but what i have been doing the past few months hasnt been working so im trying something different.
please dont slate me for this as i know its not really the most sensible of options. ill keep you posted .

[Rusty]

once a week

Spuddleduck,

Hi there, friend! Have you tried any of the meds....Antabuse, Baclofen, Naltrexone? Why not make it easier on yourself rather than struggling. You must be in agony.

[spuddleduck]

once a week

rusty, i was on campral for about 10 months and although i had 3 months sober early on i didnt really feel that the campral helped.i take l-glut daily. im still looking into other meds... obviously bac is the biggy here. so many have had great success on it. im really nervous about taking stuff without my docs supervision as im diabetic. having said that i havent actually talked to the doc about other meds so im not really in a position to moan about that. (yes perhaps i should do the obvious and go see him). thanks,

[Sunbeam]

once a week

I think a lot of people cut back slowly, though their intent may have been AF. What's important is that you are trying a different strategy, not just continuing to fail at a strategy that isn't working. Failure is discouraging, and I believe leads some to give up trying.

[Guest]

once a week

Spuds

All I can do is speak from personal experience. Like you I've tried all sorts of things and I've sometimes tried just keeping it to one day a week, or just at weekends. The thing is that I was always told "if you have to have rules then it's a sign you have a problem". By that I mean someone who hasn't a problem won't need to set those rules in the first place. The other thing is about the types of drinks. Many alcoholics go through stages where they say "I'll only drink lite beers, no spirits". At the end of the day it's still booze. I spent on Christmas on cheap, 2% beer or shandy. Within weeks I was back onto my ciders and wines. I also found myself 'forcing' as much of the weak liquid into my body without realising it. Indeed recently when I went through my Alcohopop phase(please never try that one, with your diabetes it'll severely muck you up!) I was getting through 8 sometimes 10 litres of the stuff on a daily basis. When I looked it was only 2.8% and I am convinced I was chugging away so much because I wanted a bigger 'hit'. 10 litres of any fluid just isn't normal for anyone.

So approach this with extreme caution and treat it as a learning exercise. Last autumn during my relapsing I had one evening where I drank for a few hours, and it didn't really affect the following day. This was after a week or so of complete sobriety, and so my then boyfriend suggested perhaps once in a blue moon that would be ok, maybe going for complete abstenance was stressing me out or setting me up for failure. This idea I'm afraid only encouraged me to "allow" myself futher relapses until they just all joined together again eventually.

You need to find what works for you, but be very very careful about denial. Denial comes in all shapes and forms, including "permission" as well as "rules". What I do know is that all sober days are practice for the real thing.

By the way I mentioned Naltrexone to you, I've not much knowledge about it but I think it's something you can take before you drink. The idea is that it spoils the feeling you get so you don't carry on drinking. Might be something to try in the meantime firstly to control your binges, and secondly to remove the 'reward' feeling you get from the alcohol. Worth a thought.

[spuddleduck]

once a week

uk, i totally agree with your words of warning. im very concious of not letting myself feel im rewarding myself cos its a dangerous road to go down. and i certainly am not taking this as a long term plan for obvious reasons. i agree wholeheartedly about the rules being a sure sign that there is a problem and i can in no way deny i have a bloody great problem. i actually started giving myself rules years before i realized i had a real problem. i would drink beer because i didnt really like it... then got a taste for it so would drink something else. and so it goes. the trouble with me and spirits is that i make vodka taste nice by put nice tasting cordials in it and drink it as fast as i would drink a beer.
the only thing that i am getting out of this is a help in getting through cravings on the other sober days. im hopimg i can then use this control later to help me take a more sustainable route which im sure is an abstinent one. im so pleased to see your success with bac. perhaps that will be the way for me if i ever get the balls to take it. thanks for your input

[lil.michelle]

once a week

Hi hunni, I'm a great believer in doing what works for you. Well done for being strong and not breaking your rules! Good luck and keep being strong!

[Mish]

once a week

Hi Spuds...I'm never going to 'slate' you or anyone for trying something different. As was suggested, it's better than keeping on doing the things that simply don't work. I'm not saying what you're doing is great or that it's going to be the answer, which you acknowledge yourself, but you're not giving up altogether, and that's what matters. Great job, and especially on taking on board the warnings from everyone else which you also acknowledge are justified.
Spuds, I'm a Baclofen success story. It was 'the silver bullet' for me which killed the desire for alcohol completely. Naltrexone is good, too, as it takes away the 'buzz' or 'hit' you get from drinking, although I believe you have to take it daily for long term effects like Bac. I don't think just one tablet will help much at all...please, please see your doctor before taking any meds, and please look into Bac. I did heaps of research and this forum provides you with some of the best info there is to be had. Please PM me if you want any further info, and best wishes always.

[fennel]

once a week

spuddleduck;1058704 wrote: rusty, i was on campral for about 10 months and although i had 3 months sober early on i didnt really feel that the campral helped.i take l-glut daily. im still looking into other meds... obviously bac is the biggy here. so many have had great success on it. im really nervous about taking stuff without my docs supervision as im diabetic. having said that i havent actually talked to the doc about other meds so im not really in a position to moan about that. (yes perhaps i should do the obvious and go see him). thanks,

Spuds, does your doctor know how much you're drinking? Drinking while diabetic is a pretty risky thing to do...would you consider antabuse? That will remove the choice from you.

[spuddleduck]

once a week

hi fennel, yes my doc know how much i drink. i told him everything just about a year ago and i have actually cut down loads since then. o yes do i know diabetes and drinking dont mix. my main problem is forgetting to take my insulin when i drink but fortunately mr spuds keeps an eye open for that. when i was first diagnosed with diabetes i was told not to drink more than 2 units, so i didnt for 6 months, then i 'accidently' got drunk and lived to tell the tale, and after that thought.. ah what the heck, of course i can drink. talk about burying my head in the sand.

[spuddleduck]

once a week

RUBBISH PLAN IT DIDNT WORK.
quick pop in before i drink too much. this is not the planned drinking night. i have had 2 cans of beer now and am prob gonna carry on till i stop. all i can say is i tried it, i thought it was working but 3 weeks in it is most definately not. im glad i put it out here as another attempt.
sheri, the accidental getting drunk was just drinking a bit more than the allocated allowed for diabetics., yep ok, not accidental but that was how i saw it.
tonight while drinking i made a lovely pie... hmmmmmm (call me homer simpson) finally confessed to mr spuds that i was drinking and now we are talking about finding a way out.
THANKS GUYS FOR YOUR INPUT ON THIS THREAD/EFFORT. IT HAS NOT WORKED.

now on to something else...........

[Guest]

once a week

Aw Spuds, at least you have a supportive partner who you can talk to.

[Judestir]

once a week

I hope you and Mr. Spud come up with a good plan! Just keep on trying and you will get there!

[Doggygirl]

once a week

Spuds, definitely keep trying. The only way to fail is to quit.

Please do not feel bad personally because this "rule making" surrounding continued drinking didn't work. There is lot of history with lots of people to suggest that if we are too far gone (which I am, and many of us are) that we CANNOT control it. All the rule making in the world isn't going to work. My point is that you are not alone - far from it.

Don't give up. Make another plan.

DG

[Guest]

once a week

DG

This was my feeling too and is often referred to in a roundabout way in AA literature. I know many eschew AA but so much of what they say is true, even if we don't agree with their methodology.