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Hole in my life

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    Hole in my life

    I guess kicking the booze has made me realize that there is a gaping emptiness which alcohol was used to fill. But it didn't fill the hole. It deadened the pain and caused the emptiness to grow into self doubt, self criticism and then depression. I have been and still am looking for answers. I was christened a catholic and raised church of England but organized religion leaves me cold. This week I have been reading into buddhist philosophy. The teachings are very much akin to cognitive behavioural therapy. It is interesting and I feel I will investigate further. George Harrison was no fool and took a lot of ridicule for his spiritual journey. Anyone else found inspiration they could share? My life is clearly missing something if I needed to drink to oblivion every day.
    Last drink 6th September 2013

    #2
    Hole in my life

    No i haven't but i too am looking into the buddhist philosophy.

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      #3
      Hole in my life

      Suggestions

      I found thebigview.com - Pondering the Big Questions and Access to Insight quite interesting. There is a lot about renouncing fear by letting go of desires which feed the mind.
      Last drink 6th September 2013

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        #4
        Hole in my life

        I found that picking up things I had loved doing when I was 'normal' and couldn't muster the energy for when drinking really helped. For me, that has been gardening. I'm loving seeing my garden being transformed a little each day and I'm getting fitter and stronger and more toned than I've been in years. I'm starving with the effort and am eating wonderfully well, feeding my body and brain and taking pride in my personal appearance.
        Becoming AF means much more than stopping drinking. Find your 'passion' and throw yourself into it. It's really key in getting well.
        :h Mish :h
        sigpic
        Never give up...
        GET UP!!!

        AF since 25th November, 2011

        What might have been is an abstraction
        Remaining a perpetual possibility
        Only in a world of speculation.
        What might have been and what has been
        Point to one end, which is always present. T.S. Eliot

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          #5
          Hole in my life

          Hey Softy, I can connect a lot to what you say about how our drinking didn't fill the emptiness, it was a patch over it. I have not found the answer(s) either, in regards to how to fill the hole. Part of me thinks that, over time, the hole will no longer have the same power over us, and therefore need not be filled. The more sober time that I have under me, the greater my perspective, which helps. Keep us posted if you ave an epiphany, or and cool concepts you find.
          Hill
          Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

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            #6
            Hole in my life

            Hi softy, I too drank to fill a space in my life and to forget things I didn't want to think about (but that is another story!) I have found two new hobbies which I love and that occupy all my spare moments now - crochet and Mehndi, I have never been religious but have contemplated investigating spiritualistic affairs too recently, I feel I need something to believe in...
            Taking it ODAT

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              #7
              Hole in my life

              Softy, I have gone the Buddhist route also. I'm pretty new to it - have never been religious but was baptised catholic as a child. So, I'm just reading and learning about Buddhist traditions and ways of life. It appeals to me because it's not a religion - more of a philosophy of how best to live one's life. I am finding peace through yoga, Buddhist philosophies, and meditation. One book I haven't read yet but think would be worthwhile in connection with the alcohol struggle is The Tao of Sobriety. It's on my list.

              KG

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