From drink to destruction

[macca1975]

Thursday, 17 February 2011Just a simple man
Hi let me introduce myself my name is john,i am a 35 married man with 3 beautiful children and a nice home,and when im working i earn a lot of money,all sound fantastic eh ?WRONG deep down i have a serious problem,ill give you clue as to what it is.
1.DRINK DRIVING 3 TIMES
2.DRUNK AND DISORDERLY
3.USING MY HEAD AS A THREATINING WEAPON(DRUNK)
4.SECTION 4 PUBLIC ORDER ACT (BEING DRUNK)
5.THREATNING AND ABUSIVE BEHAVOUIR.(WHILST BEING DRUNK OF COURSE)
can u see a pattern developing anywhere i think we all can but why has it took me so long to finally realise?,ill tell you why there is no better word for alcohol than DEMON DRINK let me tell ya folks its blinded me for years,yeah sure i have said right thats it no more ,and that would be the case for a good 3-4weeks, i have even gone 5 months before and thought wow i have done this but slowly but SURELY the devil took new and even more intricate deceptions,oh its so and sos birthday friday (this being monday)well i have done really well i can handle just a few drinks cant i ?well lets go through the senario.Friday comes my wife is dreading it my family is dreading it,even my friends are dreading it those who i have left that is,but what about me how do i feel ?like i said it will be ok so even though i am the one that always lands himself in trouble,but this time like any other time it will be different,HONEST well im sorry to say you know as well as i do thats not going to be the case.So there i am standing at the bar drinking slow as promised (for those that can see i am anyway)but i need to explain something here when i have a drink which i explained earlier is not everyday by a long shot,its like i have an unqeunchable thirst (i appologise for any bad spelling but thats not really the problem here is it,lets be honest).As i was saying i drink and drink but im still thirsty,im having a goodtime but slowly people are warning me slow down,your drinking to fast,no im not i say,im fine knowing deep down in my heart of hearts that i am but i need to get to that point you know the dont you ?well i thought i did but the more i think of it i dont know what point anymore ,totall abliteration is what point i end up at,i mean i used to laugh at people that used to soil thereselves after a night out HAHAHAH what a loser i used to think i would never do a thing like that,well im startin to lose track now on how many times i have done it myself SO WHO IS THE LOSER ?if i go off the track of what im saying i appologise its just when i start thinking of things to write there are so many bad times that pop into my head the all seem to intermingle but generally involving the same outcome,TROUBLE FOR ME ANYWAYS.So now its saturday morning,what happened to friday i here you ask ?,well you tell me,but thats ok isnt it just must have had 1 to many ,but im feeling rough now ,i have upset to many people to count,so whats my answer DRINK yeah thats a good idea isnt it ?.,its now Monday im so rough but im physically hurting from the amount of alcohol i have drunk thats it never again thats me finished with it for good,like i said a million times before give or take a few months and i would be back on it A NEVER ENDING CIRCLE THAT I JUST CANT SEEM TO BREAK ,well that hopefully change from now hopefully me writing this online it may help others realise in my situation (u know u cant drink)that there is a way from the devil they call drink.
:new:

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

From drink to destruction

Welcome Macca, you are not alone. So many of us here have been stuck on the never ending merry go round of drink to oblivion, wake up feeling disgust, regret and promising ourselves never ever again will we do that to ourselves and those close to us again, only to repeat the same behaviour again and again. However you have taken an all important first step by recognising this can't go on and seeking and finding MWO. This place and more importantly, the people here, changes lives. There is tons of information, help and non judgemnetal support here, you just have o want this madness to stop.
Keep safe
KTAB

[tiptronic_ct]

From drink to destruction

Hiya Macca, and welcome to MWO :welcome:

I can second what KTAB has said.

In particular, have a look at the Toolbox thread: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Hope to see you participating on the boards!

[macca1975]

From drink to destruction

Thanx for your replies,its been seven days now and like KTAB says i just want the madness to stop,and the ONLY way i can do this this is to stop drinking i know this now,i know this in my heart as i am on the verge of losing everything,and believe me i have so much of it to lose.
Thanks again guys for your support.

[JackieClaire]

From drink to destruction

Hi Macca,
Just adding my hellos and welcomes.
Stay close and keep reading and posting.
J x
:l

[kaza]

From drink to destruction

Hi Macca
Congratulations, you are doing the right thing - stick with us, we are all in this together and we will come out the other side - better for the love and support of all our freinds. Love and Sunshine always. Kazax

[Wagoneer]

From drink to destruction

Hi Macca - welcome. You are doing the right thing. You hit the nail on the head when you said DEMON DRINK. That is what it is for us. I wish I was one to have a drink or two and be done, but I am not. That is just how it is. I am almost 4 months sober and while it has not been easy, it is the best thing I have ever done. I wish you the best of luck - stay close, read and post. You have friends here that have gone through all kinds of drink-related crap. Look to the sober future and it will be easier. DOn't live in regret. You will just sabotage yourself. You have a wonderful future if you stay off the drink.

[Flossie]

From drink to destruction

Hi,

I am so pleased that you have joined us here.

I thought AL was great but all the time I thought that I kept on drinking but as it got worse I realised that AL wasn`t so great but was in fact the devil in disguise and once I realised that it gave me strength to do something about it.

Keep up your strength too.

Luv Flo x

[mama bear]

From drink to destruction

Welcome to our crazy and loving family.
We have all"been there, done that"...let us help you.
Strength and hugs

[macca1975]

From drink to destruction

Thank you all for being so supportive. It helps to know there are others in the same situation, here's a little poem I have written, poetry helps me express my feelings.

For far too long regret, has been a big part of my life
Nearly losing my children, and a loving caring wife.
No longer will I make the mistake, and pick up that first one
I'm no longer Jekyll and Hyde, as Mr Hyde has gone.
No longer will I let, this demon rule my life
As this demon is no friend of mine, it causes loss of life.
This demon that I speak of, has more than one disguise
He takes on all my favourite forms, and tells the best of lies
Convincing me it's all o.k, go ahead take a few sips
leading to a road of ruin, once it's touched my lips.

I blamed everyone and everything, from my family to my friends
But if I were to pick up that drink, I know how this all ends.
I gaze into my children's eyes, and see their hearts are sad
They can see for sure, they are going to lose their Dad.
What can make me do this, what makes me turn away?
This thing I talk of is demon drink, what is left to say.

I tell myself every day, John, I know you can
But until that day comes, then I'll never be a man.
For far too long I've chosen, that demon we call drink
So from this day forth and forever more, I will stop and think.
Think of all the things I have, so special and still pure
And tell myself I have a problem, for which there is a cure.
This cure comes from my strength, I hold it deep within
And now I've finally realised, my life can truly begin.

I hope people can relate to this and thanks for taking the time to read it
Macca

[stashia]

From drink to destruction

:welcome:Wow macca that made me want to cry because your words fit exactly what we all think x keep strong

[macca1975]

From drink to destruction

Thankyou very much stashia that means a lot to me hope the words give everybody that little extra help x

[Mish]

From drink to destruction

:colorwelcome: Macca. You've found a truly wonderful place here at MWO. I stumbled across it (quite literally) at the end of August last year. I've had so much support, encouragement and love from this amazing family. Just realising that I'm not alone and there are others like me who know all the things I've felt over the years is a wonderful thing.
You've taken a very important step, and thank goodness you've done it while you're still young and haven't lost everything. I'm 56 and caused a lot of damage in my relationships with my children, which fortunately are good now, but it was terribly painful knowing what I was doing and not being able to stop.
I've been sober since 4th December, 2010, and couldn't have done it without this fantastic site. AL truly is evil for people like us. You'll read some inspiring stories here, and all the help you need to beat this disease.
I've 'cured' my alcoholism with the use of Baclofen and am completely indifferent to alcohol, but everyone finds what works for them. There's a lot of information on the Medication threads.
I look forward to seeing you on the boards and getting to know you better, and wish you every success on your journey.

[macca1975]

From drink to destruction

Thankyou for your kind words mish i am taking one day at time now but seeing other people in the same situation is a big help as i know i can do this now and i know that now is the right time for me to grab the rest of my life by the scruff of the neck.THANKYOU

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

From drink to destruction

Good stuff Macca, one day, one hour, one minute at a time if needs be. Have you considered downloading the book, lots of information in there which can help you formulate a plan that will work for you. Any questions just ask, you can do this.