?Out of Control?
?Alice's Wonderland?
?There's an itch under my skin that I just can't scratch, and an itch that makes me feel real.?
It's the same every time, yet different. You arrive at the gate with some grass in your hand, the grass that makes you smile. Once you've passed through the gate, you fall down through the pipe and end up landing on the pill. This is the lifestyle of the lost and the dream of the broken, this isn't a game. This is the system of flames and pain, of power and of control. This is your commitment to the white dragon. Welcome to hell.
At first it was all just for fun, a social habit at most, but the more you indulge, the more you need and soon it's never enough. Memories of quality time with friends and family soon seize to suffice, and the people you love all drift away, more by every night. Soon you're left with just one friend, whom you can never trust. He gives you pleasure and bliss for just a moment, but after that he brings pain. The burning feeling in your sinus and the drops of blood from your veins, the smoke-stained colours of your once white teeth and the blood-shot red in your eyes, meet your new best friend, your brother, your master.
It was just another beautiful day, a walk in the park. Until that little voice returned and the dragon shortly followed. Realising where I was, a world very far from my own, I knew I could never leave. The dragon promised forgiveness, if only I could catch the white rabbit, but just like Alice I was stuck in this ?Wonderland?. The deeper you go, the closer you get, but his stainless resistance was truly superior to any attack. Depressed, suicidal, the acknowledgement of defeat. Then as your spirits drop, you start the game again. A needle in you arm, even just once, and you're gone.
Just like starting a family, you make a permanent commitment and you will always keep your vows. There it stands, your new partner, white... white powder. And just like a cild, the dragon will be. At times you'll hate him, at times you will love him. In the end, no matter what, you will support and protect him. You will support and protect your need. This is the life of a heroin addict, this life is out of control.
?One pill makes you larger,
and one pill makes you small.
And the pills that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Call Alice,
When she's ten feet tall?
- Jefferson Airplane (white rabbit)
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