Oh My God! Oh My God!

[GratefulEm]

Kanga was in Iraq! Oh MY GOD! I just learned tonight that someone in my son's division in Samara committed suicide because he felt helpless. His girlfriend/wife may have cheated on him. Not that it could be Kanga because he's not from this country. But I am sick!! I AM f...ing sick! How m any more casualties are there going to be???
I've spent the evening getting in touch with another mother who has a son in Iraq because MY son has not emailed us for a month. He won't respond to his girlfriend's letters and he cancelled his MYSPACE. I am about as sick to my stomach as I can be. This war has a human face in all these young men and in all the families who are tortured back home. The mother I contacted told me that my son's Airborne unit is going out every day and bringing back Iraqi bodies in body bags, trying to avoid IEDs and that's only the beginning. But why didn't Kanga let us know? I would have loved to connect to him. This is insanity. Most of all, it's a lesson for all of us to honor everyone here and if you don't feel that you can do that, than take your problems elsewhere. Kanga - we love you. Grateful Em

[GratefulEm]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

P.S.

Ladies - If this is all true about Kanga, then I am going deeper into a cozy inner ball of depression. I've so wanted to get better and stop drinking but sometimes I just feel that this whole life we are living is hopeless.
What the HELL does this country stand for, and why should I want to get better? I never in million years thought that my (MY) son who I gave birth to would be in Iraq - a country that Saddaam Hussein destroyed.
I've walked carefully on these boards because of all my pain. Truly, I'll call a therapist tomorrow because last time I went round this circle, I know it wasn't the right format for my pain. I'm glad I have the supps but I also realize that I'm hurt to the core of me and I can't expect "boards" to help me out with that. I just want to honor the Kanga and hope we're all a little more tender with each other. Em

[fsophiah]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

We gotta love each other, sweetie.

[YoungAtHeart]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

Em, my heart is with you. Please don't go too deep into that ball of depression. It's cold and dark in there. I can't pretend that I begin to understand your pain; I can only try. I'm willing to listen though. I'm glad that you are seeking a therapist. There's room for your pain here too.

I'm praying for you and your son.

With warmth,
Kathy:l

[vinophile]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

Em,
When I heard the horrific new about Kanga I thought of you.How hard this must be on you with a son in Iraq!!!!Please know that I am thinking of you. I pray you can find some comfort in a time which must be exceptionally difficult. Let us know if there is anything we can do.
Janet

[Mackeral]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

I agree with Kathy and Janet...I wish you and yours my best Em

[lushy]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

Em, I am just so incredibly sad for your situation. Please keep us informed about your son, okay? We care.

[southernbelle47]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

Em,
I acknowledge your pain. I do not know exactly how you feel because my son never had to do the things yours is doing.
I do know what it feels like to not hear from him for three weeks. That was the summer of 2003 for me. This was the time I just had the hardest time holding together also.
All I can say is .........I got on my knees and BEGGED my God to put hedges of protection around my son and his fellow troops. I woke up in the middle of the night many times and did this. I had no pride left.....I begged.....

The thing is, as time went on, I had a peace that I couldn't and can't describe.

May you also have The Peace that passes all understanding.

I Love You,
Nancy:h

[tumadre]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

GratefulEm wrote: Most of all, it's a lesson for all of us to honor everyone here

I couldn't possible understand what you could be feeling right now, I could only imagine how frightening it must be. However, I have been in a deep, dark cave. I thought no one could ever help me out of there. Please hear us when we say that we don't want you to disappear so far in there that you can't hear our words of love and support, or know that we are there to listen. See your words, above. Stay, so we can honor you.
Tumadre

[happycamper68]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

GratefulEm,
Please know we are all here supporting you and thinking of your situation while we mourn Kanga. Please have strength, we know you do because you are going to go to a therapist so you are already taking steps to take care of yourself. I can't imagine what it must be like to be in your shoes, I worry about my child for other reasons but yours right now is something no mother should have to go through. We are all here. Keep coming here and good luck with the therapist, I hope it's a good one. And I hope you hear from your son soon. :l

[GratefulEm]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

Thank-you. I do appreciate the responses. I only wish there was something we could have done for Kanga.
If only I could have talked to him on a more personal level. He didn't really let us in. If only...... He kept up such a cheery facade. Who would have known? I guess he reached out in the way that he could and that felt compfortable to him.
Our children our only ours to launch into the world and then their life is their own. We have to get better and be strong. Not an easy path. The human condition is just not a picnic on the beach.
I hear from Dianna ( another mother whose son is in Iraq) that they are trying to get steroids so they can keep up with the pace of the war. These may be having some effect on their brains and emotions.
WAR IS HELL!
Meanwhile, I'm blessed and thankful (just wanted to let you know this) that my daughter is off to India and Nepal in two weeks to participate in a sustainability conference that is worldwide. IT's about using your resources in a healthy way and saying no to the raping of corportations. How lucky am I that I have her in my life? What a crazy, crazy life this can be - such despair and such joy! Em

[tawnyfrog]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

Grateful Em

Remember I sent you a PM at Thanksgiving time? I knew exactly what you were going through. You MUST now stay strong for your son. I stayed strong for the Kanga while he was there. Different matter now.

[GratefulEm]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

Oh, if only I could have connected to Kanga in a meaningful way, or even put him and my son in touch.
These guys need each other. Why, why, why didn't Kanga let us know? We could have helped him so much more.
I am SO thankful for this format and a place to express my anguish. You all give me strength. Let's just promise to love and honor each other and keep reaching out. There's way too much pain in this world.
Em

[YoungAtHeart]

Oh My God! Oh My God!

There is way too much pain in this world; that is why we so need each other. We can create so much joy with each other, and we can also create warmth and huddle with each other against the cold and darkness.

What a dark and tearful day.

Much love,
Kathy