scared

[wooger]

Hi

I am fairly new here but I did post here once or twice a few months back. Anyways, I am only 25 years old, but for the past several years I have been drinking around 6 litres of cider a day... wow it sounds so much when I say it like that

Anyway, after several unsuccsessful attempts at cutting down (I did manage to cut down to around 2 litres or under for several months, a few months back and I'm sure that there must have been times when I wasn't drinking THAT much I just can't really remember :|)

anyway, I detoxed myself with clonazepam (benzodiazepine like librium and valium etc) a few months ago but started drinking again for a couple of weeks and experienced some weird symptoms when I tried to stop. So I did a home detox with the help of my dr.

I haven't had any alcohol in about a month now.

What I was wondering, if i STAY stopped and eat healthy and exercise, is there any chance of me living to a 'ripe old age' I wanna have a nice long life like other people, but I'm really scared that the damage has already been done
I know it sounds silly to ask for a 'life expectancy prediction' or something but I'm wondering whether its possible to reverse the damage and live a normal life span?

thanks in advance

[Wagoneer]

scared

As long as you stay sober and continue on the great path you are on, you will be fine I believe. The body is an amazing piece of work and can heal things that seem like a miracle. Be good to yourself, and be happy. No one can predict anything in life, but without alcohol to muck things up, chances are life will be good Best of luck to you friend!

[rubywillow]

scared

Yes, wooger. It's very good you've realized what you're doing to your body so young. AL WILL kill you, it's poison. But staying free of it, and making other healthy choices now will keep you around for a long, long time.

[madmans]

scared

Well done Wooger on your month AF that's great . no one can tell how long any of us will live but the one sure thing drinking will end it sooner rather than later . Keep up the good work

[KundaliniGirl]

scared

Hi Wooger - I remember you. Welcome back, and now is the time to start healing your body. You liver is very good at regenerating. You're lucky to be getting started early on your journey. You stand to have a very good life, so do it!

Sending you peace and strength,
KG

[lil.michelle]

scared

Hi hunni,
I can't say whether you'll live long.. You don't know what's around that corner BUT you hadn't been drinking for soo long and it wasn't heavy stuff like spirits so I think you'll be good for a good few years yet. Your liver is able to repair itself back to normal (thank goodness) unless it gets to a certain point and then that's it, damage is done, you're pretty much screwed. You know when you get to that point tho as you become very very ill. Just make sure you stay stopped and in control! I really wouldn't worry! Go live life to the full! Also have to add, is nice to know there are young people like me on this site (I'm 27) thought I was alone! Not that it's nice you have this horrible addiction but you know what i mean!
Go.. Enjoy... Take care xx

[wooger]

scared

first off, wow, I'm kinda shocked at all the replies, especially so quickly, everyone seems really nice so thankyou!

I did talk to my dr about it ages ago, the only test he did on me was a liver function test, and that came back abnormal (which I think I posted about before on here back when I first joined) but he said with abstainence it should go back to normal.

when I asked about other organs like heart etc (I didn't realise alcohol damaged EVERYTHING until I did some more reasearch ) he simply said 'you're young, if you stay away from it I'm confident your body will be okay'. but he didn't do any tests or anything, so it got me thinking I may have done loads of damage he is unaware of

I have an appiontment with him monday, he wants to see how I'm getting on with trazadone, he prescribed it for anxiety and insomnia and I've been on it a few weeks but i don't think it is working. Should I ask him again about whether he thinks I've messed my body up or well that just make me look like a total freak?

Also, is it normal to feel REALLY depressed etc after stopping? I feel as if I don't even know who I am... and I kinda look around me at other people my age who seem to have done a hell of a lot more but I've mainly spent my time drinking and running away from life I guess. grr. I feel pathetic

and Michelle I do know what you mean! To be honest, when I first tried going to an AA meeting one of the things that put me off was the fact I was sooo young. It didn't help that I'm also probably quite immature, as I haven't really 'grown up' much, just kinda been in an alcohol induced blur throughout my late teens and early 20s I just felt like a child really but thats besides the point.

anyways, thanks everyone

[KundaliniGirl]

scared

Wooger, I think your doctor is right and that you are young enough that your body will be fine if you'll let it! But, you know, if you would find comfort in testing, then by all means tell the doctor to do an overall physical on you. Many people have routine physicals every year. Once you do that, you'll have a "baseline." Then when you have your next one, you'll be able to see if you've gotten better, stayed the same, etc. It's not a bad idea at all. Your doc just isn't used to seeing young people who are concerned with their health. Most your age are oblivious.

You know, regarding AA, I think there are some young groups - if not AA, I know there are others. You should keep checking that out because you need people around you who aren't drinking. And, you are not going to be able to relate to people twice your age. I hope you can find a group you can relate to -- very important IMHO.

Regarding depression, I do think it's pretty typical after quitting. It's a huge change to your body, and it's a life-change that's completely different from what you've known for years. It takes work, but you'll actually be less depressed once you let your body recover. The way you've been drinking has actually worked as a depressant - it seems at the time that it's uplifting, but in the long run it doesn't work that way. You'll be much happier once you get out of your rut. I'm not a doc, but please be careful with the AntiDs. They come with their own problems if you use them for too long, etc. Please research all this stuff -- tons of information available on the internet.

Keep us posted and best of luck.

KG

[rubywillow]

scared

Woog, try not to stress over one or 2 tests. Most need to be repeated at intervals. Worrying won't help, living right will. And you'll feel SO much better!!!

[coalfire]

scared

Wooger. Oh to be 25 and to have one ounce of the self awareness and maturity you do now! You have an amazing chance here wooger to change your life at such a young age. If you manage to turn your life around now it will be almost as if it never happened to you.Most of us here would kill to be able to go back to 25 and have a chance to re-write our scripts....oh how different they would be. For us that is a fantasy,for you it is a reality. There is a litttle poem/rhyme I always remember which might interest you. Its from an older ill person shuffling along written to a young vibrant person.

" You laugh at me as I walk by but as you are now so once was I.
As I am now you too will be so prepare yourself to follow me."

If you stay around MWO and let the message sink in you have a chance not to follow us. The biggest challenge for you will be to get past the "yeah but that wont happen me" type of thinking that is typical normal and perfectly understandable at your age. If you can get past that way of thinking then you will be a very smart cookie. If you feel like sticking around the forum track down one of the AA members and ask them to explain the"yets" to you.You have an amazing opportunity here. Good luck.

Ps the younger persons reply to the older person might interest you too.

" To follow you Im not content
Til I find out which way you went!" So true!!

[KundaliniGirl]

scared

Nice post, Coalfire!

[wooger]

scared

you guys are awesome anyways! I think I will mention it to him when I see him monday, I guess it can't do any harm but then again he already just kinda stated that 'I'll be fine'.... so he might just say that again, and I don't wanna be too pushy...

I'm not sure that there are any groups around here to be honest, everywhere round here that I've asked about it just says 'go to AA' but I'm not too sure about that, theres a big city not far from here and I'll have a look and see if there is anything there.

KundaliniGirl;1070512 wrote:
Regarding depression, I do think it's pretty typical after quitting. It's a huge change to your body, and it's a life-change that's completely different from what you've known for years. It takes work, but you'll actually be less depressed once you let your body recover. The way you've been drinking has actually worked as a depressant - it seems at the time that it's uplifting, but in the long run it doesn't work that way. You'll be much happier once you get out of your rut. KG

This seems to be very true!! I hope the last bit is right too... I'm not sure if I can stand much longer being generally miserable all the time, I've been this way for quite a while I think I also find it VERY difficult to talk to other people, as most of my interaction with people was done drunk, so now I'm even more shy than I was before, and I feel like I'm carrying this big bag of problems around with me and I have no one to talk to about them, apart from on here I guess.

Coalfire - your post really cheered me up! and I can definately relate to 'it won't happen to me' thinking! :| I mean, especially in the past, I have done some REALLY wreckless things, while under the influence or just through the sheer extent of how I've been abusing my body (used plenty of other drugs beside alcohol for instance). Sometimes I wonder how the hell I'm still alive. But I cross my fingers that I'm past all that now.

I don't know whether this is the right place to right about this, but I am also deeply concerned about my mum, she drinks a lot, like at least 3 litres of cider a night, sometimes more. She has been doing this for years and years as well as drinking throughout her life (I don't know how much, I hadn't been born at that point :P). Anyway, she has loads of health problems now which are probably caused by her drinking, and whenever my dad tries to talk to her about it, she just argues (obviously) but I'm quite concerned when he says things to her like 'you'll get cirrohsis is you carry on like this' and her honest reply is 'I don't care' and carries on drinking...

I know it's impossible to make her stop when she clearly doesn't want to eevn contemplate the idea so sorry for the lil rant at the end there and thanks for your very encouraging posts

[KundaliniGirl]

scared

Wooger, so sad that you have to watch this with your mom. That can't be helping your situation either. Except.........if you keep going you can see your future. One thing I do know, people have to want to change and you can't make them do it.

I really hope you get some help for your depression. I know lots of people here who have talked about different meds that have helped them. Please be honest with your doctor so you can get well.

Believe me you will get better without the alcohol. It really makes nothing in our lives better - a very false sense of happiness which is short term and works against us in the long run.

Please let us know how the doctor visit goes, and check out those younger groups of people trying to stay sober in the large city close to you -- even if it means driving, it will be worth it.

Hugs,
KG

[coalfire]

scared

You can talk about anything you want to on here.We are all real people with real families and we are trying to get/stay sober in our real lives. Even though this is the internet there is no virtual reality aspect to Mwo and thats why I like it. People here pm each other,phone each other post each other meds and meet up in real life. Its the best site out there hands down(in my humble opinion). Its as real as you want it to be so chat away about anything.

Now back to your own situation. Your mum tells your Dad that she doesnt care. I dont know if there is an alcoholic alive who doesnt care about their condition. Its so miserable its kind of hard not to care. That sort of mock defiance usually stems from fear. When you are in the grip of addiction you simply cant imagine life without alcohol. I am in the infancy of my recovery so my memories are very fresh on this. She is maybe scared that if she admits to caring then she will have to put down the bottle and thats just terrifying.I could maybe think of a few suggestions although its hard to give advice if you dont know your mum. I will try anyway. Does she like to use the internet? You could tell her about MWO or you could type out the name of the website on a piece of paper like MWO -alcohol recovery site and leave it lying around where she could see it. A lot of people have wandered on to the site through curiosity lurked for a while then got hooked and eventually got sober. Some people prefer to use the internet to think about their alcohol problems as its less confrontational. You can let it sink in at your own pace. If she doesnt like to use the internet then that wont work. What else? You could tell her that you are trying to clean up your own life and ask her would she like to join you. It would be easier with 2 of etc... It would be easier if neither of us had alcohol in the house etc. If you keep the focus on you she might feel less under attack. Women have a diferent relationship with their kids than they do with their husbands and a fresh approach might work. If none of that works you could try inspiring her with your own recovery. Look at Ozzy Osbourne. He couldnt/wouldnt get sober for most of his life. It was only when he saw his own son (Jack?) tackling his own addictions in a honest upfront manner that he became inspired/shamed into tackling his own.There is only so much you can do though for someone else. You dont want to become co dependent. Im sure you have heard of the book co dependent no more.

Im sorry you are feeling depressed. That seems to be a universal theme around here. First you have to tackle the substance abuse then you have to tackle all the crap that is lying underneath it then you have to build a new life. It really seems to be a 3 step process or so all the long term abstainers tell us and it would make sense if you think about it. Kundalini girl gave you good advice about being honest with your dr. Im terrible at that myself so a little uncomfortable squirm there for me. Take a look at our holistic healing section. Dont forget the big 2. Diet and exercise. Everone always puts them to the bottom of the list but you can actually cure mild/moderate depression through these means and create a sense of euphoria through foods and exercise alone. There are some interesting supplements mentioned in the holistic healing section. I had a wonderful response to lithium orotate although others found it less helpful.Its all trial and error.

At your age fun has got to be high on your agenda. No way are you going to sit at home knitting your way through recovery time.If you tried you would probably end up saying f**k that some night and heading straight back out there on the drink/drugs. AS kundalini says it might be worth driving to the city to meet that sober group. What about adventure sports? At that age I wasnt happy unless I was throwing myself into something or off something. Are there any of those near you? You could be jumping off a plane this time next year or diving into the ocean. Now that really would be something to look back on when your old and grey! Travel would be a big one at your age too.25 is a great age to buy a backpack and enjoy the worldwide youth hostel scene. I have some great memories from those years and you seem to be able to survive on practically no money at that age.(remind me how I did that again?!!) There is so much out there for you and imagine being able to sit there on your 30 th birthday saying "addiction? That old chestnut? Boring! I got over all that when I was in my 20s". Like the chickenpox or braces it would be great to get it out of the way when your still a pup! Good luck. PS you said when it comes to your Dr " I don't wanna be too pushy...". Thats the reason why many of us are dealing with addiction in our middle years. You crawl in to your Dr feeling ashamed and with a I dont really like to bother you approach and you minimise your symptoms. Then you go home and crawl into a corner feeling as a bad as you did before your appointment. Then 10 years later you end up ordering drugs like Baclofen/antabuse etc to help you deal with stuff you could have dealt with 10 years earlier. With some admirable exceptions Drs can treat addicts like crap. Stand up for yourself. Make it clear you are going nowhere and push. Push very hard.

[KundaliniGirl]

scared

Coalfire, what a lovely post - you are so kind to take the time to give this kind of detailed advice. :l