Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Relationships

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
    #1

    Relationships

    I have something on my mind and would value feedback from like minded people.
    I am today 12 days sober and feeling great. Positive and looking forward.
    I have not had a relationship with anyone since I split with my partner in Nov 09, mainly due to drinking, depression, and for a time feelings for my ex.
    I was in the city centre last week, and met someone I used to work with. I always liked her, but had other things on my mind when I was working with her. She is quite a bit younger than me, but when we met, we seemed to click, and went for a coffee and talked for hrs. It has been like that for a week. Talking for hrs. I really enjoy her company, and her mine.
    My worry is that is this too early in my sobriety? I know in AA they say you shouldnt think of anything but your sobriety for the first yr.
    I have had sober periods before and have never considered a relationship, and this just seems to have happened, with no thought about finding anyone.
    Im just wondering if this is just part of my 'pink cloud' weeks of sobriety. Though I am enjoying it, I dont want it to mess with my long term plan of sobriety.
    Any views would be appreciated.
    Cy x :thanks:
    To Infinity And Beyond!!
    Tags: None
    #2
    Relationships

    Cymru - I dont know whether you spoke to her about your drinking or not? I will assume not at this stage. I know what they say about relationships and making big changes in your life but I think these are all ok as long as your sobriety remains the absolutely no.1 priority and focus and that has to be above any relationship.

    The danger is if you start an intimate relationship and it all goes wrong you are much more likely to reach for a drink. Obviously relationships, particularly new ones come with a whole new host of emotions and I guess thats why we have to be so careful. Also, the reason I asked if you had spoken about it, if she is a drinker this would not be a positive place for you to be so early in recovery. If she isnt and you can talk to her about it, then her support could be a tremendous help to you. Only you will know how strong you are feeling, we do have to fuction and get on with our lives but make your 1st relationship being AF, that comes before everything, and it would be good if she understood that.

    I wish you well.
    "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
    AF - JAN 1st 2010
    NF - May 1996

    Comment

      #3
      Relationships

      Thank you Chill. She is not a big drinker, and not really the going to town and getting smashed type. She knows I dont drink, but I told her it was because of my Crohn's disease, and she was very understanding. I dont think I would mind if she wanted a glass of wine, because I have no urge to drink, but am with you on the relationship not working out and me going back to drink.
      Def food for thought. Thanks Chill. x
      To Infinity And Beyond!!

      Comment

        #4
        Relationships

        Hi cymru like chill says its the negative fall out if it all goes pear shaped and not the way you thought/planed. Having said that while i was starting this journey it was seven weeks when i started dating again but i took it very very slow and kept my expectations down if the lady is for you she is for you,Not much advice I know but for what its worth.


        :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

        Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
        I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

        This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

        Comment

          #5
          Relationships

          Thanks Mario. I think its important not to expect too much from it. Not to set myself up for a big fall if it doesnt workout. Thats a really good point to take on board and keep with me in early sobriety.
          To Infinity And Beyond!!

          Comment

            #6
            Relationships

            Well as some of you know, Cy and I are friends in RL and all I have to say is he wears these scary green jogging bottoms at times which I, his daughter and another friend have ripped the piss out of him for for a while.

            This girl must be blinded as she has actually complimented them - Go for it Cy! LOL!

            Comment

              #7
              Relationships

              LMAO! Your all jealous cause I can pull it off!
              To Infinity And Beyond!!

              Comment

                #8
                Relationships

                cymru;1079038 wrote: LMAO! Your all jealous cause I can pull it off!
                Yeah, says the one with the broken wrist

                Comment

                  #9
                  Relationships

                  are they for the run up to Paddys Day Cy?? Or did you wear them for real?
                  "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

                  AF 10th May 2010
                  NF 12th May 2010

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Relationships

                    kitty72;1079043 wrote: Yeah, says the one with the broken wrist
                    :H:H:H:H:H
                    "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

                    AF 10th May 2010
                    NF 12th May 2010

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Relationships

                      Ha de Ha girls. I have a green top to go with them, and Erin says I look like an elf. She refused to go into sainsbury's with me over crimbo. I wear them to wind her up!!!
                      To Infinity And Beyond!!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Relationships

                        And I wear them for real Oney. There luuuush. I wondered why they were in the sale, and over the last couple of months I think ive got the answer.
                        Anyway, back on subject pls!
                        To Infinity And Beyond!!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Relationships

                          one2many;1079045 wrote: are they for the run up to Paddys Day Cy?? Or did you wear them for real?
                          The first time I saw him wearing them, he was a bit depressed and I thought 'Errr be nice and dont say anything' - When he was feeling better I was like, 'Er... about those green jogging bottoms ...'

                          I was hoping he would wear them today though! :H Rock on!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Relationships

                            OK back on subject, sorry to bring your tragic fashion sense into things Cy. As I said to you, Im glad she isnt a get wasted on the weekend type as you dont need to be around someone like that and well, just chill and take it day by day!

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Relationships

                              Hi Cymru,
                              I know am a bit late posting on this thread but it was only last saturday a friend of mine shared that he had to end his relationship with a woman only because he knew he was not well enough to carry on.......only you will know deep down inside if you are well enough to be able to cope with a relationship. In the early days of our soberity we are very vulnerable and sensitive people...... Just keep yourself safe and take it easy !
                              Wishing you all the best.x
                              Formerly known as Teardrop:l
                              sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
                              my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X