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    #1

    Craving more then ever

    I seem to be craving AL just as much as i did when i first quit! They will not give me 5 mins to myself. I think i'm 5 months AF or very close. I keep getting tempted but i just can't do it to myself. I'm not strong enough to let myself drink and go through all the self hate and dispair again. My chances to drinkend at 3.30 as hubby comes home then so my temptations are almost coming to an end today.

    I'm not sleeping well at the moment as we're still waiting for the house we are buying to complete. So in my room we have me and hubby, 3y old in a bed and 11 month old in a cot. When he wakes, he wakes all of us and he's cutting 4 top teeth at once. I laid with him in my arms last night, hushing him to sleep while waiting for his calpol to kick in, thanking god i had somehow managed to walk away from the cravings. I thought, if i had giving in, how id be tossing and turing hating myself while having panic attacks. i wonder if i have thats why i'm craving.. i'm sleepy! who knows!

    Aaarrggg.. this sux!
    Tags: None
    #2
    Craving more then ever

    Hi lil. michelle,
    Five months was around the time I caved in and had a drink.I suddenly became obsessed with it and the craving would not leave me. ..even bought a bottle, then poured it down the drain five minutes later.God was I frustrated! Anyway I did have a drink and luckily it didnt carry on to a week long binge. But I know I was one of the lucky ones as others can't stop.

    Think of those hangovers, panic attacks, the self hatred you feel.It's not worth going back to that former self. x
    Be strong-
    We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
    Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

    Comment

      #3
      Craving more then ever

      Michelle - you and I quit almost the exact same time, and I have found that I have not been craving so much as having really vivid dreams about drinking. Not binging or anything, but dreams where I have a glass and everything is ok. I wake up and I KNOW I will not be ok if I was to do that, but it is really disturbing that in my dream I can moderate when I know I cannot. Stay strong - we are in this together!
      February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

      When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

      Comment

        #4
        Craving more then ever

        Thanx.. I'm staying strong. I've come to far and I will never let myself go back to what I was! I love being sober mummy!! I bought my little girl this squinky tea set thing and it's like a gum ball machine. You put these coins into it and the squinky rolls out! The squinky is a little tiny person or pet inside a little plastic ball. Just watching her play with it, focus on it, her pure innocence! I'll never miss another moment of there lives through drink.

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          #5
          Craving more then ever

          lil.michelle,

          I know there are those here who hate AA, apparently with very good reason, BUT at the end of the day AA also has some wisdom from years and years of "practice."

          There is a reason there are 30, 60, 90, 6 month and year chips. That is because that is when the relapses often occur.

          Hang in there, girl!! These cravings will soon subside and you will be a solar orbiter on MWO.

          Thank you for being here and sharing.

          Love,
          Cindi
          AF April 9, 2016

          Comment

            #6
            Craving more then ever

            Cinders;1081892 wrote:


            There is a reason there are 30, 60, 90, 6 month and year chips. That is because that is when the relapses often occur.


            Thats interesting cinders. I didnt know that. I am coming up to day 60 now and it isnt my best week. I better be on my guard. Thanks for the warning.
            I am a sobriety tart. AA/Smart/RR philosophy, meds/diet/exercise/prayer,rabbbits feet/four leaf clovers/horseshoes. Yes please.I will have them all thank you very much.Bring them on


            There is no way the bottle is going to be stronger than I am.

            Comment

              #7
              Craving more then ever

              Coalfire,

              Knowledge is power.

              You will get through this.

              Love,
              Cindi
              AF April 9, 2016

              Comment

                #8
                Craving more then ever

                Cinders I didn't know that either. Thanks for the info X X O O
                February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

                When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

                Comment

                  #9
                  Craving more then ever

                  a journey

                  lil.michelle;1081746 wrote: I seem to be craving AL just as much as i did when i first quit! They will not give me 5 mins to myself. I think i'm 5 months AF or very close. I keep getting tempted but i just can't do it to myself. I'm not strong enough to let myself drink and go through all the self hate and dispair again. My chances to drinkend at 3.30 as hubby comes home then so my temptations are almost coming to an end today.

                  I'm not sleeping well at the moment as we're still waiting for the house we are buying to complete. So in my room we have me and hubby, 3y old in a bed and 11 month old in a cot. When he wakes, he wakes all of us and he's cutting 4 top teeth at once. I laid with him in my arms last night, hushing him to sleep while waiting for his calpol to kick in, thanking god i had somehow managed to walk away from the cravings. I thought, if i had giving in, how id be tossing and turing hating myself while having panic attacks. i wonder if i have thats why i'm craving.. i'm sleepy! who knows!

                  Aaarrggg.. this sux!
                  hi little M,:goodjob:with the 5 months,but as you go on with this journey , im talking years,the cravings will subside, but the desire to drink will always be there,it has been bread into society,it is ok to drink? being young and with young children,it must be very hard, i found a few years back coucilling helped,i didnt go to long,but the person i talked to was very understanding,that is what he got paid for,he also worked in a rehab b4 being a councillor,,this place helped emensly,i can tell you it gets better,one way or the other,drinking or sober,over the years you will find a piece in yourself,sometimes we have to find the peace in ourselves i have,:thanks:always like reading your posts,your battle is a lot like mine use to be,i wish you well young lady gyco

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Craving more then ever

                    Hi Lil M, you should really be proud of yourself for not giving in. It is amazing how the urges keep coming.

                    For me, after about 6 months, I did notice that my new patterns, my new lifestyle and habits, started to feel normal, and this seemed to help decrease the intensity and frequency of the urges. I hope that the same happens for you.

                    Hang in there, you can do it.
                    Hill
                    Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Craving more then ever

                      great going lil m on the 5 months. just think how difficult it would be to deal with all this going on if you were drinking... 10 times or more worse. tiredness and anxiety could well be the cause of the cravings but at least you have a sober head to deal with it
                      Today is the tomorrow i worried about yesterday and it turned out fine
                      Keep passing the open windows

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Craving more then ever

                        Always thinking of you little momma......this is a major life change and you are doing so well!!!
                        I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                        Live in the Solution....not the problem

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Craving more then ever

                          Hi all. Thanx for all the comments. My cravings seem to be minimal today which is confusing but good! I order the second bookmfrom the twilight series from the library which has just come in so that should keep me and my crazy mind occupied for a week but might not help my sleep *lol*

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Craving more then ever

                            Michelle.There is a lot of recovery literature mentioned in the MWO reading section.Sometimes its good to have a book tucked away for when you have a bad week like this.I find it helps to turn your head in the right direction again.
                            I am a sobriety tart. AA/Smart/RR philosophy, meds/diet/exercise/prayer,rabbbits feet/four leaf clovers/horseshoes. Yes please.I will have them all thank you very much.Bring them on


                            There is no way the bottle is going to be stronger than I am.

                            Comment

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