Newbie - I don't want to do group therapy

[Ponycat]

Hi,

I am 41, female, merried, no kids, living in Sydney Australia. Been an alcoholic since 21, and drinking 2 bottles of wine a night. I've had 2 periods of soberiety before of about 6 months, but I tried to cut down on alcohol.

After having a nervous breakdown a month ago (due to a friends that I had gone into buying a farm with turning nasty), I had a huge binge drnking episode and decided enough is enough. So, I'm trying to give up for good.

I've been 100% sober for 3 weeks, and haven't missed drinking at all. But the psychiastrist at the clinic I'm going to (have seen her twice), is insisting that I go for a 3 week inpatient detox followed by weekly 3 hour meetings plus AA meetings for the rest of my liife. The meetings are on nights and weekends, which is when I work.

In the mornings I drive 2 hours, work my horses for 3 hours, drive 2 hours to work, work till 9pm and come home. Sunday is my day off work and most of that time is with my horses.

The psychiatrist REALLY pressured me today, she said that if I don't go to these meetings then there is nothing that can be done for me. But I don't want to go, as:
* I really can't change my shifts at work, I'm a night supervisor and have to be there.
* I have looked at all AA meetinsg in my area, and if I was to attend one it means I'd have to give up my h
* I'm not a group therapy kind of person. I've tried it before and I HATE it. I really, really hate it.
* The 3 week inpatient thing is a detox, to get over all the physical withdrawls, but I've already been off alcohol for 3 weeks and had the withdrawls.
* I'd rather spend my free time playing with my animals, or knitting, or cleaning the house.

But mostly I don't want to feel that I am going to forever have to be shackled to group therapy. I mean, people who give up smoking don't spend the rest of their lives going to weekly meetings do they ? I like online forums like this, but just detest group sessions.

Up until today I had been going really well. The thought of not having a drink hasn't bothered me at all. Now however I'm desprate for a drink (won't have one theough), I'm so stressed out over this.

This happened before (same hopital, different psychatrist), and stopped attending as a result. I resented paying $300 a session to just argue about why I don't want to go to AA.

Any thoughts, experience or comments appreciated.

[Cinders]

Newbie - I don't want to do group therapy

AA is the one known and accepted therapy by licensed psycologists and psychiatrists for alcoholism. That is all they know.

If you can find another way to stay sober. Do it!!

I have known several people who have been sober a long time without AA.

I am not putting AA down. I have tried it myself and found much wisdom in those rooms but, I too, am not good at group therapy and AA is not my cup of tea.

Unfortunately, for me, I have not found another way.

I am still working on it, though!!

Good luck and :welcome:

Hopefully, you will find your way out of this addiction. Many do.

Cindi

[coalfire]

Newbie - I don't want to do group therapy

We have a monthly abstinence thread in MWO who have people in AA who really love it. There is a good AA thread from last week talking about how much it helps them. There is a thread in the meds section called side effects of AA which talks about negative experiences of AA from people who hate it. I should mention that there is some arguing in that thread which is not usually found here in MWO. It was one of those threads! If you flick back a page or 2 on the general discussion part you will see a thread called thinking about going to AA but dont want to become a fanatic.Why dont you have a read and see what you relate to?Some people use drugs-again see the meds section.Your psychiatrist can give his/her opinion but its your life and the final decision is yours. Good luck.

[stashia]

Newbie - I don't want to do group therapy

:welcome: pony i realy hope you got over the urge to drink!! you did it before so you must have some willpower :l i too have been drinking 2 bottles of wine per night until 3 weeks ago i had a serious accident at home that nearly killed me im recovering slowly and hope i never want to drink again when i feel better!! ive never been to doctors or therapy nor have i got some dark past that led me to drink just got addicted! so i dont think i need counciling. i dont know your reasons for drinking before break down or farm buisness but i hope you will find wonderful unjudgemental support on here as so many have best of luck to you & keep strong :h

[jane jane]

Newbie - I don't want to do group therapy

Pony, I agree that group therapy is NOT the way for some of us. AA made me WANT to drink! I LOATHED the stupid little singsongy deal: "I'm Jane Jane and I'm AN ALCOHOLIC." "HI JANE JANE!" Ugh!

Loathed the fact that it's not "anonymous" at all! Walked in and saw a social acquaintance! We were both appalled!

Several in the room told stories MUCH worse than mine (DUIs, lost custody, horrible car wrecks, etc.) so what did that make me think? "Oh, I don't have a problem at all compared with these women! I think I'll drink a bottle of wine this afternoon and celebrate!"

Great if it works for some, but...nope, not for JJ here...

For the record, I'm doing sobriety without any supplements, pills, or drugs..."just say no" is the only way I know to do it without side effects or repercussions.

[RedJib]

Newbie - I don't want to do group therapy

I've never attended an AA meeting, and though I'm sure that they are helpful for some, I know myself fairly well and I know that I'd find it difficult to maintain interest in their group process--a kind of zealotry dressed up as the mutual aid model of support. Just not my thing.

As for your doctor's 'prescription,' Pony, just take it all with the proverbial grain of salt. For physicians, it becomes second nature to believe that they are required to know the right answer and to provide it with an air of confidence to their patients. If from their readings and their real-world consultations with patients they draw the conclusion that "AA is the best way to achieve abstinence," that's what they'll prescribe. Makes sense. Especially since I think that they 'tune out' or fail to explore with patients who achieve abstience in other paths just how they did it. (That might take awhile.... that is, it might take away billable minutes that could be spent with other patients.)

How you get to the goal--a life without AL problems--is your business, it's your path, and if a particular physician isn't willing to join you in the way you try to achieve it, move along and find another. The arrogance of preaching a version of "this is the only way" can be just as undermining to your progress as the potential traps and obstacles you may find or create for yourself along that path, so I'd dump that doctor now, today.

You ARE making great progress. Don't give up!
Jib

[stashia]

Newbie - I don't want to do group therapy

jane jane;1082404 wrote: Pony, I agree that group therapy is NOT the way for some of us. AA made me WANT to drink! I LOATHED the stupid little singsongy deal: "I'm Jane Jane and I'm AN ALCOHOLIC." "HI JANE JANE!" Ugh!

Loathed the fact that it's not "anonymous" at all! Walked in and saw a social acquaintance! We were both appalled!

Several in the room told stories MUCH worse than mine (DUIs, lost custody, horrible car wrecks, etc.) so what did that make me think? "Oh, I don't have a problem at all compared with these women! I think I'll drink a bottle of wine this afternoon and celebrate!"

Great if it works for some, but...nope, not for JJ here...

For the record, I'm doing sobriety without any supplements, pills, or drugs..."just say no" is the only way I know to do it without side effects or repercussions.

its true jane, i had a friend who everyone knew was a raging Alc she went to AA and decided the people there were worse than herself so decided she wasnt an Alkie!! i drank a lot but not as much as her and knew i had a prob! But i know nothing about AA or any other counciling sessions to give a personal opinion MWO is my safety net for now, its early days am on week 3 so am sticking here for time being. best wishes to everyone :l

[Ponycat]

Newbie - I don't want to do group therapy

30 days AF.

[Kimberley]

Newbie - I don't want to do group therapy

:goodjob: Ponycat on your 30 days!!

No-one can say exactly what will work for you, but the fact that you have achieved periods of sobriety before on your own does show that you may not need as much help or support as some others (like me, I HAVE to go to AA, no question!)

I think your psychiastrist may have been ticking off some boxes - yes do this and this and this. Doesn't mean it's right for you.

Can I just correct a misconception - AA isn't group therapy, it is more of a support system where you can share your worries, thoughts and feelings with like-minded and accepting people and can be supported to follow a more 'spiritual' life. And the reason you have to attend the meetings for life is that once you are a true alcoholic you don't ever get 'better', ie. become a non-alcoholic.

One of the reasons that fellowships are great is that almost everyone does need some kind of suppport network when trying to maintain sobriety. This is true statistically and makes sense. If you like the forum and that's enough for you, then good, use this.

If you believe you can achieve long-term sobriety on your own then go for it. You'll find out if you can't soon enough...

Congratulations again on your AF time so far - stick around the forums and let us know hw it's all going.

K x

[gyco]

Newbie - I don't want to do group therapy

choice

Ponycat;1082168 wrote: Hi,

I am 41, female, merried, no kids, living in Sydney Australia. Been an alcoholic since 21, and drinking 2 bottles of wine a night. I've had 2 periods of soberiety before of about 6 months, but I tried to cut down on alcohol.

After having a nervous breakdown a month ago (due to a friends that I had gone into buying a farm with turning nasty), I had a huge binge drnking episode and decided enough is enough. So, I'm trying to give up for good.

I've been 100% sober for 3 weeks, and haven't missed drinking at all. But the psychiastrist at the clinic I'm going to (have seen her twice), is insisting that I go for a 3 week inpatient detox followed by weekly 3 hour meetings plus AA meetings for the rest of my liife. The meetings are on nights and weekends, which is when I work.

In the mornings I drive 2 hours, work my horses for 3 hours, drive 2 hours to work, work till 9pm and come home. Sunday is my day off work and most of that time is with my horses.

The psychiatrist REALLY pressured me today, she said that if I don't go to these meetings then there is nothing that can be done for me. But I don't want to go, as:
* I really can't change my shifts at work, I'm a night supervisor and have to be there.
* I have looked at all AA meetinsg in my area, and if I was to attend one it means I'd have to give up my h
* I'm not a group therapy kind of person. I've tried it before and I HATE it. I really, really hate it.
* The 3 week inpatient thing is a detox, to get over all the physical withdrawls, but I've already been off alcohol for 3 weeks and had the withdrawls.
* I'd rather spend my free time playing with my animals, or knitting, or cleaning the house.

But mostly I don't want to feel that I am going to forever have to be shackled to group therapy. I mean, people who give up smoking don't spend the rest of their lives going to weekly meetings do they ? I like online forums like this, but just detest group sessions.

Up until today I had been going really well. The thought of not having a drink hasn't bothered me at all. Now however I'm desprate for a drink (won't have one theough), I'm so stressed out over this.

This happened before (same hopital, different psychatrist), and stopped attending as a result. I resented paying $300 a session to just argue about why I don't want to go to AA.

Any thoughts, experience or comments appreciated.

hi cat,interesting post,you have to make the choice,no one can force you to do anything you don t want to do,plus it doesnt say any where it affected your job,if that were the case,then they might be able to put force in place,im not a doctor,but ive seen lots in the past,mine only suggested,AA which doesnt work for all,detox youve seem to have done quite well on your own,if your gettin upset with the ideas from the doctor,it is time to get someone else or research alcholism on your own,that is what i did ,the internet holds tons of imformation,,i attended AA for 12 years,it was not for me,im a true believer if one is not inflicted with this ailment,hard to give advice,youve found here,and thats a bonus i hope you find what your looking for,:goodjob:gyco

[Guitarista]

Newbie - I don't want to do group therapy

G'day Pony,

Congratulations on your 30 day's af, and beyond. I know exactly where you are coming from, and exactly where the psychiatrist is coming from. A few pro's and con's here begging to be discussed. I'm happy to be a sounding board if you want to talk further.

Best wishes, Greg.