10 days af

[Brave Hearted]

Hi all 10 days af and its great to not have the headaches and all the other nonsesnce associated with drinking. BUT, I really must be a mentalist as al has bought me nothing but hurt, humiliation, heart ache, trouble and pain (and thats the edited list) but I actually miss drinking and feel a bit down that I cant drink ????????? Which is totally absurbed as I cound not count the amount of times I have prayed for the strength to stop drinking. Then on top of that I am feeling quiet angry towards my partner who is supporting me in not drinking as if he is stopping me for doing what I want , which is not the case at all it was my decision to be af and I have been coming on here trying to find a solution long before he came on the scene. I also feel angry towards him that he does not understand what it is like to have a al problem, he said the other day that whenever he has had a drink once he has had a couple and he starts to feel the effect he goes on coffee, why doesnt everybody do that ??????? I tried to explain that its just not like that for people like me and that we actually drink to get that feeling, he was totally mysified, lucky guy. I think I am expecting too much of him, thank goodness I can come on here. Is all this normal ???????.

[coalfire]

10 days af

I think that our inner alkie will always miss drinking. Some people call it the beast. Apparently he never leaves us which is what makes this journey so hard.Our logical minds know that drinking is ruining our lives and wants to stop. People talk about the battle with the bottle. I see it as being this battle between our beast and our rational selves. This ongoing battle is very tiring and thats why we need so much support. Some days we don't have to battle too hard. Other days it is hell from dawn to dusk. I have never met a "normie" yet who fully understands this battle. I think this is why alcoholics have always turned too each other for support.My advice would be to enjoy your partner for the other things he has to offer you in life but if you really want to be understood in your battle to stop drinking ,then have other alcoholics to turn to either here on MWO or in real life. Good luck.

[akgirl]

10 days af

We are always here for you Brave :l

I think its totally normal. Just part of the ups and downs and confusion of a normal life.....made worse by the whole AL thing.

Stay strong girl!!

[Lavande]

10 days af

Congrats on your 10 AF days Brave Hearted!

It is still early days for you. If you are anything like me it is going to take some time (months really) to get your thinking totally clear. Believe it or not you will actually begin to enjoy not drinking. Developing a practice of gratitude helps a lot. Make a list of the things in your life that you are grateful for now that you are sober. No hangovers, no guilt, no shame, no anxiety, no lying, no hiding bottles, money saved, etc. When you think about it the list is huge.

Best of all is your new found freedom!
It doesn't really matter what other people know or understand. What you know now is the important thing

Keep up the great work!
Lav

[spacebebe01]

10 days af

Well done Brave on 10 days! I know what you mean, spending years wanting to not drink then when eventually AF spending time craving a drink and resenting not drinking. I'm 3 weeks AF now and this morning have woken up and not thought about the fact that I am not drinking but yesterday I was a mess because I was craving a drink most of the day, also I was experiencing anxiety most of the day, so it was probably one thing feeding the other. I dont think I have ever met a "normie" that understands my drinking, after all it makes no sense to me why I do it so its not going to make sense to anyone else is it. Thats why being able to come on here and read and talk to others like us is so great and important.

Keep on going, your doing great

[mario]

10 days af

Well done BH as you well know it takes some time to feel the full benefits of being alcohol free, Imo unless the person themselfs have been through what you have been through, no matter how much they think they know they will never understand what we have gone/going through,Can you get your partner to read some books about it and try and give him an insight,keep working on yourself BH you will do it.

[Brave Hearted]

10 days af

All good advice thank you . I am finding that my anxiety levels are on the ceiling at the minute, hopefully that will subside once I am back on the bac. JUst taking each days as it comes going to venture out into the big wide world tonight for a meal ( nearly typed drink there !!! old habits die hard). I feel like I need to get back in the real world as its no good hiding indoor drink is all around us its the not having one that matters and I feel confident that I will not drink. But I am in danger of dying of bordom if we dont resume a social life.

I have decided to accept that I have my partner support and not worry about him understanding, he loves football I dont and I dont suspose he gives it a minutes thought why I dont get the whole football thing, we are just differant. My main support is on here and will continue to be.

Thank you all

BHxx

[Chillgirl]

10 days af

Hi BH - I'm sorry you are having a bad day, anxiety is not easy to deal with and I hope going out for dinner was a wise move in the circumstances. I wasn't as brave and didn't venture out for dinner till I'd been a month AF, for me it was too difficult to face without the wine list.

I love your analogy with your partner and football! That's a brilliant way to think of it. I get caught up in that trap too expecting people to know how I feel when of course that's just impossible. I will use your idea to be more tolerant. :thanks:

When anxiety hits we dont have any option other than to ride it out knowing this too shall pass, Lav's gratitude suggestion works wonders for me and we always have more to be grateful or than to complain about it's just we distort it out of proportion.

Today I had an extremely down day, my head was playing out a pity party for poor unfortunate little me. I was putting something away in a drawer when I came across my 1 year coin from AA. I immediately started to cry, not out of sadness but because there in the middle of all the crap was this little coin that reminds me how far I have come. How much I must have wanted sobriety, how much I fought for it and turned my life around. And that makes me realize I'm stronger than I think, that I can take on the bad days and the self pity moments because it's worth it.

[damo180]

10 days af

Hi Brave,
Congratulations on getting this far, it REALLY does get easier, stick with it and brave out those cravings.
I get very few cravings (80 days AF) now, but I/we need to still work on being sober. I had been drinking for the last 20 yrs, 10 quite heavily , so I feel it will take another while to get used to my new life. But I am really enjoying being sober now.
I would highly recommend exercise, anything at all, walking, running swimmimg or maybe learning something new.

Keep going Brave, you are doing really well.

Damo in Dublin

[damo180]

10 days af

spacebebe01;1082814 wrote: Well done Brave on 10 days! I know what you mean, spending years wanting to not drink then when eventually AF spending time craving a drink and resenting not drinking. I'm 3 weeks AF now and this morning have woken up and not thought about the fact that I am not drinking but yesterday I was a mess because I was craving a drink most of the day, also I was experiencing anxiety most of the day, so it was probably one thing feeding the other. I dont think I have ever met a "normie" that understands my drinking, after all it makes no sense to me why I do it so its not going to make sense to anyone else is it. Thats why being able to come on here and read and talk to others like us is so great and important.

Keep on going, your doing great

Well done Spacebebe,
You are well on your way. Those crappy days will lessen, and you have plenty more great days ahead of you. Congratulations on your 3 wks, and stick with it, you are doing fantastic.
Damo in Dublin