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The otherside of the hangover

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    The otherside of the hangover

    Hi all the sun is shinning here in the North of England, spring is on its way. I am feel tired but good today. But my anxiety is on the ceiling anybody have any suggestions how to deal with it ?.

    I had a thought today that all my years of drinking made me feel so miserable that being miserable is like a habit to me now, which I need to start to change. I have had some great advice on book and CD's to listne too. Has anybody else felt like that ??. Its like I am still putting myself through the wringer over drinker even though I am not doing it now !!! talk about making it hard for myself .

    Its almost like 'the other side of the hangover' could do with a good self help book from somebody who has been there thmeselves, giving some advice on what to expect and how to deal with it. I think I am like a lot of people I unrealsitically thought that stopping drinking (I do know its early days for me) would virtually transform me over night especially what goes through my mad, but now sober head !. If only, but I am smiling, learning, posting and remaining optomistic and bending everybodys ear on here everyday, it all gets me through !

    #2
    The otherside of the hangover

    BH I honestly think you are doing amazingly well. Remember it's baby steps, Rome wasnt built in a day

    You are doing all the right things, checking in, posting, being positive and optimistic. Lots of emotions surface in the 1st few weeks, it very normal for your mind to be all over the place. When you have these thoughts, try to see them as something outside of yourself, like a leaf blowing into your space briefly, then watch your thoughts drift on by like the leaf. We don't need to hold on to them, they are only thoughts and we can be aware of them and then let them go.

    Here is a blog I was sent today on inner peace and gratitude which may be useful.....
    Inner Peace & Gratefulness | VividLife.me
    "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
    AF - JAN 1st 2010
    NF - May 1996

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      #3
      The otherside of the hangover

      Hi BH. It sounds like you are doing really well! I know for me, AL was so dominant in my life that it took a LOT of change to build a life without it. So I think what you are going through is very, very normal. Misery was a habit for me too. One of my cycles which I used to justify my drinking was displeasure with others. When my husband or other family members "wronged" me, of COURSE I drank! "If you had all these miserable people in your life, YOU would drink TOO!" So much of that was just a head game I played with myself and others about my drinking.

      I have come to believe that PERCEPTION was a huge problem for me, and is something I still have to watch out for. I am learning to view the cup as half full rather than half empty. That has taken some effort!

      Coming here and reading, posting, sharing your thoughts and experiences is GREAT!!

      Chill, I really like that link.

      All the best to you BH!

      DG
      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


      One day at a time.

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        #4
        The otherside of the hangover

        Thank you both for that I loved the link chill. I have got a very heavy month work wise , so my plan is to get that out of the way and then look into some meditation technics, I may even try some hypnotherapy . But my man plan is to but a summer house put it in the garden and relax and let the sun rejuvinate me ! Dont think I have relaxed properly for years.

        BHxx

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          #5
          The otherside of the hangover

          Brave, I hope that your anxiety level is down a bit. It can be tough some days, and you must really be going through a lot, hang in there.

          Have you time to exercise, this may help a bit. I take fish oils, Omega Oils pill each day, and vitamin D.

          One of the things that gave me a lot of grief, and still does is the guilt over things I did while drinking. I am not sure if this is weighing on you or not. If so, time will help. Remember, we don't define our lifetime, and who we are as people, by one or two decisions. We can change who we are, and we can have a life after drinking, and we had a life before drinking.

          Hold fast, and I hope you feel better.
          Hill
          Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

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            #6
            The otherside of the hangover

            Hi Hill

            what you just wrote had reduced me to tears, you got it so right. The guilt of the things I have said and down ways so heavily on me that it just weighs me down and I cnat seem to get beyond them or forgive myself. Itsalso the consequences of things that I did inparticular I partner I lost because of my drinking, it still makes me very sad.

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              #7
              The otherside of the hangover

              :l to you BH, you are doing great.

              The only reason I am not beating myself up is because I have stopped....finally, and that's what counts. I can't change the past....but I can damn sure change the future!!
              :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

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                #8
                The otherside of the hangover

                BH, I think that sadness over things past is normal. :l I like what hillside had to say as well.

                The very very best way I have found to deal with my feelings about the past is to live better today. Without the burden of AL on my shoulders, I am free to make better choices and to be a better person. I don't have to define myself by my past. I am free to define myself by who I choose to be today.

                I find volunteer work to be very therapeutic. There are so many opportunities for this all around me - and I just wasn't paying attention when I was drunk all the time. Human shelters / food pantires, animal shelters, Big brothers/sisters, and even unique things like Mom's Cookies (a local grass roots group that started baking cookies and sending them to the troops abroad). "Giving" is really cathartic for me and helps me see myself as the person I am capable of being rather than the person I used to be when drunk all the time.

                I hope you have a really good and healing day today.

                DG
                Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                One day at a time.

                Comment


                  #9
                  The otherside of the hangover

                  Brave, I am so happy at the progress that you are making!! Also, I love that you are seeking insight into ways that you can change your "Thinking". IMO I think that is the KEY to living happily in sobriety! When I was drinking, I was forever living in the past.....arghhhh! Then, one day, after months of sobriety something just hit me!! Why was I inviting pain from the past into my life TODAY??? Yes, those things had happened, yes, they were horrible, painful etc. etc. etc.......but I was Free and I had worked hard to create a New Life, Free of the pain and abuse of the past. So, WHY did I continue to dwell on the Past. I DID Have a Choice!! So, little by little I began to reprogram my thoughts and today, I no longer carry around all of that garbage!! YEAH!!

                  Have a Wonderful Day/Evening, Brave!!! You Deserve It!!

                  xxKate
                  A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                  AF 12/6/2007

                  Comment


                    #10
                    The otherside of the hangover

                    Such profound word as always ! your support is amazing. I know I will find my way , what I plan to do is give myself time , it took well over thirty years to get in this mess, so a lttle time to unravel is too be expected.

                    BH

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                      #11
                      The otherside of the hangover

                      And ! Chill see you even have the wildlife meditating !! love that picture xx

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