Here's my story so far. When I first came to MWO, I wasn't sure where to turn, and what to expect, nor how to effectively use the forum. I didn't understand that if you need help, you need to start a thread and ask for it rather than responding on someone else's thread with your story - that's considered "hijacking" and bad form.
Another thing I didn't know was how anyone who appeared sober here, got there. I wanted to know the path, and how varied it was, in terms of success in moderating or going AF (alcohol free).
I was a binge drinker as a teen and went from beer in my teens and 20's to wine in my late 20's, to more wine in my 30's to scotch (boyfriends introduced it) around 35. I went to vodka for low-carbing purposes and it plowed me under. I started having GI problems in my early 30's from the wine, and everytime I had too much alcohol of any type, I'd have these problems. Popped Anti-Diarrheals like candy.
Lots of attempts to moderate (I'll just had half the bottle!), was able to in bursts but always went back spiraling out of control. Read the MWO book and came here a couple of years ago and used Topamax, the hypnotherapy, the aminos, Omega 3's and got free for a few days but felt I was missing out and had a beer and went back down the drain. Also the topa made my hair fall out so I then quit it.
Came here again 2 years later in 2010 and started posting, took a while to get warmed up, hooked up with a couple people by using the private mail feature here, which is great if you are looking to find friends in similar situations. My first MWO friend Neva said she was trying Baclofen, which I hadn't heard of, and she eventually quit AL. I tried it and my blood pressure skyrocketed at 80mg/day, exacerbating an existing condition.
I was also drinking heavily (1+1/2 bottle of wine, sometimes two bottles - or 1/2 liter vodka a night) and having terrible gut problems which had me worrying for my life, unable to breathe or drink water. Hitting the floor twice in a month for days at a time plus the support here plus the bac perhaps (still on 25mg/day) helped me to go AF for a few days. The support here can really help. Hitting your personal bottom can help you find your new self and redeem your life if you have lost it.
I find one of my biggest issues is regrets, envy, jealousy and depression about wasting my life - all are AL triggers and I am working on changing the thoughts in my head, helps alot once you get the hang of it.
So now I'm on a diet and I'm AF, in large part due to desperation - I'm turning 50 in a year or so and I cannot exist like this anymore. I'm going to lose the weight, control my drinking, and I'm going to be a positive force in the world for a change.
I'm not sure I will be AF forever, but I do know I have no self control around alcohol/AL. I do look forward to having a glass of wine with my friend or family someday, after I get this sugar addiction out of my system and heal my thoughts and body somewhat.
That's where I am today, my story for what it's worth. If you want more on my recent climb out of the dungeon, there's a thread called "Bruun's Titting Up" in the meds section.
Okay, whose next??? Post your story of your little or big successes.
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