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The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

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    #61
    The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

    Hi everyone, and thanks for the welcome. I have been on and off this site for years. I have had some good times and some not so good times. The good times are when I have not been drinking. I thank God that my husband and sons have loved me enough to put up with me. I have struggled with AL for a long time.

    Unfortunatly, I have a drug addict for a daughter that has made things even more of a challenge. I go through times when I wish I would die so I didn't have to see her destroy herself. I have self-medicated, as the doctors tell me...haha...I have blamed myself, her father, and our gene pool for her problems as well as my own. I have also been mad at God.

    In reality, I know we all have to go through tough times. I believe this is a test. I also believe I have been failing. I hope I am not loosing my mind, but I almost hear laughter when I screw up and alow myself to drink to the point of being drunk. I also have seen a smirk on my daughters face when I succumb to it. I have always had a vivid imagination, but I know I am at war with something I don't want to loose to.

    I have a new sence of power knowing I am in a spiritual struggle. I am going to look at alcohol as my personal poison.

    Comment


      #62
      The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

      Wow Buffy, what a poignant and heartfelt post. And let me add my welcome.
      In the spiritual sense, while those of us who believe sometimes THINK we are turning over our problems to God, we usually are still interjecting our own will and wants. For me, a born problem solver, it is the hardest thing to do. There have been a few times when I find perfect peace with how I live my life, and the problems we all face, but I do believe life is always a journey. We have to face each day, and do our best with it, or, at least for me, be overwhelmed.
      You sound like you understand your problems. Identifying them is usually the easy part. I hope you'll stay with us a while. There is strength in this group. And silliness, and tears, jokes and problems. But this is a great bunch.:welcome:
      sigpic
      Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
      awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

      Comment


        #63
        The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

        Want, :welcome: also! I can only imagine what you're going through, with the separation. I honestly don't know how my husband has stood the things I've put him through in the past. While I know regret is useless, I grieve for things I DID lose, and the damage I did. I hope you will let us help you, while you help us, OK?
        Grateful, glad to see you were able to post a bit today. I hope you are better soon, hon, but don't push yourself. Let someone take care of you for a while.
        Yes, the weather was wicked last night. I hate to think of the destruction some are facing today. I know when a storm is REALLY gonna be a doozy - Hub's jack ass russell welds herself to me shaking like a paint shaker. TMB tries to get in my lap, and while Tink doesn't seem to be afraid of the sounds, she doesn't like the other 2 taking up my attention. It's MUCH cooler here today too.
        Talked to Rog this morning, drinking his coffee in the parking lot of the seminar. That boy LOVES his coffee!
        Be safe, everyone.
        sigpic
        Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
        awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

        Comment


          #64
          The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

          Good Morning all - I hope that you weathered the storms that have been going through - I know they were wicked and I am glad that I had it first and got it over with before I knew we were getting it!!!

          Want to stop - your story is so sad - the one thing that popped into my mind reading it was..... Antabuse! You have probably read about it on this forum and as long as you pop it regularly, you just cannot drink - it takes away the problem of 'shall I?" and that awful decision time. Or you could try Topa, which I had some luck with last year - when I took it properly and was 8 months AF ! I am modding now but think about going back to AF now and then and am back to taking the Topa and right now am titrating up. Others have had success with AA. You have got to a point in your life where you are losing everything - you MUST beat this now or it will continue in a downward spiral. Have you talked to your doc?? Do you have a plan? The support system that you have - can they help you stop? Please stay with us and we will give you support too ...... hugs to you :l:l

          Buffy - sorry for your situation - so hard. You sound like a strong person though and deal with it as best as you can. Stick with us!!

          Hill - yes, I have worked a pretty hard week - but I am off today! I am also taking vacation from Friday too for a week and a bit.

          Grateful - poor you! Did you have the flu? Are you feeling better? I so wish I lived nearer (how many times do we say that?). Just keep resting, get plenty of fluids, and take care of yourself.

          Jan - be careful driving in the storm - it was so wicked! Hopefully you are okay - and once it passes, the weather is lovely!!

          Bird - oh dear - the 3rd time the shed has gone over?? Maybe Rog has an idea of how you can tether it some way so it won't happen again? Is it hard to get it sorted out? Hopefully the rest of you all survived okay? Vicki - did all your delicate plants survive it? Ruby - how about you? the dogwood? The new roof??

          I need to get going...... Rog, look forward to hearing about the seminar.

          Take care all, bye for now, hugs,

          Sun XX
          How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

          Comment


            #65
            The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

            Cross post Ruby - well sort of anyway - took me a while to type mine and when it was posted yours was there!! LOl

            hugs to you XX
            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

            Comment


              #66
              The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

              Everything here is intact, but again we didn't get the worst of the storm. Feel bad for those that did.



              sigpic
              Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
              awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

              Comment


                #67
                The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

                Welcome, Buffy and Want! We are so happy to have you join in our little family, where we share laughter, tears, encouragement and oh yes, pics! Ruby, yours were beautiful! We had a horrible storm last night, too! Me and Chloe stayed in the closet for the most part. My delicate plants survived, but tonight and tomorrow night, it is suppose to be 38 which will stunt their growth, if not kill them. I hope not. I would hate to have to replant all that stuff! Yes, Hill, my husband grows everything HOT and he makes lots of hot sauce and salsa. Grateful, I am so sorry you have been sick. I knew something was wrong, after not hearing from you and I should have called to check on you. I do hope you feel better today. Roger, I am praying that the seminar is interesting and helpful to you. Buffy, did you order that book I told you about? It will help you and your daughter so much! I've been a drug addict and you have to remember that your daughter's drug addiction is no one's fault and she will most likely hit bottom before she can be helped and as long as you help her not to hit bottom, she will drag you, herself and everyone else who loves her down with her! If you pm me your address, I will send the book to you. I will also be praying for you and for her. Want, we all fall down. It took many times for me to fall before I got strong enough to stand. You will find nothing but compassion and encouragement here, so please let us help you. We are always so excited to have new ones come into our family and you are safe here. We only want to love and help you! I've got to run, got a eye dr appt in a bit. Just wanted you all to know I survived the storms and to tell each one of you how much I love you and hope you all have a GREAT day! Love, Vicki
                I'm not what I should be, I'm not what I could be. I'm definetly not who I want to be,
                but I'm sure not who I used to be!

                There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still.

                "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME." Phil 4:13

                Comment


                  #68
                  The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

                  It just aint done till' the paper work is ! Howdy all ! Pretty flower Rubes ! Sunshine bear.....how ya' doing don't get to converse with you much .........SOS....Take care Hon'. Hope all of you are doing well. Take care Jammers ! Tony
                  ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                  those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                  Dr. Seuss

                  Comment


                    #69
                    The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

                    Hi Tony - I am doing just fine thank you - so are you right??? I have a day off today which has been wonderful, then I work two days then I have a week and a bit off! SO looking forward to it! How is the wife's leg??? How are things going with the training? Nice to see you here - you don't pop in as much as you used to - I miss seeing your silly posts! LOL hugs to you, take care,

                    love, Sun XXXXX
                    How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                    Comment


                      #70
                      The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

                      I am home and survived the weather....Sunni you are right, it was much nicer later, but CHILLY!!
                      Typical crazy day, but all in all it was good.
                      Vicki, I hate to think of you crammed in a closet all night with all your pain.
                      Buffy and Want....nice to see you posting and we will be here for you.
                      Rog - hope the seminar went well
                      Off to fine some dinner.
                      I love you all...Rubes ...take care of the puppies!!
                      I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                      Live in the Solution....not the problem

                      Comment


                        #71
                        The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

                        I did a bad, bad, thing: Had to pick up Hubs after he dropped his truck off for work, and we went on to Dairy Queen. I ate a small cheeseburger, a couple of onion rings, and a small vanilla milkshake. My stomach didn't know what to make of that food!!!
                        Glad everyone got through the storms. 37 years ago yesterday the US had the worst outbreak ever of tornadoes. We had 4 people killed by the storms in Georgia yest, one a 6-y-o boy, so I take them seriously, and LOVE my basement at the cabin when they come over.
                        Reading up on propagating bushes right now. Will share with you, MB.
                        sigpic
                        Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                        awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                        Comment


                          #72
                          The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

                          Sunshine....the wife is doing better, she went back to work on Monday after about 10 weeks. I'm still helping her out though....Ha! ( Now that she knows what I can do ! Ha! ) Work is great....have about 2 more months on this work training program.....will start applying for jobs soon. This place ( MT Sinai Hospital) is one of the 100 best places to work according to Forbes Magazine. I like the people their....will give them a try . Hope everyone keeps Jammin" Tony"
                          ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                          those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                          Dr. Seuss

                          Comment


                            #73
                            The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

                            ruby - I ask you a question - do Dairy queen sell "A couple Of Onion Rings?" - OR, are we, in our old age, deluding ourselves????? Won't comment further........ I have never been able to buy 'a couple'.

                            Thanks for the update Tony - good to hear!! Is there a chance that you might be able to get a job there? That would be great!!

                            I have just baked some courgette cheese tomato muffins and they smell lovely! Also done a raspberry layer cake to take in to work tomorrow. I am now going to go and iron for the next at least two hours before heading for bed! love and hugs to all,

                            Sun XXXX
                            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                            Comment


                              #74
                              The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

                              WELL IM HOME and gopt everutmh dont tjhats mneed t be don ad dfor the seminar went well and ias as many question as a could thomg kive n hgs
                              :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                              best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

                              Comment


                                #75
                                The Journey begins here...So Get your ass in gear for april

                                Rog, you're tired again, aren't you? Even I'M having trouble decipering your language tonight!! :H

                                A couple of links to our cabin area, hoping to stir some more interest!!
                                Sautee Nacoochee Center
                                Helen, Georgia | Helen - White County Convention & Visitors Bureau
                                Anna Ruby Falls, Helena Georgia
                                sigpic
                                Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                                awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                                Comment

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