Hi everyone, and thanks for the welcome. I have been on and off this site for years. I have had some good times and some not so good times. The good times are when I have not been drinking. I thank God that my husband and sons have loved me enough to put up with me. I have struggled with AL for a long time.
Unfortunatly, I have a drug addict for a daughter that has made things even more of a challenge. I go through times when I wish I would die so I didn't have to see her destroy herself. I have self-medicated, as the doctors tell me...haha...I have blamed myself, her father, and our gene pool for her problems as well as my own. I have also been mad at God.
In reality, I know we all have to go through tough times. I believe this is a test. I also believe I have been failing. I hope I am not loosing my mind, but I almost hear laughter when I screw up and alow myself to drink to the point of being drunk. I also have seen a smirk on my daughters face when I succumb to it. I have always had a vivid imagination, but I know I am at war with something I don't want to loose to.
I have a new sence of power knowing I am in a spiritual struggle. I am going to look at alcohol as my personal poison.
Comment