Army Thread Friday 8th April

[InChains]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

i'm startign to wonder whether i'm here for thee rigth reasons, you knwot hat phrase 'going through the motions' - that would be me. My first day fo really trying to sort myself out was supposed to be monday, funny thing is I never planned anything for it, or even specified what I intended to do. I should know myself by now, know better...

sorry to be emo on you all, but I trust you guys to be honest

[cymru]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

KT. I dont know if its of any help but ive done something this time around that has helped greatly I think. When I 1st stopped after a huge 2 month(!!!) binge, I wrote down(as best I could with a broken wrist and the shakes!) how I was feeling about myself, my physical symptoms and mental, and where I wanted to be after 30 days. I have looked back on that piece of paper time and time again and it has helped me focus on the here and now. The present, and why im not drinking, why I DONT WANT to and what will happen if I do.
I have also started keeping a diary that im writing in daily, and after nearly 5 weeks, its amazing to see how much ive done in so little time. Not just being sober, but living rather than existing. Ive enjoyed reading about my ever so short journey again and again, and its really helped me keep focused.
Same with cravings and temptations. Writing them down to look at and deal with so I know what to do next time they come knocking.
As I say, its working for me, and may not be your cupa tea, but just thought id mention it.

[kitty72]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

KTAB;1094372 wrote: Haha Oneys well able to look after herself no worries, anyway reggies a top bloke I was only having a laugh.
Gave me a good laugh too.

InChains;1094374 wrote: i'm startign to wonder whether i'm here for thee rigth reasons, you knwot hat phrase 'going through the motions' - that would be me. My first day fo really trying to sort myself out was supposed to be monday, funny thing is I never planned anything for it, or even specified what I intended to do. I should know myself by now, know better...

sorry to be emo on you all, but I trust you guys to be honest

Dont Inchy! Stay with us eh? Come on, look at some of us here right now, KT, Me and Cy have been there and slipped up A LOT

Dont get.... no pryde (my own forum's slang for drunk...)

And commit board suicide....

(A song someone... a v nice Irishman wrote for me once lol! It's on my phone Cy, you'd piss at it- He has a great voice though!)

I almost did the other day didnt I?



OK, I am being a muppet - How the FECK do I d/l a song directly to my iphone? :H - All the songs I had on there were originally transferred from my PC to my phone..... I know it must be obvious somewhere.......

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

InChains;1094374 wrote: i'm startign to wonder whether i'm here for thee rigth reasons, you knwot hat phrase 'going through the motions' - that would be me. My first day fo really trying to sort myself out was supposed to be monday, funny thing is I never planned anything for it, or even specified what I intended to do. I should know myself by now, know better...

sorry to be emo on you all, but I trust you guys to be honest
Don't worry about going all emo, hun. Let's get you all AF instead.

cymru;1094376 wrote: KT. I dont know if its of any help but ive done something this time around that has helped greatly I think. When I 1st stopped after a huge 2 month(!!!) binge, I wrote down(as best I could with a broken wrist and the shakes!) how I was feeling about myself, my physical symptoms and mental, and where I wanted to be after 30 days. I have looked back on that piece of paper time and time again and it has helped me focus on the here and now. The present, and why im not drinking, why I DONT WANT to and what will happen if I do.
I have also started keeping a diary that im writing in daily, and after nearly 5 weeks, its amazing to see how much ive done in so little time. Not just being sober, but living rather than existing. Ive enjoyed reading about my ever so short journey again and again, and its really helped me keep focused.
Same with cravings and temptations. Writing them down to look at and deal with so I know what to do next time they come knocking.
As I say, its working for me, and may not be your cupa tea, but just thought id mention it.

I think this post could apply to you too Inchy. What to you think.

[Cassia]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

Damn masters on radio 5! I want Steve Nolan!!!

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

I imagine you are here because you want to stop the madness, thats why I keep coming back. Took me weeks this time to stop the distorted thinking that comes with daily drinking, the thoughts that say its fine carry on, sure what harm will a couple of drinks do. Fortunately I know better but it isnt always easy for us to see that through the foggy haze of AL and at times we just dont want to see the truth anyway. Its great that you are here Chains, dont ever give up ok?

[kitty72]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

cymru;1094376 wrote: KT. I dont know if its of any help but ive done something this time around that has helped greatly I think. When I 1st stopped after a huge 2 month(!!!) binge, I wrote down(as best I could with a broken wrist and the shakes!) how I was feeling about myself, my physical symptoms and mental, and where I wanted to be after 30 days. I have looked back on that piece of paper time and time again and it has helped me focus on the here and now. The present, and why im not drinking, why I DONT WANT to and what will happen if I do.
I have also started keeping a diary that im writing in daily, and after nearly 5 weeks, its amazing to see how much ive done in so little time. Not just being sober, but living rather than existing. Ive enjoyed reading about my ever so short journey again and again, and its really helped me keep focused.
Same with cravings and temptations. Writing them down to look at and deal with so I know what to do next time they come knocking.
As I say, its working for me, and may not be your cupa tea, but just thought id mention it.

My AA friend wasnt sure I was turning up today, so she didnt get me the diary for my BDay until she saw I was turning up. She suggested this to me too and I think it's a great idea. I told her I cant be there Monday cos of interview but she's bringing it next Friday

[cymru]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

IC. Only you can answer if you WANT to stop, rather than just know you have to. Theres a huge difference there for me. My experience is that I have always failed because I knew I had to stop, that alc was ruining my life, but deep down I didnt really want to. I wanted to forget. To fall into oblivion. It was my excuse to be a release.
But stopping this time, im having to make changes and that very important to me. Not just stop and hope I dont start again, but implementing changes daily to change the person I am today. Its not been easy at times, and im not going to please everyone, but I go to bed at night with a clear concience. Im trying so hard not to put all that shit ive built up to the back of my mind. Again. Its got to come out for me to move on. And im being honest, its not fucking easy, cause theres alot of shit to shovel after nearly 20 yrs of drinking. But I just try and do my bit each day.
Its diff for me with bill after bill and demand after demand coming through my door cause ive just blocked it all out along with all the personal stuff. But it aint going away, so im just trying my best.
Could be on the floor blacked out this time next week. Who knows if im doing it right. But im trying.
Dont know if that helped, and I can waffle for Wales, but.....

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

Thank you Cy, I do write stuff down, problem is when the dust settles after a week/month/two months I tend to think I was over exaggerating the severity of the situation or maybe I just become complacent and allow the thoughts of a cold beer to become all encompassing. Either ways I am learning all the time and am far better equipped to cope this time round I feel/hope.

[InChains]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

thanks eveyrone, i don't really know what to say at the minute, my minds a bit... scrambled. I just submitted an application to a charity in attempt to find my father, my mother thinks he's dead. I haven't seen him since I was 10 and my brothers been really upset about our relationship with him lately. So I don't know what uncertainty is about that and whats about drinking and whats just... I don't know really. I'm rambling this evening, too much on my mind

[kitty72]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

Fab post Cy, they should really enable the reputation points system on this forum... you'd have got mega for that.

After 4 months of not working, binge drinking all the way through December and constantly slipping in and out of sobriety since then Inchy, Ive kind of got fed up with myself and my stupid low self esteem issues. When I am sober I am a really nice person,I know I am and it's time to keep that person with me. That's why I WANT to stop this time. Can you relate at all?

[cymru]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

Kitty...Press the purple iTunes on your phone, write the song u want, press buy, put your password in and it will download.

[kitty72]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

cymru;1094390 wrote: Kitty...Press the purple iTunes on your phone, write the song u want, press buy, put your password in and it will download.

Cheers Cy, it was on the 4th screen in! I must have moved it around.....Duh!

Mmm... when was I downloading Big Audio Dynamite FFS? :H .... A while ago obviously and prob er.... well.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

Sounds like you really have your head in the right space Cy.

Kitty I have an app called soundhound, its brilliant, have you heard of it?

[cymru]

Army Thread Friday 8th April

Just downloaded it KT. Good call. Looks a really useful app.