Anyone stumble in the beginning?

[Bluemoon]

I was doing so well. It felt good not to drink. It felt good not to think about it. It felt good to sleep. The kudzu was working. And, I couldn't think of one good reason to drink. But, I did anyway.

I went to work - I'm a flight attendant - and thought about it all the way home. Night flight from South America. Couldn't stop thinking about it: get in early. Take a nap. Wake to the warm sun and have far too much wine. I couldn't answer "why". I deliberately ignored the question.

So many of the posts are encouraging in their continued success, but I'm wondering if there was any stumbling in the beginning? I feel as if I'm trying to turn a moving freight train on a dime; or at least, trying to rein one.

The book and kudzu are the only two elements I've started. Woke up this morning, and before burying my head back under the covers, ordered some supps and Topa. I'd like to get back to where I was even five days ago - when I wasn't thinking about it.

And, as a "newbie" I hope I am not stepping on any toes by starting a new thread. I'm just hoping for a bit of input.
:thankyou:

[Andy1111]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

stumbles happen. don't dwell on the past and start fresh today...one hour at a time

[Newyear]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Hi Blue-

Kate is so right - stumbling is in the majority

I think what has kept me from stumbling lately is the 'next day'. When I think about drinking, before I can come up with why I should go ahead and do it, I picture myself the next morning. It has stopped me cold a number of times.
Get back in there! Best of luck.
Lisa

[Dipsa]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Try, try again

I had a tough time making it work until I had all the elements in place. Not that I'm an old pro or anything, but I'm on Day 8 of taking Topamax along with all the supplements and the hypno CDs and finding it's going much more smoothly for me than it did for the first couple weeks with just the kudzu and a couple other supplements, when I was so eager to get started that I tried before I had everything, and it didn't go the way I had hoped. Now I'm very pleased with how very little I'm drinking, how very little I crave, how less every day...

Please assemble everything you need, pick a day to start and try again, and use that lovely way you write to check in often and keep us posted how it's going for you.

[Newstart]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Hang in There

Hello Blue

I know exactly how you feel. After getting started with the book and sups, I stumbled badly a couple times and woke up feeling so bad the next day(hang over extreme!) I just could not fathom the why?. But I have stuck with it, and the Topa has definately helped me, in addition to the helping with the craving, for me it makes beer and ales, (my drink of choice ) taste horrible!, and thats a good thing! So stay with it, and you will succeed!
Check in here as often as you can, lots of great people here to help
Take care,
Dan

[Helensback]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Greetings fellow stumblers

Hi

Yup I was doing great too - no Topa, but supps, CD's and book. I did the 30 day abs (a little over that actually) and then gradually started to moderate.
Then gradually started to drink more. Then I stopped smoking and landed smack on my face.
That was 2 1/2 months ago and I've been trying to moderate ever since.
It just ain't working for me. "Three beers" turns into "way too many" every time.
Today was day one of abs for at least the next month and then perhaps I'll revisit moderation - perhaps not.
My doctor has poohed poohed Topa but if I really push it, she'll cave in I think. I'm going to try it the way I did before and if I'm finding it very hard, I'll push the doc.

I just have to beat this bloody thing and I can't give up until I do.

That's simply the bottom line for me.

Helen

[Guest]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Sorry to speak out of turn, because I am new

But , to Give Up is a really hard task. And if you are lucky enough to do so so , then it is a reaally hard road to sobrietry.

But everyone here has given me so much inspiration. Yes I will try try and try again.

No drink this morning

Thats good ( I think ) my body isn't happy though !!!

And Helen... Hang in there You have been fabulous XXXX

Love to all here

Cait

[wwbarb]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Usually when we stumble, we are looking for something that we had when we reached for the wine (or poison of choice) before. It's like breaking up with a jerk. After a while, you forget all the terrible things that (s)he did and only remember the very few good memories of him/her and magnify them 1000%. Then you call them and decide to give it one more try.

Helen, I did exactly the same thing. I quit for over 30 days. Over the next two weeks, I had two drinks and did quite well. Then I decided to "moderate". What the hell does that mean. I know the technical definition but just wasn't applying it.

Observe and act on what you learn about yourself. Life is too short to waste it with regrets.

[wwbarb]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

This is one of my favorite poems. Very appropriate to the topic.


AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

by Portia Nelson


I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.

[middlepathpilgrim]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Hey Blue. Yep, I started out in July and did very well moderating until September when I not only stumbled, I crash landed. Had to get clear with myself that I was headed back down the road I did not want to go if I didn't get it together quick. I've pulled it back together...cds, supps... but because of other medications will forgo the Topamax this time for at least a week or so to see if the other meds are working. (SAD--seasonal affect, gets me every time.) Exercise? I'm having a time fitting into my day. No excuses.

As a wise friend pointed out, "You're making MWO a daily part of your life. That's a big improvement there."

Hang in there. It is a change that takes time and practice. I view each stumble as a learning experience if only to learn that I don't want to be there.

Best to you. I'm going to put on my walking clothes and get some exercise.

Gloria

[stillcrawling]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Terrific posts and very valuable for me. I find when I lose focus and am no longer present that is when I slip... I had two months AF and then it crept back up... everyone is so supportive here it is amazing... I am new & hope I can provide the same support to you all... B.

[Dipsa]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Great poem, wwbarb! Definitely right on the money!

[Bluemoon]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Thank you all.

[Bluemoon]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Oh -
Topa
I got an RX from my doc. But, my insurance refused. I ordered online (riverphamacy - as recommended in another post) and intend to follow the guidelines in the book.
Without the insurance, the Topa is cheaper online.

[theislandbaby]

Anyone stumble in the beginning?

Love the Poem

Isn't that the truth! Good poem!

I think most stumble. I am one to admit it. I had two drinks on Saturday with my mother. She left the bottle here after I had told her to please take it. As soon as she left, I dumped the rest out. I would of finished it if I weren't so panicked at the moment.

Just keep on trying! Quit, quit, quit until the quit becomes the habit and not the reaching for a drink. That is my motto.

Hang in there, you are doing wonderfully!:l