Hi all,
I have not posted for a while because I was thinking yeah, everything is going well. Thing is I started drinking again socially after a LONG time off. All was well, I didn't forget anything, everything was pretty good. (Bar of course the huge amount of money I was wasting). Then it happened, I had a night with friends, completely can't remember a damn thing (aside from say the first few hours) and it has pretty much shocked me back into coherence.
I have been at this point before and dealt with it by drinking the next day to cover my shame, guilt, fear etc. I am NOT going down that same path again - I tried modding and failed so I am going to have to really kiss it goodbye.
When I stand back and look nearly every mistake in my life I owe to alcohol in one way or another, so why do I crave it so? It's just insane.
So anyway like I say I have been pretty good until I hit a wall two days ago, I Could have a social beer (1xbeer) and not go to overboard. Hitting the wall though may have been the best thing that has happened to me in a way because I can't go through it again. I can't stand the unnerving feeling the next day plus it is so bad for my health.
So... I have been sober for 2 days now.
Yesterday - I was happy with my sobriety because it allowed me to see things for what they were
Today - Is the second day in a life long quest and I finally think I am truly ready.
I don't like the person I am under the influence anymore. I really don't.
I thought maybe people who are starting out could come in here and post why their days were good due to NOT having alcohol being a part of them. I think it would serve as good motivation / reflection. I know it will for me.
I have not posted for a while because I was thinking yeah, everything is going well. Thing is I started drinking again socially after a LONG time off. All was well, I didn't forget anything, everything was pretty good. (Bar of course the huge amount of money I was wasting). Then it happened, I had a night with friends, completely can't remember a damn thing (aside from say the first few hours) and it has pretty much shocked me back into coherence.
I have been at this point before and dealt with it by drinking the next day to cover my shame, guilt, fear etc. I am NOT going down that same path again - I tried modding and failed so I am going to have to really kiss it goodbye.
When I stand back and look nearly every mistake in my life I owe to alcohol in one way or another, so why do I crave it so? It's just insane.
So anyway like I say I have been pretty good until I hit a wall two days ago, I Could have a social beer (1xbeer) and not go to overboard. Hitting the wall though may have been the best thing that has happened to me in a way because I can't go through it again. I can't stand the unnerving feeling the next day plus it is so bad for my health.
So... I have been sober for 2 days now.
Yesterday - I was happy with my sobriety because it allowed me to see things for what they were
Today - Is the second day in a life long quest and I finally think I am truly ready.
I don't like the person I am under the influence anymore. I really don't.
I thought maybe people who are starting out could come in here and post why their days were good due to NOT having alcohol being a part of them. I think it would serve as good motivation / reflection. I know it will for me.