I thought i'd just check in as i haven't for a while. I'm still here.. still sober =P Although i did have to make a speech at my best friends wedding and was given a glass of champaign just as i made a toast.. i was handed the glass to raise ect ect.. spilt second desion... i had the smallest sip you could imagine, i don't think i even swolled,it just touched my lips so i guess it really doesn't count BUT one good thing has come out of it.. i no longer count the days, months and weeks. I just go on and on without thinking about it as i don't know whether to count that or not so what the hell, no point counting anymore.
I have to say, although i've only had 3 hours sleep last night, even tho im still not at work (being forced to take sick leave until they find me a position i can do without manual handling) Even tho the house purchase IS STILL NOT COMPLETED, although close.. very close, contacts signed, just waiting to exchange... I'm doing amazily. I'm loving life! i've had bad news as well, my son has got to have key hole heart surgery, he's only one year old bless him but he has a whole inhis heart that needs closing. Instead of doing what i used to do.. down my sorrows with drink.. i just let my emtions flow.. i cried constantly for 2 full days and then done my reasearch and now feel very positive about the situation. Well as positive as you can.
I'm soaking up the love from my 2 babies =P sucking up all the energy and happiness they boom out and enjoying my life. It's been well over 6 months since i last had a real drink, since i was last drunk, since i last stayed awake in the middle of the night loathing myself, hating myself, since i lied to hubby, begged for his forgivness,since i felt like a shit mother and i would NEVER EVER EVER GO BACK, never! I love it. I love life. yes, it shit at times, it's hard, it's tiring, it's constant work but when you live it and embrase it without AL, it's truely beautiful.
Anyway, i'm just posting incase anyone had wondered where i was and also to say HI to all my lovely people out there. I hope everyone is doing good and enjoying this beautiful weather..
well i better go... washing, ironing,housework and a cv to do BUT A CUP OF TEA FIRST..
BYE XXX
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