hypernova, i understand depression.i take an anti depressant prescribed after self harming landed me in hospital. When i first started on it i was still drinking heavily and still got very depressed. after i stopped/cut down on the al i felt so much better. the al was negating the effects of the pill. now i got to that point by not taking the choice to a) go to the docs for depression and b)drinking heavily. have you discussed how you feel with the doctor. i didnt dare do that and unfortunately it got taken out of my hands after being in hospital, i couldnt deny it anymore. if you havent already why not try taking that big step of asking for help. i totally get that you dont choose to drink.... just looking for relief from the pain/misery. me too. but as every here tells us... drinking just makes it worse. and good luck with day 1 af... and look forward to day 2.
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hypernova, i understand depression.i take an anti depressant prescribed after self harming landed me in hospital. When i first started on it i was still drinking heavily and still got very depressed. after i stopped/cut down on the al i felt so much better. the al was negating the effects of the pill. now i got to that point by not taking the choice to a) go to the docs for depression and b)drinking heavily. have you discussed how you feel with the doctor. i didnt dare do that and unfortunately it got taken out of my hands after being in hospital, i couldnt deny it anymore. if you havent already why not try taking that big step of asking for help. i totally get that you dont choose to drink.... just looking for relief from the pain/misery. me too. but as every here tells us... drinking just makes it worse. and good luck with day 1 af... and look forward to day 2.Today is the tomorrow i worried about yesterday and it turned out fine
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There obviously is no mind shifting way to choose other than to simply "choose" or, at least, that's the feedback consensus I interpret from these responses. I love the sincerity I find on these forums but I think I was looking for some answer that was more specialist (or esoteric), and therefore something more elusive in my quest.
I really am on a mission to find the nugget that will shift my brain from victim to worthy/scumcunt to valid. Sorry for the profanity. I don't think I'll be perusing MWO much longer anyway (and that's not a pathetic passive request for people to say stay because I REALLY DON'T WANT THAT anymore). I think I need to go to AA or beg my GP for an appointment with someone half my age who has trained in government sanctioned Tony Robbins psychology and gets paid 6 quid an hour.
Blessed are the meek for they shall be shafted!
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rubywillow;1111857 wrote: QT, my oldest, best friend's husband quit smoking the day his father died of lung cancer. My father quit AL and tobacco after his first major medical experience. Others I knew, one who died a few months ago, continued on their chosen, self-harming path, to the end. It is so complicated. No one has THE answer. Support is the best, but it is, ultimately, the most personal of choices in battles. I can say that tho we have to live in reality, negativity will keep us unhappy, and ultimately destroy our lives.
Support is wonderful especially here with you people. Now I went and got all mushy too....:H
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