feel like i don't belong here

[dove]

almost deleted this and didn't post it but....then thought i would like opinions...that i know i will get here!...feel free to yell at me...we are somewhat (mostly) invisible on here so say what you want!

so...going through this again...came back here because have had a rough time the last few months in terms of getting really drunk once a week and not remembering the end of the night...for me that typically ends up being 8-10 drinks bc i drink fast and continue to order stronger drinks as the night goes on.

however, when i come here and read and see everything that everyone here has been through...lost family, friends, loss of use of your own body as it once was...etc, etc....i wonder WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE???!!! i don't have near the problems many of you have had and when i hear your stories of, 'don't keep going because you will end up like us', i really just shrug it off. 'yeah, right!', i say. i am in my mid thirties, no kids, awesome marriage, worked really hard to get where i am in my career with the same drinking habits i have always had and now have an awesome career, families (mine and hubby's) that totally love and support me even when they have seen me WASTED drunk!!!

i read all your stories about tons of beer and liters of wine and booze...week or month long benders...life long benders....tremors and seizures when trying to stop...rehab... and know that i can't even COMPETE with your stories except for the amount of guilt felt over being so drunk some nights. but then i think...'but, don't REGULAR drinkers get so drunk some nights they regret what they did??!!!' and i really believe the answer is yes, i think they do...SO WHY AM I WASTING ALL OF YOU PEOPLE'S GOOD TIME AND ENERGY BLABBING MY STUPID LITTLE STORY?

i'm sorry for wasting all of your good people's time. you are all a great group of people and i am so proud of you for getting out of the grip of this addiction. i just think i need to take a step back and stop feeling so sorry for myself.

Dove

[hart]

feel like i don't belong here

(((Dove))) If you were feeling so sure of yourself and that you don't have a problem....you would not be here.

You realize that your drinking is effecting your life, the lives of your loved ones, and that you do not want that.

You realize that being drunk once a week is not a usual thing. No most people do not do that. Being drunk is an exception not a rule.

Being here does not hurt you. It does not waste your time or ours. Maybe something you read by one of us, or an occasion u r drunk and do something you are ashamed of, something will pull the switch. And when you are ready to commit to quit, we will be here for you. You have nothing to lose by keep coming here and when you are ready, you have everything to gain. :l

[DriftyAlison0]

feel like i don't belong here

I am in a similar boat myself with being here and none of the stuff that the others have gone through. But I want to prevent myself from heading down that road.

[caysea]

feel like i don't belong here

Hi All
Check out the site Drinkers Check Up might be helpful.

[CS04]

feel like i don't belong here

Dove, you have been around MWO almost as long as I have. And I still struggle. So there is no shame in "issues and tissues" as my teenager calls them.

I too feel sometimes like I don't belong here, because I am not doing enough to make myself well. But we are a community, no? So we WILL benefit each other.

Please PM me and let's talk.

[startingover]

feel like i don't belong here

Stay here Dove. Not everyone gets it immediately. If you feel better by checking in, use this place. It doesnt matter about your reasons for drinking, dont try and compare yourself to everyone else. We are all different x

[nicelife]

feel like i don't belong here

I guess you feel that you'll never end up like one of us. That what you do is no way near as horrid as the stories here. Binge drinking isn't normal and being so wasted (whether it is once a week or once a month) isn't the way of a 'normal' drinker. I used to think I was 'normal' too. Fasten your seat belt - the ride gets rough!! Take no passengers on the trip - it won't be any fun at all. Said with much respect and kindness.

[mario]

feel like i don't belong here

Dove maybe at the moment you dont want to stop, Have you tried to moderate and control your drinking ? There is a moderating thread here why dont you drop in there and see how you get on.Only you know whether you have a problem or not and as starting over has said we are all very different here.Ps Its not a good idea to be comparing what you & others drink here,it effects us all differently, goodluck

[dove]

feel like i don't belong here

yeah maybe i am in denial but i really don't see myself going the way of the over the top alcoholic...who knows maybe i will someday. maybe that is the purpose of me being here...to keep in check.

[Guest]

feel like i don't belong here

dove;1115806 wrote: almost deleted this and didn't post it but....then thought i would like opinions...that i know i will get here!...feel free to yell at me...we are somewhat (mostly) invisible on here so say what you want!

so...going through this again...came back here because have had a rough time the last few months in terms of getting really drunk once a week and not remembering the end of the night...for me that typically ends up being 8-10 drinks bc i drink fast and continue to order stronger drinks as the night goes on.

however, when i come here and read and see everything that everyone here has been through...lost family, friends, loss of use of your own body as it once was...etc, etc....i wonder WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE???!!! i don't have near the problems many of you have had and when i hear your stories of, 'don't keep going because you will end up like us', i really just shrug it off. 'yeah, right!', i say. i am in my mid thirties, no kids, awesome marriage, worked really hard to get where i am in my career with the same drinking habits i have always had and now have an awesome career, families (mine and hubby's) that totally love and support me even when they have seen me WASTED drunk!!!

i read all your stories about tons of beer and liters of wine and booze...week or month long benders...life long benders....tremors and seizures when trying to stop...rehab... and know that i can't even COMPETE with your stories except for the amount of guilt felt over being so drunk some nights. but then i think...'but, don't REGULAR drinkers get so drunk some nights they regret what they did??!!!' and i really believe the answer is yes, i think they do...SO WHY AM I WASTING ALL OF YOU PEOPLE'S GOOD TIME AND ENERGY BLABBING MY STUPID LITTLE STORY?

i'm sorry for wasting all of your good people's time. you are all a great group of people and i am so proud of you for getting out of the grip of this addiction. i just think i need to take a step back and stop feeling so sorry for myself.

Dove

Hey Dove

Only you can decide.

[rubywillow]

feel like i don't belong here

Whatever your reason for being here, you are. Ask yourself why.
NEVER compare yourself to what others have been through. From the outside, my life looked perfect. I can't even tell you the advantages I've had. But since the late 90's, until I came here, it was a wicked, ugly, spiral. My saving grace? I had people who loved me, knew me, depended on me. And MWO. Where I found people who not only care (maybe love) me, but people who understood.
This is your choice. No one is ever a waste of time, if they want better for themselves.

[InChains]

feel like i don't belong here

dove, i know -exactly- how you feel about it. I joined a couple of weeks ago because I was drinking more than I thought I should and having trouble stopping, and had had some nights where I got very very drunk, but compared to other people our own problems can seem so very small. Fact is though this site isn't here for comparison, I'm sure every last person on this site could compare themselves to someone and think well damn I am doing pretty good next to -that- guy. If you're not happy, thats when you should be here, forget playing rank the alkie and just do what feels right for you, if this palce makes -you- feel better and if you want to be sober, then you belong

[sunshinetoday]

feel like i don't belong here

Well said IC

[Doggygirl]

feel like i don't belong here

InChains;1116200 wrote: dove, i know -exactly- how you feel about it. I joined a couple of weeks ago because I was drinking more than I thought I should and having trouble stopping, and had had some nights where I got very very drunk, but compared to other people our own problems can seem so very small. Fact is though this site isn't here for comparison, I'm sure every last person on this site could compare themselves to someone and think well damn I am doing pretty good next to -that- guy. If you're not happy, thats when you should be here, forget playing rank the alkie and just do what feels right for you, if this palce makes -you- feel better and if you want to be sober, then you belong

Amen Sistah.

DG

[Accountable for Me]

feel like i don't belong here

dove, seeing you joined in 2006, there must have been a reason why you sought out for some sort of help? You must have been questioning your alcohol consumption, right?

There are so many people who look like the have it all together on the outside. Some may not have received a DUI, or committed a crime, or been fired from a job, etc... but feel that their relationship with alcohol is not quite right.

Unfortunately for me, I ended up a sloppy drunk. Oh, yeah! SLOPPPPPPPPPY! I didn't start out that way. It took about 7 years before shit hit the fan for me. I knew I had a problem with the way I drank - excessively every time I did drink. It wasn't every day for the longest time. I got shit-faced probably once a week for quite sometime. Then it progressed...... and so forth.

This site is unique in the way that it serves more than 'one type' of alcoholic.

Anyway, whatever you decide to do, I wish you all of the best.