Getting through Christmas

[Kitty]

Dear all,

I have just joined this group and I've read some great messages that have really hit a chord.

I like many have a cycle of 3-4 AF days then a day of drinking to great excess. I have started taking Kudzu and will be reading the book soon and incorporating more of the program.

This is my 3rd AF day and I feel pretty good but I must admit I am already loosely planning rewarding myself on Friday (handy because my boyfriend won't be here that night!) which is a bad idea I know.

Anyway my question is has anyone got any helpful hints on getting through the holidays. I can self regulate not drinking on my AF days but I am meeting alot of new family memebers this year and I will have to choose between looking a bit strange when I refuse a glass of Christmas cheer or ending up making an idiot of myself if I take a drink then can't stop.

I know I shouldn't feel bad refusing a drink and that my sobriety is more important, but I know I'll be nervous and will be tempted just to take the edge off.

Let me know what you think.

:thanks:

Kitty

[NickC]

Getting through Christmas

Hi Kitty

Relatively new here as well so am also interested in this topic. I might head down the moderation route by then (currently going for a AF period before deciding) so your question is a good un for me! Whilst others I'm sure will have some tried and tested techniques which I hope they'll post, you might want to also check out a very relevant thread on the Monthly Moderation Forum - the "moderation advice" thread that Dove started. There's some good tips given there.

NICK

[Kitty]

Getting through Christmas

Thanks Nick,

I'll have a look at that now.

Kitty

[spacie]

Getting through Christmas

Hi,
I know it's hard and it still worries me too the holidays are tough. I can't drink and have been AF for close to 3 months and plan to stay that way. It took me a long time but I changed my way of thinking about looking odd or standing out if I'm not drinking; I don't care what anyone else thinks. And, you'd be surprised most people don't care or notice if you're not drinking. I have experimented a couple of times and I just make sure I have something to drink and don't tell anyone what I'm drinking. What I'm learning to do is not listen to the voice in your head telling you it's okay to drink. You know that voice - hey why not have one more it will be okay...oh you'll be fine tomorrow.

spacie

spacie

[drunkinslayer500]

Getting through Christmas

Hi Kitty...
I don't know what to really say to you...
This all is very hard on all of us who want to cut down or stop drinking.
I think that anyone who wants to cut down or stop drinking understands that there might be a problem with there drinking.
And if thats the case it is best to just STOP all together.
So many people have bigger problems then they will admit (and i understand) who the hell wants to call themselves a drunk ? (nobody does)
But the fact is if your gonna cut back...
Then your just prolonging the pain.
Who cares about what people think when you refuse a drink ?
Have a glass of juice, because they are not the one who wants to quit (YOU ARE) so you must stick to your guns. An opinion is like a butt-hole everybody has one BUT only yours count (because its your life).
Many of your friends and family will know to have one or two drinks if they don't have a drinking problem.
But be honest will you REALLY be able to do this ?
If yes then why ask ?
If no then why ask ?
This is YOUR life don't throw it away because you don't want people to think bad of you....
My friend there gonna think alot worst of you if you get drunk and act a fool.
If they really care they will understand.
Or just lie and say you had to much last night...
Lies are not good but maybe you don't wanna tell them your business and i understand that too.
We are all children of someone who loves us dearly and they want the BEST for us in the long run.
You can do this I know you can....
Its a great time for you to see what your made of...
FIGHT IT Just say no not this time...
And If You Do Not Drink.....
December 26 will be one of the best days of your life (because you won the battle) and everyone loves a winner.
You can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
Its up to you in the end...
Only you can do it.
My Name Is Michael And I'm 1 Week Clean & Sober....
I'm A alcoholic..

[blondie]

Getting through Christmas

Drunkinslayer - Thanks

Hi Michael
What a very helpful and powerful post! Very simple, direct and to the point; certainly tipping the scales in favour of my continuing abstinence over the festive season! Look forward to reading more of your posts.
Thanks and welcome
Blondie

[Scarlet]

Getting through Christmas

Hi Kitty, :new:

I have to agree with Blondie. That was a great reply, Michael - very inspiring! While I won't have the SAY NO struggle that most of you will have with the Holidays coming up - I am returning to my hometown in the Southern US, where alcohol is not even sold - there will be a few challenges. My family will manage to have a bottle of wine on hand to toast the day, or a bottle of Jack hidden somewhere to bring out on Family Card Night. My strategy - I plan to claim that "I'm watching my calories"........maybe tell them that I'm on South Beach ( for those of you not familiar with that diet, alcohol is banned for the first couple of weeks). Only, if I tell them that then I'll have to stay away from ALL carbs as well. YIKES! That's even more of a challenge at Christmas!:H

Michael is right........lies are not good, but if "little white ones" can get you through these initial phases of saying NO, then I think you should start thinking of a few. Maybe tell them you're feeling a little "under the weather", whatever works. I am already practicing my "excuses" for not imbibing.

In the end, remember you only have to answer to yourself - YOU will be the one having to wake up the next morning and look yourself in the mirror.

Good Luck Kitty!! And everyone else during this difficult time of year!!

Scarlet

[Guest]

Getting through Christmas

It is REALLY difficult, and I dread Christmas.

I drink wine, so even that celebratory glass at the dinner table at my Mother-in-Laws is going to be embarrasiing to turn down, even though she knows I have a drink problem. And so in fact, I really don't want to go at all - just because of that!

I just think - why can't I just have one drink ? But once it passes my lips, I know that I will want another.

I have ordered 2 DVD's of quizes to play in the afternoon, so hopefully my mind will be diverted.

Anyway, chatting here is really helping. It's 10.16 here and I have had 2 cups of coffee and had Egg dip ( or eggy bread ) That's my mum's influence, making me eat. So all good.

take care X

[jay42]

Getting through Christmas

yep xmas will be difficult for everyone i guess . a tip that might help ( thati got from my support worker) is to write down a list of triggers that would make you take up a drink .. mine was a long list lol. but when i felt a cravingi looked at my list and thought about the trigger in question andi managed to stay drink free ie just thinking about WHY i needed a drink enabled me to take a back seat away from myself and i think from personal exeprience when a craving kicks in its those vital first second/minutes that tip the scales of taking that first drink or not taking it ....( when cravings kicked in for me and i just acted on impulse andthe drinking lasted for about 3 days straight)
.....
hope the tip helps
b/wishes