The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

[scottish lass]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

You guys are all the best - caught up on posts - we had blackouts two evenings when it was over 100 degrees, and I got out of the habit of checking in with everyone - and thta led to breakling of new habits and back to old ones, - it is so damn easy to go back, and I did it - have ben driniking last four nights - and now feel like.....well, you all know how i feel. I am so miserable, so sad and so let down,
got the IRS demand for the money that they said we owed, with a demand for payment on July 7th - we are still trying to fight it - my ex-husbands partner made an error and said that we GOT rent from him, but we PAID him the rent for the business - and somehow IRS does not care. Not making any progress with the short sell and getting foreclosure notices now - all seems so dark and no way out - so of course, i self medicate with AL - and of course, all it does is make everything so much worse. I wish I could learn.
So Sunday pity party, and really hoing that I will not drink today - or tomorrow, but feel so lonely, and weak....
Girls went away to a weeks camp today - so this wil be a good week to sort myself out - I will be here daily and that is my best help.
Want to break the cycle, get my life etc into order and start to live again - thanks ot all of you for being here - sorry I am such a downer - I really want the days where I post great uplifting messages like most of you guys...

[bizman]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

BIZ?.Hey there!, You gave me something serious to think about?.the 5 things I can?t recover from?.?? What a challenge?.!?!? Here?s the first things that come to mind:
1. Can?t let go of my past
2. Can?t forgive myself
3. Don?t know how to love me
4. Addiction?, in every sense of the way
5. JUDGE! I?m the worst judge of myself
Thank you for giving me this chance! Looking forward to your input! I wish you the best with your job search!

Mellissa Thank you for your answer lets take a look this is what I think (does not make it right)

1.no you can't let go of your past but you don't have to let it get in the way of moving on. I will never forget the son we lost at 5 months 18 days and 10 hours. However is still have all the love in the world for our other two kids

2.Can't forgive yourself. Is it Can't or won't You must learn that forgiveness is a key to the soul. If God can forgive why can't you?

3. don't know how to love yourself. Don't be fooled one cannot love another without loving your self. Put your faith in God and find out what happens. I don't know you but I would bet the farm that you are Kind, loving person that would do anything to help another person. Bet I'm right!!!!!

4. Agreed but can be beat and I know now from reading Allen Car's Easy Way that willpower is the worst it only sets the stage to fail it is what it is disigned for. your mine is far more powerfull

5. Judge you are the worst judge of your self. OK we are all hard on ourselfs but learn from your mistakes and move on in the end you will not be the judge. Be not be afraid to take a chance on yourself and look at others for who they really are. My mom use to say "Keeo your enemys as close to the heart as possible in that way you controll them" and finily do not let anyone make you feel bad or infearer. You are strong. Hope these thoughts help Michael

[tlrgs]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

scottish lass;1137381 wrote: You guys are all the best - caught up on posts - we had blackouts two evenings when it was over 100 degrees, and I got out of the habit of checking in with everyone - and thta led to breakling of new habits and back to old ones, - it is so damn easy to go back, and I did it - have ben driniking last four nights - and now feel like.....well, you all know how i feel. I am so miserable, so sad and so let down,
got the IRS demand for the money that they said we owed, with a demand for payment on July 7th - we are still trying to fight it - my ex-husbands partner made an error and said that we GOT rent from him, but we PAID him the rent for the business - and somehow IRS does not care. Not making any progress with the short sell and getting foreclosure notices now - all seems so dark and no way out - so of course, i self medicate with AL - and of course, all it does is make everything so much worse. I wish I could learn.
So Sunday pity party, and really hoing that I will not drink today - or tomorrow, but feel so lonely, and weak....
Girls went away to a weeks camp today - so this wil be a good week to sort myself out - I will be here daily and that is my best help.
Want to break the cycle, get my life etc into order and start to live again - thanks ot all of you for being here - sorry I am such a downer - I really want the days where I post great uplifting messages like most of you guys...

in time with everything in life comes full circle you will learn and with every step backwards you will learn to keep moving forward .. so you drink well its takes a very strong person to look for help and seek one own happyness and just remember this wont last forever .. so just keep doing your best keep trucking along and make as many good changes for your life.. and keep posting ..love and big hugs

[tlrgs]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

bizman;1137409 wrote: BIZ?.Hey there!, You gave me something serious to think about?.the 5 things I can?t recover from?.?? What a challenge?.!?!? Here?s the first things that come to mind:
1. Can?t let go of my past
2. Can?t forgive myself
3. Don?t know how to love me
4. Addiction?, in every sense of the way
5. JUDGE! I?m the worst judge of myself
Thank you for giving me this chance! Looking forward to your input! I wish you the best with your job search!

Mellissa Thank you for your answer lets take a look this is what I think (does not make it right)

1.no you can't let go of your past but you don't have to let it get in the way of moving on. I will never forget the son we lost at 5 months 18 days and 10 hours. However is still have all the love in the world for our other two kids

2.Can't forgive yourself. Is it Can't or won't You must learn that forgiveness is a key to the soul. If God can forgive why can't you?

3. don't know how to love yourself. Don't be fooled one cannot love another without loving your self. Put your faith in God and find out what happens. I don't know you but I would bet the farm that you are Kind, loving person that would do anything to help another person. Bet I'm right!!!!!

4. Agreed but can be beat and I know now from reading Allen Car's Easy Way that willpower is the worst it only sets the stage to fail it is what it is disigned for. your mine is far more powerfull

5. Judge you are the worst judge of your self. OK we are all hard on ourselfs but learn from your mistakes and move on in the end you will not be the judge. Be not be afraid to take a chance on yourself and look at others for who they really are. My mom use to say "Keeo your enemys as close to the heart as possible in that way you controll them" and finily do not let anyone make you feel bad or infearer. You are strong. Hope these thoughts help Michael

nicely said brother from another mother .. very wise words there

[melissa27]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

Now.. or later.....!

NOW? OR LATER...

Thinking on what prompted my addictions AND ready to share for the first time in my life?.I I SHARE?SHARE WITH YOU? ALL OF YOU?. LIFE-WISE and BRAVE FOLKS!!
Here I go:

Looking back at my life and desperately trying to find the CURE, I think?..:
?They?re small most of the time?!?

And? walking away feeling like I?ve done something really good.., sometimes getting a ?Thank you? later the same day?. time passed? and I got to participate in them, over and over? most of the time without even thinking of it, I?.. ENGAGED..!!!

Then, one day, I happen to walk in to someone who I once knew, envying the position he was in and what he had accomplished for himself and he asked me with this huge wonder in his eyes..: ?What happened Ef? You were way ahead of me.. how come you?re still a student??? I just wanted the earth to open up and swallow me?!

I sat bewildered, stumped and clueless as to where all the moments have gone ?! I was robbed of what is never going to come back?.
I HAD LET THEM. Ten, five, minutes of my daily life that became weeks, months, years?.. ! All this separating me from my dreams!

LORD, HAVE MERCY ON THE EASILY DISTRACTED!!!!

Love you all, still trying to come out and share? I guess this was the prologue for what?s coming up. I?m crying right now, as it?s too hard to go on?

LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
Effie:l

PS: Hey Biz, still trying to soak up on all you said! I'll sleep on it and get back to you! Thank you, for giving me lots to think about! God knows, I need it!

[sunshinedaisies]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

Effie - you cannot change the past - cry and let it out, but to worry about what was, is a waste of energy. Just go forward now. use what you have learned as a springboard - and bounce forward. I was so impressed with what Biz wrote - so proud of what he has become. He has moved forward and grown and you will too. you have taken such a giant step by coming here and sharing with us all - opening yourself up to us, trusting us and letting us help and guide you. Biz's words were very wise - Biz - I send you hugs :l. You are a good man. Please look forwards Effie. I have no need of my past - it doesn't help me to look back - I am such a different person from who I was. I am proud of who I am today. You too, will find it easier as you move forward - much love and many hugs to you my dear :h

Scottish lass - Oh dear - what to say - my heart goes out to you. i wish that there was something I could do for you. So many are having money troubles right now. i don't blame you one bit for diving into the AL - I know that isn't the right thing to say here but I understand. AL doesn't help at all, but at the time, all you want is that feeling it gives you. BUT the problem is still there when that feeling has gone away isn't it? You will get through this - I know you will. Everything happens for a reason, hard though that might be to believe right now. Hang in there, stay with us - we are here for you to vent to and don't worry about posting uplifting messages - LOL - we are here for you when you are down!! Just post so we hear from you.....okay? Please stay with us - it does help to have support here. Love and hugs,

Biz - I thought your post was great to Melissa - you said everything I would have - especially with all that you are going through - well done my friend. Hugs XX

Rog - hope you are having a good day? i ended up cleaning ! Great fun....NOT!

Hugs to everyone,

Sun XX

[NoraC]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

Hey everyone. Kiddos are next door playing. I thought they came to visit us. :H Just kidding, it's going to be like this all summer - back & forth between the houses.

I've really been reading what everyone has been posting. Not always commenting but reading it & really thinking about it. I don't know why or how I got to this point. I guess just because that stopped the feeling of never being good enough......pretty enough....smart enough.....funny enough. Covered up the dorkiness. But, then it became so much more. Self medicated is the right answer. So, my brain could just stop so I wouldn't think about it for a little bit. Didn't have to deal with everything for awhile. Anyway - I just got to thinking after reading everyone's posts. I need to try to focus on sticking with it. When the dark thoughts come back, I need to learn to stick with it. So, I'm doing therapy, some AA and trying to change some things in my daily life. You would think that something would work. :H

Ok - enough of that. Time to get busy. Amazing how 2 kids added to my small house can create such a mess. :H

Effie - big hugs (((((((((((((((((((((((((Effie)))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))

HAPPY SUNDAY everyone!!!!

[sunshinedaisies]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

Nora - one big kid added to my house has created a HUGE mess (my 25 year old has moved back temporarily) - I had forgotten how untidy she was!!!!! LOL

Hugs to you - have fun!!

love, Sun XX

[IAD]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

Mellisa and Scottish Lass......things could be worst........the Chi of doom could be around ! ha! Really ladies...we are here to help...lot's of good talent here ! Keep your chin up, we can make it with all our help.....Tony

[tlrgs]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

well have a great eve one and all see ya in the morning .. im here hanging out with sue for the night and going back home to pick up the truck in the morning or some time around there after when i get up .. .. well stay strong shifting foreward and thinking positive

[sunshinedaisies]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

Good Morning everyone - gosh Hill - I even beat you this morning! Early Monday morning meeting for me today. More storms in the night - more expected today. Really good for the garden though! Rog - hope the truck is good!!

Ruby and Bird - waiting to hear from you.....

Tony - the Chi of Doom....Really? LOL

Hugs to all, Love, Sun X

[hillsidetime]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

Good Monday morning everyone. I hope that you have a great week. We had my daughters birthday party yesterday, it was very nice. No where near as crazy and frenetic as my son's parties. What a difference between boys and girls. I am starting to get excited, 4 more days of work until my Holidays - wahooooooo.

Ringing, it has to break clear soon. That grass will shoot up when it does.
Melissa, it is awesome to read about how well you are doing, keep it up. Thank you for sharing with us, it is an important step, and we are here for you.
Sunshine, you early bird, you did get here first. I had a late baseball game, got to bed late, I am pooped. Yes, I was over two hours in my little garden weeding, moving, re-planting. I am getting some flowers on my tomatoes !
Nora, enjoy those little ones.

Take care everyone,
Hill

[bizman]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

good mornning jambers what a great day sun is shining head is clear!!!! Malllissa hang in there we all have bagage we need to remember to check it at the door and go on. Only two more chapers to go and I am determined to AF for life I can already see the differance with only one drink it is poison time to get rid of it . Sunshine wish I would started this a long time ago but you said no pressure you will do it when you want. You are so right so stay with me kid need ya love ya all of you guys. Rog I am waiting on your call

[fennel]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

Good morning, everybody! :h

I wonder if Rubes will be back online today with some pics of her weekend with Bird and chicklets? I can't wait to see them!

[NoraC]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for june

Morning all. Wish that I had some wonderful words of wisdom. But, I don't. But, I can agree that this is a wonderful site. You are safe here to come and tell your story and you will have much support & love. :h
Well -time to get ready for work. Have a fantastic day!!!!!!:l:l:l