what people think of an alcoholic?

[spuddleduck]

i was at work this morning and a man came in. one of my colleagues said quietly to me.... oh he's an alcoholic. the look on her face said it all. now he was what i would in the past have considered an alcoholic would look like, pretty down and out, scruffy etc. WHAT UTTER CRAP! it took me a long time to admit even just to myself was an alcoholic and theres a very good reason why.
before i ended up in the grips of al i guess i was very guilty of the same thoughts. i would think they were weak, selfish people, why didnt they just stop.
you see a lot of things in the media about other addictions such as heroin and we've all seen the films etc about addicts going cold turkey. i never realized how difficult escaping the booze trap was. the fact that it is all around us and accepted as a social thing to drink doesnt help. it was ages before i realized that the shaking and sweating that i suffered from was booze related.
im not really saying anything in particular here but it certainly got me thinking.

[spuddleduck]

what people think of an alcoholic?

oh and i have seen this man around the pubs, and he seems to be intellegent and knowledgeable. (or perhaps i was drunk and we were just talking bollocks)

[autumn]

what people think of an alcoholic?

This has always bothered me, and I guess what keeps us all feeling so ashamed and guilty and secretive etc, because we feel so utterly judged.

drug addict, aw bless, lots of help, not your fault, drugs are bad and some one must of led you astray.

Alcoholic, well you're just weak, easy, dont drink. If only!!!!!! So utterly utterly miss-understood. If you have a 'real' life threatening disease, one you didn't ask for like cancer, theres no shame, only support and help. But an alkie, well, your just not trying. We didn't damn well ask for this disease either.

It's all the mis-concepts too, well they cant be an alkie, he doesnt drink meths, doesn't sleep on a park bench, blah, blah. No one sees you shaking in the morning trying to keep your first drink down whilst trying to act normally to the rest of the world. God we so mis-understood by anyone other than fellow suffers. :upset:

Sorry to rant Spuddles, but I hate the judgement of others and the guilty labels and so called weakness that is associated with having an AL problem. It is what stops so many asking for help sooner.

[spuddleduck]

what people think of an alcoholic?

feel free to rant away autumn. as i said i was guilty of this judgement, in fact i used to even look down on people who went out and got drunk (socially..ha ha) on a weekend, little did i realize i was gonna be the one who sunk to the bottom of the bottle

[Charlotte's Web]

what people think of an alcoholic?

All too true.

I am seeing my doctor regularly now for vitamin b12 shots. I started yesterday. I mentioned to her that I had been a very heavy drinker and she didn't bat an eyelid.....just said "Oh, that's alot" when I mentioned quantities.

Yesterday, I saw a psychiatrist (for ongoing depressions) and said the same thing. Once again, no comment! I couldn't believe that 2 doctors just overlooked what I've been drinking.

I am doing well at the moment, but you'd think the doctors would offer at least some support.

I'm taking a new anti-depressant and the info inside says that binge drinking and heavy drinking with this medication will cause liver damage. Despite knowing my history, the doctor still prescribed it.

[ATLThrash]

what people think of an alcoholic?

I have found that many in teh medical profession treat the alcohol issue as a moral failing-- I recall when I told a doctor that I was drinking too much-- at the time it was about 4 glasses of wine a night. He said "well, first stop drinking. If you stop you won't be so fat". Yikes! How insensitive. My question would have been-- do you think you need some help to stop, since it seems that you are concerned about it? It is almost as if if we do not come in and say well I am a drunken sot and must be committed to a detox or I will harm myself that there is somewhat of a standoffishness about it by the doctors. If we were shooting up 4 times a day I am pretty sure the docs would not say "oh, that's alot-- next topic". i told one doctor I trusted and had known for a long time what was going on with me. And I was still ashamed and embarrassedthinking he would just freak and immediately look at me like Nicholas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. He didn't and I am sure there are good docs who don't too. But it is hard when it does often appear that both the helpers (medical profession) and alleged support systems (Family, friends) think alcoholics are just weak and pathetic and can just say no easily. Often I think it is feast or famine-- folks either don't think alcohol in any amount no matter how much is a problem (as long as you don't look like a wino or break a law while drunk) and can be easily stopped or they think one drink is the sign of the devil. I know my mom was very judgmental about alcohol at all but then she is judgmental period-- but that attitude is also harmful.

sorry for the rant-- this topic just really hits home with me!

[fennel]

what people think of an alcoholic?

I know, Spuds ...some of the best, kindest, most intelligent people I know come from this site. I hate the stereotypes, too. :h

[Guest]

what people think of an alcoholic?

Many times people have not believed I'm not an alcoholic, including 'experts' and other alcoholics. I've been told I'm too young (a few years ago!), to healthy, too fit, too pretty. Those people obviously have not seen me when I'm on a bender. Also obviously if a person drinks long and hard enough then they will undergo physical changes that would identify them, such as the bulbous nose, constant read face etc. Before then it's not always so obvious.

[Charlotte's Web]

what people think of an alcoholic?

Good input, guys.

I got the impression that I wasn't being taken seriously when I mentioned my drinking to the doctors. As I haven't had a drink for a while, my skin is OK. I'm going to the gym alot and have lost weight. Yesterday, I dressed nicely. (I don't mean to be vain.) But I don't think I looked or smelt like a person with an AL problem. As, ATL says, if we not breaking the law then we don't have a problem, in their eyes.

If I was a doctor, and prescribing a drug that cannot be taken whilst drinking, I would ask the patient if they needed additional support. Just because I'm doing well at the moment does not mean I'm going to do well next month. I would have thought a doctor would offer a support system or something!

Sorry, Spuds, have we hijacked your thread?

[Barbara1234]

what people think of an alcoholic?

Hi Charolette,

Just a thought, I wonder if some or many of the Doctors have AL problems and maybe we hit a nerve when we reach out to them for help. My Doc. is a horse's ass.
When I told him about my problem....I almost passed out from embarrassment.....he told me his wife drinks a lot of wine but only socially, and that her side of the family drinks quite a bit, ....well the whole conversation confused me to say the least....I'm thinking...really Doc, you can't even see the problem in your own family???
Uh...Doc let me give you a clue, I started out drinking a lot of wine, but only socially.
Anyway he just proceeded on telling me to go to AA etc. I told him I don't want to go to AA because I live in a small town, and if I walked into AA all my friends would be there lol.
Doc said...I know what you mean..... he had a friend who goes to AA and the friend ran into someone he knows at the meeting.
Well the friend told Doc and Doc said he has never looked at that person the same after he knew that he was an Alcoholic.
I'm just thinking..... get me the F**k out of here....NOW!
I only stayed because he prescribed campral for me, and he scheduled 3 follow up meetings which I have blown off.
Just because you are a Doc, doesn't mean you know it all.

[spuddleduck]

what people think of an alcoholic?

it must be difficult for doctors to know how we are. as cw said, whenvever i went to the docs i would always try and present myself well, in dress, make up and attitude. i had hinted that i was drinking too much, maybe not as honest about units as i could have been. i guess they're not mind readers and can only go on what is presented to them. it was only after i ended up in hospital through drink and self harming that i had to come out. after i was totally honest with the doc i got some much needed help.

[KateH1]

what people think of an alcoholic?

I have question....actually more like something to think about. What does "being judgmental" mean? Is it simply disagreeing with the choices or opinions of another? So often I see the term, "judgmental" kicked around her at MWO....all the while the very accusers are actually being judgmental themselves! LOL...

When I was still drinking, I felt so badly about myself that I often thought that others were "judging me"...but I now realize that I was "Projecting"....my own miserable and guilty thoughts and feeling on others. What I discovered in sobriety is that it was my own alcohol induced, depression and guilt that caused these thoughts!

None of us are mind readers.......and using passive aggressive behavior to try to get others to think or know or do what we want them to do is really unfair to them and ourselves.
Doctors are Not Mind Readers. Addiction treatment is a Specialty, just like all other diciplines in Medical Practice. If we need help with addiction, it is a good idea to first and formost be HONEST with our practioner.....if we want help with addicition....or have concerns we need to be honest. Then we need to seek out a practitioner who specializes in Addiction.

Here is my point.....we can waste time and energy worrying about what others think......how others have let us down etc. etc. etc. but, I ask. How does this help? At the end of the day, we are adults, responsible for our own lives and it is no one elses responsibilty to parent us and to fix us. But, we do have the tools and the resources to make life better for ourselves.....it is OUR choice!

Just my thoughts.....no judgments here!
Kate

[Barbara1234]

what people think of an alcoholic?

So, you go to your Doc. and pour your heart out and he treats you like crap. It's already hard to admit the problem....we're saying that we TELL the Doctors, and they look right through us, ignore what we have said.