Feeling sad

[red67]

OK my last drink was March 17th and I am very proud of.myself for that but for 10 years I avoided friends, family and social situations to drink. Now it is a beautiful day and I have no one to share it with. My sisters are married with children and don't live close to me. I have no children, boyfriend or friends. My roommate has a little girl who I love soo much but she lives an hour away and is only over ever other weekend. I have a great job but the people there all have families and dont live close to me either.

I have shopped, been out to eat, played bingo and gone to movies by myself to stay busy but today I really want to do something with other people and I have no one.

I will not drink no matter what but God I wish I had friends. This is the one thing about not drinking that really sucks. When I was drinking I would just get drunk and pass out when I had nothing to do. Now I have to deal with the overwhelming sadness.

[Barbara1234]

Feeling sad

Hey Red,

I know what you mean. I shut my friends out too when I was drinking. Where is your roommate?
Are there any clubs you could join in your community? You can check with your local Chamber of Commerce for community based events. They can range from ceramics, sewing, kayaking, walking and hiking groups, book reading clubs, bingo, women's groups. Any number of things that the community does to welcome new people into an area. Check it out and see what you can find. You won't be the only new person there looking for companionship! :l

[Ringing Cedars]

Feeling sad

My situation is a bit different--but I will say you need to start venturing out into new territory. Barbara has some great suggestions. There are numerous ways you can broaden your circle of contacts/friends. You must have interests--start there--you are worthy of friendship--and that is something that life and alcohol can take away from us. Spread your wings and fly Red! Sober is so much easier to do that.

[red67]

Feeling sad

Thanks Barbara, my roommate is a complicated situation. He has been living with me for 19 years and I used to think he was my everything. I always wanted to be in a relationship with him but basically that wasn't what he wanted. I have always been one to give everything I have to people in my life and basically got taken advantage of. I never felt good about myself and that has led to very unhealthly relationships both romantically and friendships. He and I get along well enough to live together and he is here because I absolutely love his daughter. She and I are inseparable on the weekends she is here.

I am smart, have a great job, great credit and look great for being 44 years old. My father was an alcoholic and I have always had a wall up with people since I was young. Whenever I let people in it always seemed to be unhealthy so over the years I started drinking to numb the pain.

I have come a long way especially in the last 3 months but still have a hard time letting people in. I am trying to be more open but as an adult I have no idea how to make friends. I know this will take time. Most of the time I am really OK just today it hit me that I really have no friends and I would love to go out and do something with someone.

I will definitely look for clubs and activities to join.

[red67]

Feeling sad

Thanks Ringing Cedars, I am worthy of friendship and that is a really important lesson I have learned recently. I am going to get thru this and hopefully soon. One thing I lost over the years of drinking was my sense of who I am. This will take time and I am prepared. So hopefully next time I feel like this I will have someone to call on.

[Ringing Cedars]

Feeling sad

not next time dear heart-NOW--make your contacts better than you ever imagined--it's not what you are it's what you want to be--

[damo180]

Feeling sad

Red, you sound like a wonderful person, who would make a really good friend.
So get out there, be BRAVE. I am sure it will be difficult at first, but go for it, you can do anything you want, especially now without the demon drink.
Maybe there is a voluntary group that could do with some help ?

Congratulations on getting this far AF, LETS KEEP GOING

Damo in Dublin

[red67]

Feeling sad

Hi all feeling much better now. I read back thru my original posts here last year and it puts my current life in perspective. I was so desperate for a way to stop drinking and I was miserable. So I was a little sad tonight, that is way better than where I was last year. I got over the sadness am feeling better and all without alcohol. In the past I would have drank myself to sleep to not think about it. Not tonight. I have a plan to find new activities, going to find someone to hit some golf balls after work and join some classes. This new life is way better than drinking.

Thanks all for your replies. Now that I am not drinking I have to learn how to live again. I can do that.

[Barbara1234]

Feeling sad

red67;1125925 wrote: Hi all feeling much better now. I read back thru my original posts here last year and it puts my current life in perspective. I was so desperate for a way to stop drinking and I was miserable. So I was a little sad tonight, that is way better than where I was last year. I got over the sadness am feeling better and all without alcohol. In the past I would have drank myself to sleep to not think about it. Not tonight. I have a plan to find new activities, going to find someone to hit some golf balls after work and join some classes. This new life is way better than drinking.

Thanks all for your replies. Now that I am not drinking I have to learn how to live again. I can do that.

Red,

You just hit the nail on the head! You should take a class!!! That is the best way to meet people.......and do something you don't HAVE to do. Do something you want to do. Have fun with it, you can!

[spuddleduck]

Feeling sad

hi red, glad youre feeling a bit better and that you have read your early posts. it helps to remind ourselves why we are here. you've had some great suggestions here. ive read that our personal growth gets stunted when we hide in a bottle and i think its so true. we havent dealt with our feelings for so long that we dont know how to do it without booze to numb them. you're doing great, keep it up.