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    #1

    FEEL SO ALONE

    DAY 44 AF AND WOULD FEEL BETTER BUT HAVE NO SUPPORT FROM MY WIFE
    EVERYTIME SHE ASKS ME WHAT IS WRONG, I JUST SAY I WOULD LIKE A HUG AND A
    KISS AND A WORD OF SUPPORT LIKE "YOU CAN DO THIS" BUT SHE JUST BLOWS IT
    OFF ,SEEMS LIKE WE FIGHT AS MUCH AS WHEN I WAS DRINKING, SHE HOLDS EVERYTHING AGAINST ME, AND STILL BRINGS UP THE DIVORSE WORD, EVEN AT
    THIS CRUCIAL MOMENT, I AM SO CONFUSED??
    Tags: None
    #2
    FEEL SO ALONE

    Just hang in there. Living an AF life isn't easy but its doable. Whatever you do don't drink. Perhaps you need to sit her down and talk about whats going on.
    I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

    Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

    Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

    Comment

      #3
      FEEL SO ALONE

      I am sorry you are feeling bad today. Have you thought about couple counseling? Does your wife know your struggles with drinking? Maybe she is afraid of you not drinking because that's what she knows and as abnormal as living like that is maybe she is afraid of the new person you will become as you continue this journey.

      Hang in there. At least there are people here who will support you...I know its not the same but in bad times you need support where you can find it.
      AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

      Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

      Comment

        #4
        FEEL SO ALONE

        Congratulations on day 44! You certainly are not alone,Gradient! I would like to invte you into a small group called "The Journey begins here..." so you can be encouraged and have some caring friends who you can talk to. Has your wife not noticed a different you? Communication is so important in a marriage. My husbands drinks every day and what I would most like to hear from him is "Sweetheart, I have a problem with alcohol, but I am giving up alcohol and choosing you, because I love you more." We just watched an awesome movie called "Fireproof". Maybe the two of you can watch it together. It will change both of your lives. She will see herself in that movie and so will you. Best of luck to you! Love, Vicki
        I'm not what I should be, I'm not what I could be. I'm definetly not who I want to be,
        but I'm sure not who I used to be!

        There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still.

        "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME." Phil 4:13

        Comment

          #5
          FEEL SO ALONE

          Grandie,
          HUGE congrats on day 44, I am so sorry that you are not be supported, its a tough enough journey with full support let alone by yourself.

          I didn't quite get to the divorce threat stage, but I was close, my husband had really had enough. I posted a thread called 'my angry husband' (sorry cant do the link thing) recently as I really needed advice.

          I too wasn't getting much support, and my husband was still so very angry with me even tho I have six months sober. I had some really great advice from people, which might be of help for you. It helped me to understand that he is still locked into and left behind in what was the hell of my drinking days and had not been able to deal with his residue and still raw anger.

          We were able to resolve it by talking openly, as he refused to go for couple counselling, which i feel would of been best, albeit very painful as i am sure he had a heck of a lot he would of wanted to vent at me. We are not perfect, but a bit better. I was considering splitting up as I felt I had to put my sobriety first, and if things don?t stay on an even keel, it?s an action I will have to take. Looking after me and staying sober has to be the major focus, and hopefully as each day passes, he will start to relax and let his guard down. i have to accept i have hurt him with my drinking, but he has to accept we need to move on in order to grow.

          I hope this helps, PM if you want, we are all her to support each other
          I can not alter the direction of the wind,

          But I can change the direction of my sail.


          AF since 01/05/2014

          100 days 07/08/2014

          Comment

            #6
            FEEL SO ALONE

            Hi Gradien,
            I think you have gotten some good feedback.
            For myself, I know my husband and I have had some tough interactions since I've been AF. We've had fights even when I've made a choice not to drink so that we would get along, then end up having it out. He has said some harsh things at times. I know he is there for me and proud of me. I also know I have hurt him over and over and over, etc. I have said and done things I don't even remember. I have wasted weekends being passed out. I could probably write a book. I have been drunk a lot of our relationship. So he is angry at times. I don't always think he is kind or supportive. I also know he will never fully understand the significance of every day that I am AF. He will never comprehend how important every small battle we win is like a war being won over AL. It's monumental, and important. You have to put your sobriety first. I am not sure of good solution for you. I do know there is loads of support here for you.
            Wishing you well!:l

            Ive learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. -Martha Washington

            Comment

              #7
              FEEL SO ALONE

              THANKS TO ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT, AS I READ I DON'T FEEL SO ALONE ANYMORE

              Comment

                #8
                FEEL SO ALONE

                sick of being sick;1125910 wrote: Congratulations on day 44! You certainly are not alone,Gradient! I would like to invte you into a small group called "The Journey begins here..." so you can be encouraged and have some caring friends who you can talk to. Has your wife not noticed a different you? Communication is so important in a marriage. My husbands drinks every day and what I would most like to hear from him is "Sweetheart, I have a problem with alcohol, but I am giving up alcohol and choosing you, because I love you more." We just watched an awesome movie called "Fireproof". Maybe the two of you can watch it together. It will change both of your lives. She will see herself in that movie and so will you. Best of luck to you! Love, Vicki
                HI there, I have just been watching celebrity rehab with Dr Drew and he makes it very clear that people dont choose to do drugs/alchohol over loving a person it is a disease and the disease wins without treatment, I am sure your husband would love to say those words too but until he recognises its a disease then.........? Good Luck x
                Keeps x:happyheart:

                Comment

                  #9
                  FEEL SO ALONE

                  First of all ((((Gradientecho)))). Congrats on day 44. That is super. You have to want sobriety for yourself first. If you want it only to please your wife it won't last.
                  Instead of focusing on what your wife is not doing or saying what is being sober doing for you? What do you like about being sober versus being drunk or waking up after being drunk? What things are better with you sober?

                  Comment

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