obsessed

[looking for peace]

I realized for most of my drinking career I've been mentally obsessed with alcohol 90% of the time. It is really starting to drive me crazy. If I'm not drinking, I'm thinking about how am I not going to drink. Or I am reading books and articles about drinking, watching reruns of Intervention and browsing through this website. (don't get me wrong, I think this a fantastic source, I'm just on here a lot)

I have had a few periods in my life where I was able to focus on other things. I was mentally obsessed with gardening and yoga for a short period of time. I was also anorexic for about 2 years when I was 19. It was so similar to how I feel now. Foremost in my mind I was thinking about food and how not to eat it and how I could burn more calories. I was getting on the scale about 20 times a day. It was mentally exhausting. Similar to how I feel now. There are many times I wish I could go back and exchange the alcohol for another bout of anorexia. Seriously, at least if I were anorexic again, I would feel too scared to put alcohol in my mouth for fear of the extra calories.

It seems like the less I drink (which is were I am now, not totally AF), the more space it takes up in my mind. Does anyone else feel this way. Does anyone know how I can turn this thing around?

[keepwalking]

obsessed

Have you had any professional help/therapy/counseling? This looks deep rooted to me LFP. perhaps you cant fix it on your own and need an expert? what does your GP say?

[jessie]

obsessed

I agree - I think professional help can be of great help - and also there are medications that helps for obsessions and compulsions. I went through a period of bulimia - which points to the fact that there are underlying reasons for the bulimia and alcoholism.

I hope you get better soon.