Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

[Recluse]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

Morning starty

never got offered the gadgets before cos all the GPs I had were men and rubbish. My current GP (since last year) is a woman and she is brilliant and put me in touch with the people who are providing the equipment.

It's an odd thing, but I have never ever heard a woman confess to farting. Surely it can't only be the blokes who fart?

[startingover]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

Recluse;1130491 wrote: Morning starty

never got offered the gadgets before cos all the GPs I had were men and rubbish. My current GP (since last year) is a woman and she is brilliant and put me in touch with the people who are providing the equipment.

It's an odd thing, but I have never ever heard a woman confess to farting. Surely it can't only be the blokes who fart?

No, we ladies never ever lift a cheek and let one rip......ever.....

I am soo pleased you have a good GP now. Some of them are so fucking useless its criminal

[Recluse]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

Sooo - I guess we've set the tone for this morning's conversation. We need someone more high-minded to raise the tone. Where are you stirly?

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

Or I can bore you with the details of my post-colonial exploitation of house & garden slaves...

Ask Starty: I feed them Jungle Oats :H

[startingover]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

tiptronic_ct;1130498 wrote: Or I can bore you with the details of my post-colonial exploitation of house & garden slaves...

Ask Starty: I feed them Jungle Oats :H

He bloody does as well :H

[Recluse]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

I have been researching the subject.

Fragrant flatulence, however, comes from colonies of bacteria shacked up inside our lower intestinal tract (which is why it can take hours for gas to kick in after a meal). In the process of converting our meals into useful nutrients, these food-munching microbes produce a smelly by-product of hydrogen sulfide gas?the same stench that emanates from rotten eggs.

Although the gaseous response of bacteria to food differs from person to person (as every one has a unique collection of their own), the biggest gas-generating ingredients are sugars, especially the following four:

* Fructose ? A natural ingredient in plants like onions, corn, wheat and even pears. It's often concentrated into a sugary syrup for soft drinks and fruit drinks.

* Lactose ? Milk's sweet natural ingredient, also added to foods like bread and cereal. Some people are born with low levels of lactase, the enzyme that breaks down lactose, a fact that inflates their gassy susceptibility.

* Raffinose ? The secret gassy ingredient in beans, which is also found in broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, asparagus and other vegetables. Products like Beano, designed to reduce gas production, break down the sugar before it can reach eager intestinal bacteria.

* Sorbitol ? Found in almost all fruits, this indigestible sugar is also used as an artificial sweetener in "diet" and sugar-free foods. Yes, sugar-free gum, candy, soda and anything else deceptively sweet can cause gas.

Other fart-forming ingredients include fiber and starches found in foods like corn, potatoes and wheat. While fats and protein don't cause gas, they can make a meal take longer to digest?and give bacteria more time to generate gas from other ingredients.

Just about the only food that doesn't give us gas? Rice.

Does this count as an inappropriate post?

[startingover]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

So Recciebear. Do the fruit farts smell better than the milk farts?

[Recluse]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

Mine don't IMHO, but you are welcome to sit next to me and form your own opinion!

Can this conversation go downhill any further???

[startingover]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

Recluse;1130504 wrote: Mine don't IMHO, but you are welcome to sit next to me and form your own opinion!

Can this conversation go downhill any further???

Everybody loves their own fart smell :H

[startingover]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

mollyka;1130506 wrote: Nothing bar NOTHING is worse than hubs Guinness farts -- IMHO

Speckled hen farts are prolly pretty comparable.
I am sure my hubs still loves them tho :H

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

Good grief...

[Panno]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

Never heard my husband fart in 20 years!!! Always reckoned he was not human!!

Morning Army

[Recluse]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

Catch you later Molly. Morning Panno.

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

Morning, Panno

I was going to ask if he's been dead for 20 years, but then thought better of it.

[Panno]

Army Thread Tuesday 14th June

Morning Reccie ... always want to give your avatar a big hug Great news on your gadgets