Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

[lorisunshine]

Hi to all,
Have not posted here since late summer, but dropped in lurking.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer this summer, I did not fall of the wagon, I lept off it. After 1 month of total abs I somehow was arrogant enough to think that I could keep it together. No, I could not - I am now drinking worse than ever and am sick.
On top of everything else, my elderly mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer late November and I am now the care giver. I cannot work as there is simply not enough time in the day to do it all.

I have missed you all and only now realize that I could only stay abs when I had your help and encouragement. I am so sad and feel my life is just a puddle of quicksand and I am in it up to my neck. Where the hell am I going to find the strength to pull myself up by the boot straps this time? Help!:upset: :upset: :upset: :upset: Lori

[fsophiah]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Sometimes feeling sorry for yourself is appropriate. I hope you have help. If not, call hospice and find out when then can come in. They are wonderful. There is nothing here that can take away the pain of your situation, but you can come on the boards experience the drama, and feel the MWO love. I'm so sorry you are at such a terrible crossroads.

[YoungAtHeart]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Hugs Lori

Welcome back, Lori! Sophias's suggestion is a good one. Please look into hospice and get all the support that you can. And please look to us as much as you need to. We'll help you to grab hold of those bootstraps, too. Many hands are better than just yours alone.

I'm so sorry that you have found yourself in such a painful situation. My heart goes out to you, and I am sending you prayers and warm thoughts.

Love and Hugs,
Kathy:l :heart:

[pansy]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Hi Lori

Hi Lori,

I guess I thought you left when the board switched over - or was doing so well with abs was not in such great need. Lori, I think Sophia and Kathy gave great advice. I am a caretaker now too - of my parents. You need a break once in a while.

Glad you are back, Lori. You know how this place is ... you will get all the support you got last time and more, because you need more now. So, don't worry. See you on the boards.

Hugs,
Pansy

[Hawk]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Lori -

I can only echo what's been said about hospice. I used them when my Dad was terminal and it made a difference for all of us. You are in a very difficult, physically and emotionally, place. Try incorporating some outside resources to help you. And come back here as you can. The support and encouragement here (as you know!) is fantastic. I cannot imagine a better group to have on your side during a tough time than this group.

You and your family are in my thoughts.

[Allie]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Lori,
I'm so sorry to hear that your husband and Mom both have cancer. My Mom was also diagnosed with terminal cancer in August, and I know what you mean about not having enough hours in the day. My Dad helps a lot when he is not drinking, but that's a whole nother story. He has totally stopped as of the last two months, but before that, I was taking her to all chemo treatments, doc appointments, etc and "on call" to run pick up prescriptions or come over and spend the night when she was really sick and Dad was passed out on the floor drunk and couldnt help her. I too initially drank very heavy when I first got the news, as Mom and I are best friends and I cant imagine life without her. But then when I saw that Dad was burying himself to the point of being no help at all, I knew I either had to quit totally or stick to a strict plan, which for the most part I've been able to do. But you are right --- this place has been a lifeline to help me to do that.

We've missed you, and keep us posted. Did you ever get that CD I sent you back in July or August?

Welcome back,
Allie

[Popeye]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Lori.
I am fairly new here so Obviously you don't know me.
I wish that there was something I could say to help.
My mother was diagnosed with Terminal lung cancer so I can feel some of your pain.
The hospice movement is fantastic.
I can only offer you and your family my prayers and best wishes.
We're all here for you.
Love & prayers

[lucky 2.0]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Lots of people here are experiencing serious illnesses either themselves or with a loved one. I am so sorry.

[irishlady]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Lori, like Paul, I am fairly new here, but just want to say, as your pain has reached out and touched me, so i now hope my prayers and good wishes for you and yours will now reach out to you.
Please, when you can find the time, keep on coming here to read and post.

Loving wishes from Louise xxx

[KatieSmiles]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Lori,
Hang in there!

Big hugs!
Katie

[Newyear]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Hi Lori-
I remember you from when I first started here in July. I am so sorry to hear this.
I have no advice - just that I hope you find some time for yourself and hope you find some strength from the well wishes from your friends here and from the people who care about you.
Lisa

[lorisunshine]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Good morning Sophia, Kathy, pansy, hawk, Allie and Paul, Lucky, Irishlady, and Katie and also everybody else.
Thanks you so much for your encouraging words and prayers. It brought tears to my eyes, that you even remembered me. Allie, perhaps you mistake me for somebody else. There was a member with the login "lorik". But, no I did not get a CD.
Today I get a friend to stand in for me. That gives me the opportunity to do some Xmas shopping in the city. It will be nice just to get away. Here in Canada we do not have "hospice". However, a nurse from the palliative unit is coming once a day to dress, take blood pressure etc. Also, I have requested more help and am probably getting it soon.
It is so sad to watch this former fire ball of energy, which my mother was, dwindle away. As for myself, and just for extra measure, I am going for an ultra sound on the 18th to check out a lump in my leg muscle and if that is inconclusive, they will do a biopsy. My husband is going to see his specialist on the 19th. for another scope, to see if the cancer grew back. Then they will decide to do radiation, I guess.
As for the drinking, well by 8:30 pm last night, all I wanted to do was sleep, which I helped along with a triple scotch on the rocks and as usual it worked.
Thanks again for welcoming me back into the fold and I will really need you all. Love you buckets. Lori

[Hawk]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

Glad you got a brief respite Lori. Its important to take some time for you, to keep you strong! Continuing to keep you in my prayers.:h

[InnerStrength]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

I remember you Lori - welcome back - consider yourself wholly embraced.
Love jen

[lorisunshine]

Man I'm feeling sorry for myself!

So sad.

Hello to all of you. My mom passed on shortly before midnight on the 13th. peacefully asleep in the Hospital Emergency ward. I just thought I wanted to share this with you. I will be busy organizing a celebration of her life with family and friends.
Lori