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    A wake up call

    Last night i had a big wake up call , i have been AF for a while now and feel great about it no real cravings or problems
    Last night friends called over and i offered them a drink (flavored potcheen) that was given to me , i had no reason or want to drink any but then i smelt it and bang the drunk inside me woke up, my Alkie brain was racing and trying everything , every reason to drink, like going on a first date heart pounding and all reason going out the window , i didn't care or worry about drinking, about all the bullshit starting up again.

    I didn't drink ..... I have never had such a swing of emotions in my life , seconds is all it took. It has woke me up to the fact i need to still be very careful still have a lot to learn and in a way i feel as if i have betrayed myself for letting my thoughts get so out of control. I'm not posting this for people to come on and say well done on beating your cravings or am looking any praise but for people who are like me (i thought i was flying) just to beware the drunk is only sleeping inside us.
    AF 5/jan/2011

    #2
    A wake up call

    madmans;1134412 wrote: beware the drunk is only sleeping inside us.
    Indeed. Excellent cautionary tale with a good ending.
    sigpic
    Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

    Comment


      #3
      A wake up call

      I call him the monster always looking over my shoulder waiting for me to let my guard down, but I like your analigy, the drunk sleeping inside of us- Good one!
      DLW
      Sobriety since October 2008 ( with a few bumps in the road ) - but I am still here, strong and fighting every day for my sobriety!
      And every day is a challenge - But I am WINNING so far!



      • Yesterday is History
        Today is a Mystery
        Tomorrow is a GIFT

      Comment


        #4
        A wake up call

        Madmans - great job. I feel it too. Almost 9 months AF and just recently I was out to dinner and I thought for a fleeting moment - oh one beer won't hurt...I DON'T EVEN DRINK BEER! It passed but it freaked me out. I know that personally, I will probably never be comletely safe from that sneaky bastard.
        February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

        When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

        Comment


          #5
          A wake up call

          Hi Everyone,

          I just had the same damned thing happen to me on my 30 day AF anniversary. I was looking sooo forward to posting here at MWO and having a huge cyber celebration. Then I almost drank, this was on Father's Day.
          This has left me confused and depressed. I didn't celebrate a thing on my day 30. This bastard will never let me be. I almost blew it. Now I have to add tools to my plan. Secret weapons for the out of the blue cravings after weeks of nothing. WTF???????
          THOUGHTS become THINGS
          choose the GOOD
          ones!

          AF since 5/22/11 :boxer: Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.............

          Comment


            #6
            A wake up call

            Wonderful post, Madders.

            just to beware the drunk is only sleeping inside us.
            Now what the divil is potcheen


            And Barbara, hun. 30 days is a heck of an achievement and you came through Father's Day with flying colours.:goodjob: Now then we'll just have to have a double celebration for your 60 days and I'll start your thread.
            It could be worse, I could be filing.
            AF since 7/7/2009

            Comment


              #7
              A wake up call

              Excellent post! I've heard it said that while I am busy not drinking, AL is out in the parking lot doing push ups, just waiting for me.

              Your story is such a great reminder to me that each day of my life needs to start with a committment to sobriety. That will be as true many years from now as it is today. I am no longer white knuckling - far from it. BUT....the thought flits through my brain once in awhile. I just feel like I must ALWAYs stay alert for it.

              And never ever take sobriety for granted. I'm so glad you shared this. And congrats for hanging on to your AFness with both hands!

              DG
              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


              One day at a time.

              Comment


                #8
                A wake up call

                thanks Madmans,

                thats good to know, I have recently started to go to the pub for a game of darts with some friends.
                I will be on my guard. At the moment I only stay for an hour or so, enjoy my few games but leave when the darts finish, and when the lads are stocking up for last orders.
                I quite enjoy leaving the pub early so I get a good nights sleep ready for the next days challenges :-)

                Fair play Madman

                Damo in Dublin
                Still trying !!!
                AF 25th June2014

                Comment


                  #9
                  A wake up call

                  Thanks MM for the reminder. So far I have not really been too challenged in my AL free journey and I am loving and appreciating everyday. I am thankful everyday for being able to find my way out and I will be on double guard duty against the demon. One thing I will not do is keep alcohol in my house nor offer it to anyone else. I do believe I have to win everytime in this battle and the demon only has to win once to take me down and I will not let that happen.
                  AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

                  Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    A wake up call

                    Thanks again MM, brilliant post to remind us all how it can only take a brief moment of madness to end all the work we have put in to staying sober.

                    Lets keep going, goodnight all....

                    Damo in Dublin
                    x
                    Still trying !!!
                    AF 25th June2014

                    Comment


                      #11
                      A wake up call

                      Madmans, thanks for sharing this post. You make a great point, alcohol is a cunning foe, and always ready to strike. Like I often quote " the greatest trick the devil ever played, was convincing us he didn't exist".
                      Hill
                      Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        A wake up call

                        Thanks everyone for your feed back, yesterday i remembered about a wedding i was at 11 years ago and an In law that was sitting at the same table as me had to leave the room because he could smell Brandy , i knew he had a drink problem but i remember thinking/saying (even when i knew i had a problem) he must be really F@@ked up if smelling Brandy did that to him, well now i know
                        Now what the divil is potcheen
                        Jackie it's "Irish Moonshine" maybe is the best way to describe it neat it tastes paint thinner, when hot like a hot whiskey its drinkable , the bottle i was give was flavoured with Brandy balls (Brandy balls are a hard boiled sweet ) all that drank some said it tasted really good, my wife's head still was sore last night at dinner time . So it's just another way to poison yourself after all :H:H
                        AF 5/jan/2011

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